I'm sure as hell no saint but I've never stolen. Thieves piss me off to no end.
Have you ever stolen anything?
- Thread starter J_Dee
- Start date
I'm sure as hell no saint but I've never stolen. Thieves piss me off to no end.
just several womens hearts.
and the Declaration of Independence
and the Declaration of Independence
I've never thought to steal from a business that I'm a customer of.. like a candy bar from the store or anything. But I've stolen from several past employers when I thought I was owed something.
Used to work in retail in my college days. I would hawk so much **** from there. Cut the tiniest slit into the fabricate and it becomes "damaged" and not able to be sold, and the censors never go on. I'd ear mark things to be lifted later.
There was even a decorative canoe hanging high up. While closing the store and management still there, I'd throw things in it to be picked up later. Turns out, I wasn't the only one.. I would take a ladder up to it at like 2am, and there'd be several other workers stashing things up there for later.
Funny part about corporate retail.. they generally tell you that even if you know 100% someone is stealing, you are not to approach them with anything more than a "Need help with anything?". You can't confront them, can't chase them. Nothing aside from calling mall security. I've always laughed that someone could walk by, grab a stack of 20 shirts worth $600, actually tell the store you're stealing, and walk away.
Used to work in retail in my college days. I would hawk so much **** from there. Cut the tiniest slit into the fabricate and it becomes "damaged" and not able to be sold, and the censors never go on. I'd ear mark things to be lifted later.
There was even a decorative canoe hanging high up. While closing the store and management still there, I'd throw things in it to be picked up later. Turns out, I wasn't the only one.. I would take a ladder up to it at like 2am, and there'd be several other workers stashing things up there for later.
Funny part about corporate retail.. they generally tell you that even if you know 100% someone is stealing, you are not to approach them with anything more than a "Need help with anything?". You can't confront them, can't chase them. Nothing aside from calling mall security. I've always laughed that someone could walk by, grab a stack of 20 shirts worth $600, actually tell the store you're stealing, and walk away.
FREAKIN NIC CAGE IS HERE!!!!
Jeff Gibson's tickets from the will call booth for the Pixies concert at the UK Student Center in 1992. We couldn't find any tickets for sale anywhere and noticed their will call procedures were just envelopes with a name and number of tickets on them and they weren't checking ID. They knew who we were since we asked if they had extra tickets. Found a friend and paid him $20 to go tell them he was Jeff. They pretty much dared us to do it. Thanks Jeff.
Accidentally a few times. I'll get out to the car after checking out at the Krogs or the Wal*Marts and realize something was in the cart that I didn't put on the belt. I didn't catch it and the cashiers didn't either. Usually something very small like chapstick or something. I'd say I've probably broken even given what I've left in a cart in the parking lot.
Yeah, I stole an eraser from a kid in the first grade......I wanted one of those damn things..........all I had was that little nub on the end of a pencil.......he had that beauty that could cover two lines at once.....
No but below is a list of things people have stolen from me. 
- Tickets to a Pixies concert back in 1992
- An eraser in first grade
- Bubble gum singles, baseball cards, crab pots, crawfish traps, chewing tobacco and cigarettes
- My original copy of the declaration of independence
- several of my girlfriends hearts
80 dollars worth of beer.
I was 17 and we were planning a big party that weekend. So we took up a collection at school Friday afternoon from the usual suspects. There was this liquor store in Paducah that never seemed to card you. It’s long gone I think but it was a few buildings down from the Kountry Kastle.
It was owned by a Middle Eastern or Indian gentleman and his brother. The brother barely spoke English as I recall but was always smiling. I’d hit them up to buy beer before so I knew it was going to work.
So a couple of us drive up there after school. Me and buddy looked the oldest so we go in there and grab us up about 80 dollars worth of Bud Light. We take it to the counter and the brother is working the register. He just nods his head and smiles. He says “86 dollars” in a strong accent. I say “hold on” laying the money down on the counter and go out to the car to grab six bucks from my other friend.
I come back in and hand him the six bucks. He just smiles, closes the register and walks off to the back room. We’re packing up the beer to leave and I looked down: the 80 bucks is still sitting on the counter. So my miscreant 17 year old self grabs it, shoves the money into my pocket and we walk out like nothing was going on.
Great party. Got to fondle a Persian Girl from Lone Oak huge tits. But if you ever read this Smiley I’m sorry.
I was 17 and we were planning a big party that weekend. So we took up a collection at school Friday afternoon from the usual suspects. There was this liquor store in Paducah that never seemed to card you. It’s long gone I think but it was a few buildings down from the Kountry Kastle.
It was owned by a Middle Eastern or Indian gentleman and his brother. The brother barely spoke English as I recall but was always smiling. I’d hit them up to buy beer before so I knew it was going to work.
So a couple of us drive up there after school. Me and buddy looked the oldest so we go in there and grab us up about 80 dollars worth of Bud Light. We take it to the counter and the brother is working the register. He just nods his head and smiles. He says “86 dollars” in a strong accent. I say “hold on” laying the money down on the counter and go out to the car to grab six bucks from my other friend.
