Funny Murder Defense

[DSmith21]

Man accused of murder by choking a woman to death. His defense is that he didn't try to kill her but rather she choked on his enormous unit during oral. The jury wants to see the murder weapon.[roll]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4510994/Attorneys-feud-man-s-intent-jury-penis.html

 

[Dig Dirkler]

Man accused of murder by choking a woman to death. His defense is that he didn't try to kill her but rather she choked on his enormous unit during oral. The jury wants to see the murder weapon.[roll]

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4510994/Attorneys-feud-man-s-intent-jury-penis.html

Sounds to me like the dude just wants to wekk it for a captive audience before they haul his *** to jail.

 

[Rupp'sRunt]

My dick got lodged in her throat. Bold strategy cotton let's see how it works out for him

 

[UKGrad93]

Wouldn't they also need the woman's head and throat or at least a model of it? Kinda analogous to If the glove don't fit, you must acquit.

 

[Rupp'sRunt]

Wouldn't they also need the woman's head and throat or at least a model of it? Kinda analogous to If the glove don't fit, you must acquit.

Judge: Bailiff bring in the body. Can someone pry her jaw open? Ok sir show us what happened next

 

[UKGrad93]

Judge: Bailiff bring in the body. Can someone pry her jaw open? Ok sir show us what happened next

Did the thing get stuck in there or something?

 

[Rupp'sRunt]

Did the thing get stuck in there or something?

I was accounting for rigamortis

 

[UKGrad93]

It seems like rh setup for a porn flick. The defense will have to bring in another woman so the man can demonstrate. The jury needs to understand why she couldn't just spit out hat big cock out.

Eventually the whole thing turns into an orgy scene. Someone get Brazzers on the phone.

 

[DSmith21]

It seems like rh setup for a porn flick. The defense will have to bring in another woman so the man can demonstrate. The jury needs to understand why she couldn't just spit out hat big cock out.

Eventually the whole thing turns into an orgy scene. Someone get Brazzers on the phone.

The only problem with the porn angle is that he is 65 and she was 60. Who wants to watch that. On the other hand, I think that grandpa could be the new poster boy for Viagra.

 

[Kooky Kats]

After this dude walks, he's the new Pope of Del Boca Vista.

 

[Captain Forehead]

Dude gonna pop a viagra before court. Then do what for the next 4 hours til it goes away?

 

[_Zardoz_]

After this dude walks, he's the new Pope of Del Boca Vista.

[roll]

 

[_Zardoz_]

Dude gonna pop a viagra before court. Then do what for the next 4 hours til it goes away?

Call his doctor.

 

[LordEgg_rivals16573]

After this dude walks, he's the new Pope of Del Boca Vista.

All phases.


The Vill-a-ges! Americas favorite hometown!

 

[DSmith21]

Wow!!! The monster penis defense worked. Gramps was found not guilty of murder.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4532578/Florida-man-not-guilty-oral-sex-murder-case.html

 

[USSLair]

[laughing]

 

[funKYcat75]

Ahead of Patterson's trial, his penis has emerged as a bone of contention between the defense and the prosecution, with the former seeking to have it shown to the jury and the latter insisting that if

 

[catlanta33]

I wasn't sure if I would beat this case but I did.

 

[funKYcat75]

The victim had COPD anyway. Choking On Patterson's Dick.

 

[catlanta33]

Probably an average age of at least 35 here now and all it takes is a story like this for us to turn 13 again.

*giggles*

 

[_Zardoz_]

Evidently Patterson erected a strong defense.

 

[funKYcat75]

Sure he's partially responsible, but there is a vas deferens between murder and accidental homicide.

 

[BlueBleedingMarine]

Hung jury

 

[DSmith21]

Tabloid Headline: Massive Penis gets Richard Patterson Off.

 

[_Zardoz_]

Sure he's partially responsible, but there is a vas deferens between murder and accidental homicide.

That's damned fine work.

 

[_Zardoz_]

I can't believe this guy got off. This case has definitely exposed one of the phallacies in our penile code, namely that the punishment fits the crime.

 

[PhattyJ4UK_rivals309166]

Sure he's partially responsible, but there is a vas deferens between murder and accidental homicide.

Winner winner

 

[anon_q409idbs5m40a]

Since male genitalia is now considered to be a murder weapon are we going to have laws restricting use, marches in the streets with a total ban considered?

 

[Lexie's Dad]

Since male genitalia is now considered to be a murder weapon are we going to have laws restricting use, marches in the streets with a total ban considered?

Only against assault penises.

 

[anon_q409idbs5m40a]

Only against assault penises.

Does that mean ones that can be fully automatic?

 

[USSLair]

I'm going start booking hoes left n right. Then they " choke on my hotdog".

Get away from paying and murder. This case might go down as a serial screwer/ killer best idea yet.

 

[CrittendenWildcat]

Since male genitalia is now considered to be a murder weapon are we going to have laws restricting use, marches in the streets with a total ban considered?

When you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

 

[anon_q409idbs5m40a]

When you pry it out of my cold, dead hands.

LOL