The toilet seat revolution is coming - do your part

funKYcat75

Heisman
Apr 10, 2008
32,274
40,661
112
Since most of us were assigned male at birth and a majority of those are still identifying as male, most of us have undoubtedly had a conversation with a female about how the toilet seat should be left after completing one's business. Friends, I am here to say that the default setting for a toilet seat should indeed be 'UP'.

My rationale:

1. Why would a person not want to touch the seat? Because it might have been urinated upon. If the seat is in the up position, it would be damn near impossible to pee on said seat from a male perspective. Only the strangest of fellows would go out of their way to have this happen. Since there will no longer be even the slightest bit of liquid waste on the seat, both men and women should feel free to raise and lower the seat as needed, as long as it is returned to the default.

2. Womyn have had the luxury of men kowtowing to their every whim long enough. It is time that males have the convenience of using the restroom and not having to raise a seat just for the convenience of women.

3. This will also stop the drunks, imbeciles, and various other lowlifes from peeing all over the seat when it is needed for number 2.

4. It would be extremely simple to attach a spring loaded system to return the seat to 'UP' after one has used it for sitting.

Who is with me?!!!!!

For hoverers and other fecophiliacs, this strategy is null and void. They're just gonna make a mess.
 
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Ron Mehico

Heisman
Jan 4, 2008
15,473
33,054
0
We’re building a house and we have to make toilet selections in a couple weeks and I’m agonizing over bidet/no bidet. The options on some of these new ones are bewildering. What do I do?!
 
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bigsmoothie

All-American
Sep 7, 2004
11,161
8,850
0
We’re building a house and we have to make toilet selections in a couple weeks and I’m agonizing over bidet/no bidet. The options on some of these new ones are bewildering. What do I do?!
If you need a stream of water to clean yourself maybe think about your diet.
 
May 22, 2002
18,252
15,522
113
I’ve already lost this battle with my SO. Even after I told her that I was conditioned to always leave the seat “at attention” from when I went through USAF basic training. She’s just not giving in on this one. So, in order to keep the peace, and to regularly get a piece, …..
 
A

anon_ubgnslarxbirn

Guest
@Mossip

I go with a mix of TP & a good wet wipe. Dollar Shave Club: One Wipe Charlies are top notch.

I would like to install one of those pig trough style pissing stations in my house some day.
 

MegaBlue05

Heisman
Mar 8, 2014
10,041
18,842
0
I’ve been on the losing end of this for years.

I just close the lid when I’m done. I didn’t leave the seat up. I technically left it down, just covered.
 

bigsmoothie

All-American
Sep 7, 2004
11,161
8,850
0
I think most women, my wife included, doesn’t like to touch the seat at all. They just want to sit, do work, stand, and go.
 

roguemocha

All-American
Jan 30, 2007
12,943
6,587
0
We’re building a house and we have to make toilet selections in a couple weeks and I’m agonizing over bidet/no bidet. The options on some of these new ones are bewildering. What do I do?!
Bidet all day every day. Otherwise you’re the same heathen wiping with paper like they were 200 years ago. That’s disgusting.

If you got poop anywhere else on your body simply wiping it with dry paper would be in no way an acceptable cleaning proposal.
 

UKGrad93

Heisman
Jun 20, 2007
17,437
22,789
0
Since most of us were assigned male at birth and a majority of those are still identifying as male, most of us have undoubtedly had a conversation with a female about how the toilet seat should be left after completing one's business. Friends, I am here to say that the default setting for a toilet seat should indeed be 'UP'.

My rationale:

1. Why would a person not want to touch the seat? Because it might have been urinated upon. If the seat is in the up position, it would be damn near impossible to pee on said seat from a male perspective. Only the strangest of fellows would go out of their way to have this happen. Since there will no longer be even the slightest bit of liquid waste on the seat, both men and women should feel free to raise and lower the seat as needed, as long as it is returned to the default.

2. Womyn have had the luxury of men kowtowing to their every whim long enough. It is time that males have the convenience of using the restroom and not having to raise a seat just for the convenience of women.

3. This will also stop the drunks, imbeciles, and various other lowlifes from peeing all over the seat when it is needed for number 2.

4. It would be extremely simple to attach a spring loaded system to return the seat to 'UP' after one has used it for sitting.

Who is with me?!!!!!

For hoverers and other fecophiliacs, this strategy is null and void. They're just gonna make a mess.
5. No more flipping up a toilet seat that is splattered underneath with ****.
 

SmedMoley

All-American
Nov 14, 2020
3,690
7,957
0
They have bidet toilet seats on Amazon that aren't terrible. It will give you a good idea as to if you want to spend the money on a real one.




Go ahead and get the bidet. You'll thank us.
 
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anon_ubgnslarxbirn

Guest
Pro Tip: If u can’t afford a bidet then just gently shove yer removable shower head up yer butthole
 

CB3UK

Hall of Famer
Apr 15, 2012
62,654
102,918
78
I pay the bills. I'll leave the toilet seat however the **** I feel like it. Haven't heard any argument from her yet
 

LineSkiCat14

Heisman
Aug 5, 2015
37,311
57,157
113
I've said this before and I'm not ashamed to admit it:

I hate touching a toilet seat. I'd rather just leave the seat down at all times and if I drip a little, I wipe it off. In my mind, a butt touching some urine is far more sanitary/less disgusting than touching the seat with your hands. And you should be able to see if there's urine on a seat before you sit on it anyways. If there is, do what everyone else does and just wipe it with a wad of TP.

I'll take my 7-day ban now.
 

RMP82

All-Conference
Jul 5, 2001
15,135
4,243
113
I have a bidet attachment that I ordered on Amazon. It's a game changer and it's even cold water. The lowest setting is the way to go. I couldn't imagine using setting 2 or God forbid 10. That bastard shoots a legit 20 feet.

Bidet