*Warning, do not drink this product while walking, jogging, running, or sprinting. Spontaneous tripping may occur. One may feel the sudden urge to act like you've been shot by a .50 BMG while consuming this product. This is normal, and for that reason, you should not operate heavy machinery while drinking this soda. Also, you'll totally cry like a ***** for no reason and look down at everyone else while you also root for the Yankees and Lakers. You may also start turning into a rat-faced little ****. Go **** yourself and buy more of our ****.*