I come back in and hand him the six bucks. He just smiles, closes the register and walks off to the back room. We’re packing up the beer to leave and I looked down: the 80 bucks is still sitting on the counter. So my miscreant 17 year old self grabs it, shoves the money into my pocket and we walk out like nothing was going on.
Great party. Got to fondle a Persian Girl from Lone Oak huge tits. But if you ever read this Smiley I’m sorry.
Pumpkins. I was friends with basketball players from an unnamed NAIA school and we went out on Halloween night. We stole a station wagon load of carved pumpkins from porches and then placed them all over the porch and yard of their coach’s house, all facing the front door. Man, that car smelled horrible after that but it’s one of my favorite times with friends.
And with retail - or at least this was the case with Walmart when my brother used to work there - asset protection has to see you take the item, have to have eyes on you your entire time because you have every right to get rid of the item before leaving the store, and then have to see leave the store without having gotten rid of the item. If they drop the item when you lost eyes on them, and then you accuse them of stealing when leaving the store, then that's when the **** hits the fan.
My brother said one of the asset protection folks told him that if they see someone they suspect of stealing an item and they go in the bathroom, then their case is pretty much over from there as they aren't supposed to follow them in the bathroom. They can always go in the bathroom when they leave to see if they stashed any of the packaging in there, but then you have no way of proving beyond reasonable doubt that it was that person that put it there. It could have easily been another customer that did it that you didn't even know about.
Of course, it's different with security tagged items. If you leaving the store with a stolen xbox game and don't have a receipt or video proof you paid then that's a different story.
I've stolen small stuff from work like pens, post-its, t-shirts, etc. One year the basketball team I worked with got new chairs for the benches and I walked away with one of the old chairs LOL.
When I worked at a Panera, I would "steal" some of the "expired" ingredients like meats and cheeses that we were supposed to throw away because, you know, expired. We weren't supposed to take that stuff even though it was going to be thrown away. Thing is they had set an artificially low shelf life on this stuff (like two days even though it stays refrigerated the entire time) because they claim that due to lacking preservatives, it doesn't last long. Which is 100% not the case. I took a whole sleeve of cheese home one day and had cheese for weeks that never suffered in taste or texture.
When I worked at a Panera, I would "steal" some of the "expired" ingredients like meats and cheeses that we were supposed to throw away because, you know, expired. We weren't supposed to take that stuff even though it was going to be thrown away. Thing is they had set an artificially low shelf life on this stuff (like two days even though it stays refrigerated the entire time) because they claim that due to lacking preservatives, it doesn't last long. Which is 100% not the case. I took a whole sleeve of cheese home one day and had cheese for weeks that never suffered in taste or texture.
You know those big cardboard cutouts they have at the movie theaters for the movies. I went to school about 30 miles south of Rochester. We were drunk before we ever left the dorm. Gave Freddy a standing ovation everytime he killed someone. Rolled empty beer bottles down the aisle. Anyway, after the movie I just walk outside and was in front of everyone. One guy comes up and tells me he had to talk another out of stealing the thing so we said why not. Said why not. I went up and got the car and pulled up to the front door they folded it up, carried it out and shoved it in the car, they got in and off we went. They said an employee called them a slur towards gays so today we could probably sue and get millions. We paraded it around the dorm when we got back.
My friend and I would steal beer signs from gas stations around town. We had some really nice ones over the years we had in our respective homes in college.
In elementary school, I was shopping at Target with my mom and lil brother and I put extra spacers/folders from one trapper keeper into the one I was buying. My bro ratted me out in the parking lot and my mom made me go back in and apologize.
In 1st grade, I was stealing my neighbors mail on the daily for about two weeks until my parents found them under a rock in the back yard. I wasn't doing anything with it but just kept taking it broad daylight.
In elementary school, I was shopping at Target with my mom and lil brother and I put extra spacers/folders from one trapper keeper into the one I was buying. My bro ratted me out in the parking lot and my mom made me go back in and apologize.
In 1st grade, I was stealing my neighbors mail on the daily for about two weeks until my parents found them under a rock in the back yard. I wasn't doing anything with it but just kept taking it broad daylight.
I remember in elementary school I would always go straight to the card section at KMart. There would frequently be a pack laying there opened. I would look at them and then just put them back. I finally muscled up the courage(stupidity) to take a card out of the pack. I was so paranoid about getting in trouble I never did it again.
When I worked at Panera we were always allowed to take stuff home. At one point I pretty much lived off left over Mac and cheese because I was so broke.
But then managers caught someone mislabeling stuff so they could take it. Ruined it for everyone
i was stationed at Yokota AB on the fringes of Tokyo fm 1993-1995
On my first celebration of New Years there i was coming home from “bar row” - VERY MALIGNANTLY Drunk ...
After exiting “Club 69” vis a vis “a window” (where i paused long enough to have a shouting match w/another GI that i’d just thrown down the stairs....
after re-emerging into an alleyway i goose/stepped past small apartments and just started testing the front doors to see if locked
the third door wasn’t — so i opened it thinking i’d pretend it was an honest mistake and ask for “Larry Moorehead” or something
Door opens to a foyer that featured a three foot high black wooden carving of two dragons locked into mortal battle
i grabbed the damn thing and shoved it under a thin denim jacket then immediately resumed storming l deranged, and talking to myself loudly all thru the single-officers-housing area ...
