Start a War on a Christmas Song

[funKYcat75]

Since Baby It's Cold Outside is now illegal in all 48 contiguous states, it's time to attack some other songs that I don't want to hear either.

Santa Baby
In this song, a floozy is trying to catch some D from Santa and also get tons of gifts including, but not limited to: a platinum mine, an engagement rings, and money in the form of checks. She claims to have been a 'good girl' all year and shows this by singing "think of all the fellas that I hadn't kissed."

The Argument Against
This song lessens the male of the species, i.e. 'Santa', to no more than a delivery device for money and gifts if, and only if, the female is a good girl all year and doesn't cheat on him. Seems like a pretty bad song, IMO.

 

[Get Buckets]

Song: Wonderful Christmastime
Reason: It’s awful.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

 

[-Mav-]

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town -- Springsteen version (H/T @funKYcat75 on Twitter)

When an older, white, possibly pedophilic, male stalks multiple kids (he sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you're awake), and a celebrity/singer enables him by not only issuing a gravelly-voiced admonition to shut up and go along with it (you better not cry, you better not pout...so be good), BUT HE ALSO MAKES DIRECT THREATS TO THE KIDS (you better watch out...he's gonna find out who's naughty and nice...Santa Claus is coming), at the very least it's safe to say Springsteen is complicit in the potential molestation of countless children.

 

[bluthruandthru]

12 Days of Christmas-

In the end you'd have 364 total gifts from your true love.

"HEY, TRUE LOVE, YOU GONNA HELP FEED, HOUSE AND CLEAN UP AFTER ALL THESE GEESE A LAYIN'?"

 

[Xception]

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

Reason: it’s racist because only whites nose can turn red.

Argument for keeping: grow the touch up and stop looking for race in everything

 

[funKYcat75]

Silent Night
Unfair to deaf persons. All of their nights are silent, so they cannot appreciate it.

 

[Blueisbest]

White Christmas.

A very racist song that preaches that the only good Christmas should be white, like it was back in the day.

 

[ZakkW]

Deck the Halls

Why do they have to don 'gay apparel'? And who is to say what that constitutes? Very offensive

 

[TriangleUKCat]

Diehard Theme Song

Reason: Diehard is not a Christmas movie.

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

“I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas “

Because it’s a gawd awful, horrible, repulsive, inane, ridiculous song. And because once I hear it, it gets stuck in my F’ing head and won’t quit. It’s like a crappy little earworm from hell!

 

[DSmith21]

"I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus"

Not LGBTQ friendly enough. What if someone has two dads or two trans or any combo that doesn't include a traditional mom? Hell Santa might be a-sexual because he only comes once a year and even then its down a chimney.

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

“I Want A Hippopotamus For Christmas “

Because it’s a gawd awful, horrible, repulsive, inane, ridiculous song. And because once I hear it, it gets stuck in my F’ing head and won’t quit. It’s like a crappy little earworm from hell!

My daughter (who sings like an angel of course), sang that song for her school play tryout. She didn't get a good part. Perhaps WildcatfaninOhio is the drama teacher because she freaking crushed it. Shame on you WildcatfaninOhio!

 

[funKYcat75]

Hell Santa might be a-sexual because he only comes once a year and even then its down a chimney.

That’s funny right there. I don’t care who you are.

 

[KopiKat]

lol . . . Interesting topic, actually:

What Child Is This

Originally, and even today in some circles, better known as "Greensleeves" or perhaps "Lady Greensleeves". Goes back to the 16th century. Some evidence to suggest either written or commissioned for writing by the good King Henry the VIII himself as an expression to his, at the time, lover Anne Boelyn. Several variations to the beautiful, haunting melody until the Christmas piece we now know.

Greensleeves at the time meaning a reference to form ofof sexual promiscuity, if not even prostitution, for the act of a "lady" taking pleasures with a man outdoors. Grass stained garments and such. Certain women in the day may have chosen green clothing, when such forms of dye became common and cost effective, in attempt to mask the evidence associated with their behavior or profession.

Wiki link provides some info.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greensleeves

 

[OldEvilleCat]

taking pleasures with a man outdoors. Grass stained garments and such.

Wow...I always wondered how Mr. Green Jeans, from Captain Kangaroo, got his name. Who knew? Learn sumthin' every day

 

[BlueRaider22]

I love the song. I love the band. But you know someone will be offended.

 

[Rebelfreedomeagle]

Winter Wonderland. There's technically nothing wrong with it but every other version reminds me of what these two fart bags did to it.

 

[Phil_The_Music2]

Little Drummer Boy:

The song is assuming his/her gender and should give him/her the chance to announce what gender it is. Very transphobic.

 

[Kooky Kats]

I’ll Be Homo For Christmas

Was the first real ‘coming-out’ song about a young lad who was going off to War and was announcing his sexual preference at his family’s Christmas dinner, prior to deployment.

The US government used the War Powers Act to change lyrics deeming them as subversive to the victory effort.

 

[OldEvilleCat]

This song, FROSTY the COCAINEMAN, should never be played!

Frosty the Snowman
Was a jolly happy soul (implies on drugs, specifically cocaine, and only losers do drugs - very offensive)

Frosty the Snowman
Made the children laugh and play
And were they surprised when
Before their eyes
He came to life that day (GAVE hallucinogenic drugs to children...)

There must have been some magic (magic...as in cocaine)
In that old silk hat they found

Frosty the Snowman
Was alive as he could be
And the children say
He could laugh and play
Just the same as you and me (Sure...everything is alive when you're effed up on coke)

You get the idea...BAN FROSTY!

 

[TortElvisII]

Would a man that wears this ever declare a war on a Christmas Song....I think not.

 

[UKGrad93]

 

[PFJ_Reg]

"Mele Kalikimaka" - cultural appropriation

"Feliz Navidad" - cultural appropriation

"Frosty the Snowman" - no pants (indecent exposure); eyes of coal (climate change); corncob pipe (tobacco use); laughing and playing with kids (pedo); only paused a moment when told to stop (traffic violation)

"O Little Town of Bethlehem" - Zionist

"Christmas in Hollis" - racist

"Soulful Christmas" - racist

"Back Door Santa" -

"O Come All Ye Faithful" - faithful-centric

"God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen" - misogynistic; Judeo-Christian-centric

"Let It Snow" - Northern-Hemisphere-centric

"Mistletoe and Holly" - misogynistic

"Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" - misogynistic

"There's No Place Like Home For The Holidays" - provincialism

"Do You Hear What I Hear" - offensive to the hearing-impaired

"Silver and Gold" - classism; capitalistic

"Silver Bells" - classism; capitalistic

 

[Phil_The_Music2]

We Wish you a Merry Christmas:

"We won't go until we get some"

Sounds rapey.

 

[BlueVelvetFog]

“Baby it’s cold outside”
- cold weather can EAD

 

[Supercat67]

I knew this would be a GREAT thread !:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

 

[Ryan Lemonds Hair]

Grandma got run over by a reindeer because who wants to see a poor granny splattered all over the road?

 

[Rebelfreedomeagle]

This thread has inspired me to start the internet rumor that the inspiration for the movie Slingblade was taken from the song "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus".

 

[buckethead1978]

Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer is actually offensive.

Elder abuse
Victim blaming
Disrespect for the sanctity of life

 

[rick64]