Do kids now days not have curfews? My sophomore son went to his first prom tonight. Big argument ensued regarding his curfew. Normally have him in by 12 on weekends but extended to 1:30. I think he is the only kid in the zip code that had to be home before 3:00. He was also invited to several "post" prom parties which were chaperoned by parents and serving beer and alcohol. I guess I am old fashioned but I just can't see myself hosting a kegger for 16-18 yr olds. Am I the Lone Ranger here?
Kids and parenting
- Thread starter mad4osu
- Start date
Furnishing alcohol to minors in Oklahoma is a felony earning parents five years and/or $5,000.
I don't get it either. Parents want to be their kids' friends. My youngest is 24 and I am thrilled.
Kids are resilient and survive a lot of crappy parenting, but it's astonishing how many otherwise educated people have never had a class in child development. Kids leave school without the simplest idea of how to raise kids. Even a general psych class has several chapters that every parent should be required to master before they have kids.
Child development ought to be required in high school AND college.
I don't get it either. Parents want to be their kids' friends. My youngest is 24 and I am thrilled.
Kids are resilient and survive a lot of crappy parenting, but it's astonishing how many otherwise educated people have never had a class in child development. Kids leave school without the simplest idea of how to raise kids. Even a general psych class has several chapters that every parent should be required to master before they have kids.
Child development ought to be required in high school AND college.
I'm not naive enough to think that they aren't going to do it to some extent or another anyway. I just don't buy into the better off at my house theory. If a dad wants to share a beer with his son that's one thing, but to provide a keg for 40 random kids is just ridiculous. Hell, I thought a 1:30 curfew for a 16 yr old was generous. I was wrong. Anyway, my house, my rules.
I agree. I would let my kid stay out probably til two or later if I was communicating with her all night. Like if they were at ihop or something.
Parents who hold those parties obviously don't realize the liability they are taking on. What happens if there's a fight? Someone gets alcohol poisoning? Some chick gets roofied? Someone drives away and kills themselves or someone else?
At some point I will allow my daughters to drink at my house with one friend maybe whose parent is on the same page with me. Here is why. Kids go to college and you know they are going to drink. I don't want my kid getting thrown to the wolves because she didn't understand how dangerous alcohol is and thought it was totally fine because that trash can punch tasted so great!
I want to make sure she knows what can happen and what the consequences are of drinking too much, why you can't drive, why never to get in the car with someone behind the wheel who has been drinking, etc., etc.
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Parents who hold those parties obviously don't realize the liability they are taking on. What happens if there's a fight? Someone gets alcohol poisoning? Some chick gets roofied? Someone drives away and kills themselves or someone else?
At some point I will allow my daughters to drink at my house with one friend maybe whose parent is on the same page with me. Here is why. Kids go to college and you know they are going to drink. I don't want my kid getting thrown to the wolves because she didn't understand how dangerous alcohol is and thought it was totally fine because that trash can punch tasted so great!
I want to make sure she knows what can happen and what the consequences are of drinking too much, why you can't drive, why never to get in the car with someone behind the wheel who has been drinking, etc., etc.
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Shortbus,
I have seriously thought on that same subject with my kiddo (boy) - I'll probably let him belly up to the bar (home bar) and swig away, until he gets good and drunk. (at 18/19 BEFORE he goes off to college) Just so he knows how bad it can be and perhaps let him in on the "secret" that you better control your drinking, or else it will sure as hell control you.
I have seriously thought on that same subject with my kiddo (boy) - I'll probably let him belly up to the bar (home bar) and swig away, until he gets good and drunk. (at 18/19 BEFORE he goes off to college) Just so he knows how bad it can be and perhaps let him in on the "secret" that you better control your drinking, or else it will sure as hell control you.
I remember those days. They are behind us now. The kids did go to post prom parties but they stayed at the home all night. The parents didn't furnish booze but I'm sure someone snuck in a flask. I don't remember anything bad happening.
I'm sorry but they aren't going to be drinking at my house if they are underage. Last will be 21 in November. He says he's tried it but doesn't like it anyway.
I'm sorry but they aren't going to be drinking at my house if they are underage. Last will be 21 in November. He says he's tried it but doesn't like it anyway.
As a reminder along these lines, OSU cops will ticket the "responsible party" if you have underage drinkers at your tailgate. In the south lot, that means the holder of the parking space number. Idk what the procedure is in other areas.
