Stupid stuff on the Plane

[Free_Salato_Blue]

Flew back from St. Pete/Clearwater.

Kid across the isle thought it was fun to push the assistance button and let it buzz annoyingly.
Parent would just sit there and say , NO, Stop it. over and over while the kid ignores him.

Then some other kids, maybe the same family. Got out their seats and hung out at the Exit door.
One them took an interest into the shiny door handle and began to pull on it at 30,000 feet.

If was my parents there would be a major whooping.

So, what's the stupidest or most annoying things you've seen on a flight?

Hope everyone is safe travelling this holiday.

 

[AustinTXCat]

<---- Yours truly.

Flight from Frankfurt, Germany to DFW in 1996 on American Airlines. Drank vodka-grapefruit like a fool until the flight attendant shut me off. Old gal warned me not to drink any more. Got so wild that fellow passengers in other aisles yelled at me to STFU. Some German dudes hooked me up with a 12 oz cup of Wild Turkey.

Flight attendant came after me to take my drink from me. Nope, no way, so I slammed that 12 oz cup.

Awakened 5 hours later on a stretcher at DFW with an IV in my arm. Head hurt like crazy. Looked up and said, "Holy s--t! We crashed! I knew it. No wonder my damn head hurts so much." The attending medic said, "no, dumbass, you may have alcohol poisoning".

Clearing US Customs was fun, too, especially after I barfed in their trash can. Ah, the good old days.

 

[jedwar]

Loaded and about to depart Honolulu, a drunk guy causes a scene. Cussing the attendants etc. So we sit there until a pilot comes back and guy finally shuts up. Surprised he wasn't taken off. This went on for quite a while.

 

[UKserialkiller]

Coming back from Malaysia an Indian guy sat beside me. Smelled like he had evaded soap and water his whole life. Nearly made me sick. Made one of those flight attendants move me to another seat. Jesus Christ did that guy stink

 

[slick rick.ksr]

On a Delta flight to Atlanta from Providence a black kid crapped in his pants all over his seat next to me as we were landing

 

[MrLair]

SAT next to sum smuck named Striker on a plane. Whined about his girlfriend leaving him, the war, and how he couldn't land the plane.

 

[slick rick.ksr]

SAT next to sum smuck named Striker on a plane. Whined about his girlfriend leaving him, the war, and how he couldn't land the plane.

LMAO

That you, Shirley?

 

[Kooky Kats]

Coming back from Malaysia an Indian guy sat beside me. Smelled like he had evaded soap and water his whole life. Nearly made me sick. Made one of those flight attendants move me to another seat. Jesus Christ did that guy stink

Sounds like my bi-daily bus/subway commute.

 

[catsfanbgky]

On a Delta flight to Atlanta from Providence a black kid crapped in his pants all over his seat next to me as we were landing

Could have been a lot worse. He could have **** his pants upon takeoff and not during landing. So be thankful.

 

[jtrue28]

Couple of years ago on flight back from Disney. This flight was ATL - LEX. About 45 minutes into the flight everyone started smelling ****. This is after the flight had started to descend, so no one was allowed to get up. We finally noticed that 3-4 rows in front of us, some asshat was changing her infant's diaper. Using the tray table no less. Needless to say, ALWAYS disinfect the tray table before doing anything with it. We emailed Delta...they "apologized" and gave us some miles. [eyeroll][sick]:flush:

 

[BlueVelvetFog]

Couple of years ago on flight back from Disney. This flight was ATL - LEX. About 45 minutes into the flight everyone started smelling ****. This is after the flight had started to descend, so no one was allowed to get up. We finally noticed that 3-4 rows in front of us, some asshat was changing her infant's diaper. Using the tray table no less. Needless to say, ALWAYS disinfect the tray table before doing anything with it. We emailed Delta...they "apologized" and gave us some miles. [eyeroll][sick]:flush:

Why did you email Delta? Wasn't it a passenger changing her baby? I would have just hit that lady over the head with a mace ball

 

[Spanish Radio]

Taking off from Amsterdam headed to Bangalore India and the guy two rows up and to the right of me takes off both shoes and pulls off both socks. He then proceeds to pull down several times on each sock and I can see the sock fuzz fly into the air when he opens his hand. Everybody gets to breathe his sock fuzz for the next 12 hours

 

[RacerX.ksr]

This one time I flew in from Vegas, boy were my arms tired.

 

[starchief]

Sounds like my bi-daily bus/subway commute.

You can spend hours on Youtube watching NYC bus/subway shenanigans. Props to you if you have to do that daily.

 

[starchief]

<---- Yours truly.

Flight from Frankfurt, Germany to DFW in 1996 on American Airlines. Drank vodka-grapefruit like a fool until the flight attendant shut me off. Old gal warned me not to drink any more. Got so wild that fellow passengers in other aisles yelled at me to STFU. Some German dudes hooked me up with a 12 oz cup of Wild Turkey.

Flight attendant came after me to take my drink from me. Nope, no way, so I slammed that 12 oz cup.

Awakened 5 hours later on a stretcher at DFW with an IV in my arm. Head hurt like crazy. Looked up and said, "Holy s--t! We crashed! I knew it. No wonder my damn head hurts so much." The attending medic said, "no, dumbass, you may have alcohol poisoning".

Clearing US Customs was fun, too, especially after I barfed in their trash can. Ah, the good old days.

How much did that episode end up costing you?