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In high school I stole my Spanish teacher's key ring. It had keys to her new truck, her house and a few other things on it. My plan was to take it just long enough to cause a panic, then sneak them back. Well, things kinda went on for a while and I decided it was better to just not say or admit anything. Ended up taking them home and I think they are still in my old bedroom 30+ years later. Sorry Mrs. B
.
.Maybe 4/5 years old. Took the neighbors milk off their front porch. Went into the bushes by my house and put dirt in it to make chocolate milk. Then forgot all about it.
About lunch time my mom was talking with a friend and I heard them say someone took the milk off the neighbor’s porch. I jumped right in and said, “I know where it’s at”.
The rest is history and one I’ll never forget.
About lunch time my mom was talking with a friend and I heard them say someone took the milk off the neighbor’s porch. I jumped right in and said, “I know where it’s at”.
The rest is history and one I’ll never forget.
Used to grab golf gloves from the place I worked at in High school. They had a bazillion boxes of Wilson Ultra Golf gloves that were nice, but no one wanted them because they wanted Titleist or FootJoy. I just grabbed the Ultra's since they were never going to sell.
Had that happen with a case of beer once. But then fast food places short me fries & extra ketchup repeatedly.
Will Ferrell ELF cutout sign at movie theatre. It had a place in our living room above Two Keys for quite some time. I was part of the party, don't remember who actually took it.... @Ron Mehico ?
I stole a whole ham from the buffet at Ponderosa or Sizzler when I was about 14. I stole a pack of cigarettes when I was 11 or 12. I'm not sure why, I didn't smoke. Nothing else of note I can think of.
Nothing as an adult other than hearts, minds and the sands of time.
Nothing as an adult other than hearts, minds and the sands of time.
That reminds me, I stole a giant Dino cardboard cutout from McDonald's when they had a Flintstone promotion. That was probably middle school-ish.
1. When I was 5 I took a Snickers bar from Kmart and stuck it in my pocket. My dumb *** decided to pull it out and eat it in the backseat on the way home. My mom and dad obviously didn’t remember buying me a Snickers.
They took me back to the store, made me apologize to the manager, paid for the candy bar and then threw it away right in front of me. I got whipped with a belt when I got home.
2. Worked in the meat department of a retail grocery chain in college. We used to basically scan out of date meat with a upc gun and chuck it in the dumpster. 99 percent of steaks were still perfectly edible one day after the sell by date (chicken, ground beef and pork are a different story). So, I used to scan it all and then set aside a couple nice cuts that I wanted to take home and store them in a walk-in cooler. (This was before security labels on meat packages.) At the end of my shift, I’d line the waistband of my pants with steaks and walk out. Took them home and either froze them or cooked one that night. After a few months of doing this several times a week, we had a freezer full of ribeyes, strips and sirloins. One of my roommates worked in the kitchen at O’Charleys and used to jack various sides and appetizers. We ate pretty damn good for broke college kids with our stolen food.
They took me back to the store, made me apologize to the manager, paid for the candy bar and then threw it away right in front of me. I got whipped with a belt when I got home.
2. Worked in the meat department of a retail grocery chain in college. We used to basically scan out of date meat with a upc gun and chuck it in the dumpster. 99 percent of steaks were still perfectly edible one day after the sell by date (chicken, ground beef and pork are a different story). So, I used to scan it all and then set aside a couple nice cuts that I wanted to take home and store them in a walk-in cooler. (This was before security labels on meat packages.) At the end of my shift, I’d line the waistband of my pants with steaks and walk out. Took them home and either froze them or cooked one that night. After a few months of doing this several times a week, we had a freezer full of ribeyes, strips and sirloins. One of my roommates worked in the kitchen at O’Charleys and used to jack various sides and appetizers. We ate pretty damn good for broke college kids with our stolen food.
Similar story when I was 5 or 6. I was able to get my hand inside one of those gumball machines that had little prizes in it. I fished out a piece of kids costume jewelry (gold bracelet with green stones). I gave it to my mom as a gift (I guess I thought it was pretty). She did not appreciate it. Marched me back into the store. I had to apologize to the manager and she gave it back.
Friends were getting married in Lexington while I was still attending UK. They needed help getting a keg to the reception hall.
I drove a cargo van for a furniture store part time. I drove the van, on the clock, to Liquor B*** with a receipt for one keg and four cases of cheap champagne.
Unknown to me or Liquor B***, the friends had already picked up the four cases of champagne. The reception only went through the original four cases. We gave the couple one case. Since champagne wasn't our first choice of drink, my roommate and I didn't finish off the last bottle until the next New Years.
I drove a cargo van for a furniture store part time. I drove the van, on the clock, to Liquor B*** with a receipt for one keg and four cases of cheap champagne.
Unknown to me or Liquor B***, the friends had already picked up the four cases of champagne. The reception only went through the original four cases. We gave the couple one case. Since champagne wasn't our first choice of drink, my roommate and I didn't finish off the last bottle until the next New Years.