I have 2 teenage (one junior, one sophomore) daughters but this scenario has never come up. I definitely would not be cool with it. I'm a realist and remember my own misspent youth well enough to know kids can and will find booze. However if a parent willingly provided it, I would have words (at least). And no way would I let my kids go to something like that on purpose.
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My daughter is headed to her first prom this year. after the prom, they all go a single party at a rented venue, this year it is @ Main Event, and transportation from the prom to the venue is provided, then from the venue to the High school once it is over. The party is chaperoned, and the kids are locked in and can't leave until 6:00 am .. No alcohol. They've been doing this for several years here, and it seems to work well for keeping the kids sober and off the streets. the kids do volunteer work all year to earn money, which allows them to buy raffle tickets, etc for big $$$ prizes, TV's, game consoles, etc.
The other thing that helps is that the prom is for Seniors and their date only.
The other thing that helps is that the prom is for Seniors and their date only.
In Texas, kids are not allowed to drive after midnight until the age of 17. Now, I realize that the chances of them getting busted for this are low, but we have made it clear to our 16 year old daughter that if she were to get caught, it could result in a suspended license. She went to a school function last week, and asked us to drive her and pick her up because it was expected to end at 11:45 pm, and she did not want to risk being on the road after midnight. So, that solves some of the curfew issue you are referring to.
I do think there is a difference between a 16 and 18 year old. There is no need for a 16 year old to be out past 1:30, but by the age of 18, they should be a bit wiser to the ways of the world, more capable of showing good judgement and less susceptible to peer pressure. Heck, 6 months after prom, they are likely to be away at college and completely out of your control. Might as well trust them. Age 17 can be debated either way, IMO.
As to providing alcohol to kids, or providing a home where they can bring their own, it won't happen at my house, because I don't want to be responsible for something bad happening to one of those kids. I don't get mad when other parents do it, because I trust my daughter to use good judgement and not get herself into a bad situation. As someone stated above, if you shield your kids too much, they might go away to college and not be prepared for the freedom that comes along with getting out from under their parent's roof.
FOLLOW UP
So my son had the go ahead to stay at an approved post prom party until 1:30. At 11:30 he and several other kids showed up at our house to hang out and watch movies. They had gone to the approved party and found out that the parents were actually out of town for the weekend. Long story short. Lots of beer and even some mj. They decided that it would probably be smarter to just go home and hang out. One police bust later and several of the kids at the party are now in some pretty deep shoot. There is a fine line between letting them live a little and making better decisions than I did at that age.
So my son had the go ahead to stay at an approved post prom party until 1:30. At 11:30 he and several other kids showed up at our house to hang out and watch movies. They had gone to the approved party and found out that the parents were actually out of town for the weekend. Long story short. Lots of beer and even some mj. They decided that it would probably be smarter to just go home and hang out. One police bust later and several of the kids at the party are now in some pretty deep shoot. There is a fine line between letting them live a little and making better decisions than I did at that age.
1) your kid and his friends are remarkably wise for their age.
2) I think people call the fuzz a lot quicker than they did back in the day. About one in 20 HS parties with beer and some MJ got busted back then.
Congrats dad! Sounds like you've been doing a pretty good job all these years after all.
I was always ecstatic when I found out my kids did the right thing because a group of kids can sure lose it's mind sometimes.
Be sure to go out of your way to have a cookout or another movie night just for the kids who left the party and came over. Positive reinforcement is invaluable. Punishment for kids this age usually means you were just a little late.
I was always ecstatic when I found out my kids did the right thing because a group of kids can sure lose it's mind sometimes.
Be sure to go out of your way to have a cookout or another movie night just for the kids who left the party and came over. Positive reinforcement is invaluable. Punishment for kids this age usually means you were just a little late.
Communication and trust is key.
My 15 y/o daughter frequently talks to me about what is going on and who is doing what. I trust her fully not to drink or ride with anyone. She's got a great head on her shoulders and is mega responsible and future oriented.
I worry a lot about my 11 year old. If she was any more like me she would be my son. I'm not gonna need to worry about that stuff soon but eventually...
Gipraw that is a great idea for after prom.
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My 15 y/o daughter frequently talks to me about what is going on and who is doing what. I trust her fully not to drink or ride with anyone. She's got a great head on her shoulders and is mega responsible and future oriented.
I worry a lot about my 11 year old. If she was any more like me she would be my son. I'm not gonna need to worry about that stuff soon but eventually...
Gipraw that is a great idea for after prom.
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