Have you ever ripped a loud fart at work?
- Thread starter ScrewDuke1
- Start date
As a retired Dupont shift worker, we not only let them but we lit them...very common to the "D" shift crew.
Yes, 'early and often'.
Previously, before this lock-down, Thursday nights usually meant meetup and beers with IT developer + programmer friends. Friday mornings = hard to contain gas at the office. Couple colleagues in nearby cubes have oft suffered the wrath of my indiscretions from previous evenings.
Beer and egg omelettes w/onions + salsa = hell on earth.
Previously, before this lock-down, Thursday nights usually meant meetup and beers with IT developer + programmer friends. Friday mornings = hard to contain gas at the office. Couple colleagues in nearby cubes have oft suffered the wrath of my indiscretions from previous evenings.
Beer and egg omelettes w/onions + salsa = hell on earth.
Loud? Never. Too risky. Deadly and surreptitious? Fairly regularly. Gotta time it juuuuuust right.
Here's a better question........
Ever played "dutch oven" with your significant other ?
Loud, nah. But many a secretaries have walked in my office and immediately about faced and left without saying a word..
There's nothing like that crestfallen look on someone's face as they enter your office and get a nice whiff...
Eric Swalwell approves of this thread.
Its all about laying the trap so it wafts right into some poor s.o.b.s nostrils as they turn the corner and youre halfway down the hall. Or leaving something atop a ladder, sharting on your way down, and asking someone else to go up the ladder to grab what you forgot. The look on their face as the step up into it like a brickwall...priceless.
My college roommate of 4 years used to fart in the dorm elevator with me, wait for it to stop on a different floor than our own, and get out right as people got on.. and it was often girls as the floors were co-ed separated.
And I'd fall for it every time... He'd be off the elevator before I even knew.. and I'd be the only one left, the likely culprit of a college-cafeteria-food fart, riding 10 stories in funk.
And I'd fall for it every time... He'd be off the elevator before I even knew.. and I'd be the only one left, the likely culprit of a college-cafeteria-food fart, riding 10 stories in funk.
Was in a calculus final at UK sitting near the back of about 30 guys. Prof - nice guy of about 30 - had started writing problems on board - how it was done then - & we all had our heads down working on first one. Well I set off a 5 seconds siren that rocked the walls. It just squeezed out, no criminal intent. I kept my head down working. Everyone else was doubled up. Was told prof turned around with a weird look on his face.
Once in the middle of a PowerPoint meeting. I had the perfect angle and air pressure to make it the loudest fart I had produced. Only about 9 people in the room. My manager barely stopped but I was about on the floor laughing.
My office is a corner office. I was at the tail end (no pun intended) of about an 8 second thundering echo fart when my secretary walked around the corner into my office. She caught about the last 2 or 3 seconds of it. Do not know who was more embarrassed, her or me. Awkward moment is an understatement.
Yeah! I own the place, pay the payroll and treat my employees well. If I want to pull down my pants and drop a deuce in the floor I will. Won’t clean it up either. That’s what paying your employees well will do.
Crop dusting is my favorite. Have done it and left the wife and daughter to get the blame as I scurry to the next isle.
Best done on an airplane. Engine noise cancels out the sound and due to the proximity of other passengers no one can figure out who did it. It is important, however, to frown a bit and wrinkle your nose to mask the fact you are the culprit