 

[LordEgg_rivals16573]

Ate sushi in Mexico. This is wa s before my brain transplant. Puked endlessly. Puked
At airport in Cancun. Puked on plane over Cuba. Puked in customs in miami. While in customs part two kicked In and this lady left the single unisex bathroom in customs. I rushed in and began spraying diarrhea all over creation. When my vision returned I noted that not only had I failed to lock the door but she'd left a package in the bathroom. She knocked and I replied. She apologized and said she had to reach in and got it. I warned her. She did not heed. The smell caused her to start gagging. I'm spread out about half laid out on the toilet - dick and nuts fully exposed. She looked up and I said "ma'am I hope that's of considerable value". She left and and started talking about me just outside the door. The best part was finally getting hosed off and walking through customs looking like a zombie with sweat pouring off me and them passing me through like i was fine. It was then I decided we probably needed better scanning of visitors and travelers at customs.

 

[P.PattersonISwalkingthruthatdoor]

Whenever I'm sitting in the concourse waiting to board, I instinctively scope out anybody with a BMI >35 and start getting angrier and angrier at the idea of them spilling over my armrest.

I'd much rather be sitting in front of a screaming infant for 4 hours rather than beside a gigantic fatass. There are some annoyances that even Bose cannot attenuate.

 

[Zakk Wyldcat]

In general, the fools who have to be told not to loiter at the front of plane while waiting to go into the restroom. Happens on every flight.

Personally, having to squeeze into the middle seat between two large Marges on Louisville to Phoenix flight.

 

[AustinTXCat]

How much did that episode end up costing you?

[laughing]

Free. I lucked out. DFW airport medics apparently wrote it off. Got a phone call from an American Airlines VP later recommending that I conduct myself in a more civilized manner during international flights. I flew Condor and United for years thereafter.

 

[UKGrad93]

In general, the fools who have to be told not to loiter at the front of plane while waiting to go into the restroom. Happens on every flight.

Personally, having to squeeze into the middle seat between two large Marges on Louisville to Phoenix flight.

I'll add the 40-50 yo women & their teenage daughters that board the plane with giant bags and purses that are clearly over the size limit.

 

[allabouttheUK]

Spring 2003 Itinerary reads like this:

Depart CTA 0640
Depart FCO 1030
Depart LGA who the hell remembers
Arrive at LEX late afternoon

Get to Catania and the damn fog is so thick you can barely see the plane sitting at the ramp, needless to say all flights delayed. After waiting about an hour and a half we board the plane and begin the push back from the gate (fog hasn't moved at all). We get to Rome and barely made our connecting flight back to the states. We get settled in and I'm flipping between some movie and the flight tracker. We get just over the tip of Iceland when the plane begins to make a turn. Turns out some lady in first class had a heart attack and we had to head back to Shannon, Ireland. So we sit on the plane for 2-3 hours before taking off again. By the time we got to LGA, everything was closed and we missed our connecting flight LEX of course.
Next morning we catch a flight from LGA to CVG to SDF...about five jackasses on the pencil plane to SDF were drunk as hell (going to the races). That made for a very loud and long 30 minute flight.
By the time we got home we were both zombies and never wanted to travel back to the states again! Miserable experience.

 

[DSmith21]

Flew back from Athens shortly after 9/11 on a Greek airline. Was flying business class thanks to a bunch of miles that I had. An old Greek man starts raising a ruckus because he can't get free booze back in cattle class. He started pushing one of the crew and demanding booze very loudly. A couple of minutes later several male crew members have him tackled to the floor and a stewardess who looked like nurse Ratchet (from Cuckoo's Nest) coming forward with this plastic gun looking thing. Turns out that its a syringe gun with a bunch of tranquilizer. They shot him up and then tied him to a chair with a gag in his mouth for the rest of the 10 hour flight. Take that Zorba.

 

[jwheat]

Those Greeks sure do know how to have a good time

 

[allabouttheUK]

How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

Spoiler: Answer

With a crowbar

 

[ky8335]

 

[BlueVelvetFog]

If there was ever an appropriate venue for fat shaming, the onboarding process is ripe for it

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

Had a guy in front of me on a flight from SDF to MDW freak out before take off -> got so scared they had to return to the gate and let him off.

In April, a hipster couple were slamming mini-bottles before take off on a flight from IAH to CHS. Flight attendant told them to stop immediately. Old boy pulled out a fresh bottle and downed it in front of her. We went back to the gate and cops came in to escourt then off. Almost fortunately for them, we then suffered severe wake turbulence at take off and almost crashed.

 

[JDHoss]

Whenever I'm sitting in the concourse waiting to board, I instinctively scope out anybody with a BMI >35 and start getting angrier and angrier at the idea of them spilling over my armrest.

I'd much rather be sitting in front of a screaming infant for 4 hours rather than beside a gigantic fatass. There are some annoyances that even Bose cannot attenuate.

How about 3 screaming infants? On a short US Air flight from Atlanta to Tri Cities, there was a couple with triplets that started caterwauling at takeoff and were still going strong when we landed 40 minutes later. I'm thankful it was a short flight, but I don't see how the Hell kids can cry at that pitch that long without interruption.

 

[UKserialkiller]

Whenever I'm sitting in the concourse waiting to board, I instinctively scope out anybody with a BMI >35 and start getting angrier and angrier at the idea of them spilling over my armrest.

I'd much rather be sitting in front of a screaming infant for 4 hours rather than beside a gigantic fatass. There are some annoyances that even Bose cannot attenuate.

Gimme the fattie. I hate babies