Things I've learned watching "Cops"

starchief

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I've been binge-watching "Cops" on YouTube for several days (no commercials). Here are a few things I have learned. Add yours.

1. There are a lot of people who secretly stash their drugs in other people's cars. ("Those drugs are not MINE! I don't know who put them in there, but THEY ARE NOT MINE!") People also stash their drugs in other people's pockets and purses. It's epidemic.

2 A brother is gonna bail. ("Why'd you run? "I was scared.") Never "I wanted to get away."

3 Drugs and booze make people do and say incredibly stupid things.
I'll bet half or more of the addicts shown on there are dead by now.

4 Cops watch drug houses and pull a lot of cars over when visitors leave.

5 Cops will find a reason to pull you over if they want to check you out.

6 Cops catch a lot of scofflaws and criminals because of those "traffic stops"

7 75% of people on the highway have one or more outstanding warrants.

8 A lot of people borrow their friend's (uh, I don't know his name) car but have no idea his friend stole it. ("I didn't know it was stolen,")

9 Cops are more likely to believe you when you add, "I swear to God I didn't do it."

10 Nobody has ever had more to drink than "a couple of beers." a few hours ago.

11 Nobody has ever done anything. "Why are you arresting me? I haven't done anything!" Or, "I ain't do nuffin."

12 "Can't you just let me go?" is usually ineffective.
 
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mdlUK.1

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Also, it's not easy for even multiple cops to subdue someone willing to fight. Even a small woman.
 

YourPublicEnemy

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I love Cops. I watched some segments on Saturday and got a good laugh. I'm amazed at how many people don't know the real name of the person that loaned them the car. "I dunno know his name. We just call him Skittles."

The drugs are never their drugs. It's always someone else's. But my favorite is watching them run and then when they get caught and slammed, they say "I didn't do anything."

Criminals are stupid. They get mad about being profiled but even to a normal person it's obvious when someone is trouble. Oh, you have three or four grown men in a shoddy 1993 Chevette late at night in a bad area? Nothing going on here.


 
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starchief

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I just remembered the dude with a large bag of weed in his underpants. He swore it wasn't his, he didn't know it was down there and he had no idea who it could have put it there.
 
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roguemocha

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If a cop sees a white guy in a pink Floyd shirt in the 80s or 90s he will arrest you.
 

BBdK

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I just remembered the dude with a large bag of weed in his underpants. He swore it wasn't his, he didn't know it was down there and he had no idea who it could have put it there.


Umm, that's 90% of them.
 
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I've always loved COPS. Criminals are just idiots. A lot of the COPS try to cut some of them some slack, but they will lie, lie, lie, lie. It's awesome.

One of my favorites was when they arrested a drug dealer. Lots of drugs packaged for sale in the car, lots of cash. The cop for the camera was putting the bills in denominational stacks and said "He has a lot of the typical denominations used by drug dealers...ones, fives, tens, twenties, and so on." :joy:

I also love how since the cameras are rolling, the conversations between the cops and the sergeants/captains are very professional. "I saw the male subject leaving the premises, and heading southeast on Main Street. He disregarded my orders to halt, so I had to employ a non-lethal taser to subdue him. I'm charging him with a number of misdemeanors and felony eluding."

I'd love to hear it without the camera, "I saw the dumb**** take off running. I told the mother****** to stop, but the ****ing idiot wouldn't, so I tased his skinny ***. ****er fell to the ground like he got zapped by lighting. Hahaha. I'm gonna charge him with everything I can think of because I just ate and didn't feel like running."
 

YourPublicEnemy

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I present to you my favorite Cops clip



I love that criminals think because they're dumb that everyone else must be dumb as well. You could tell she didn't think it through by calling the cops on her bad drug deal.

Also, if you're still wearing a "Martin" shirt, I'm pretty sure you're both on crack and a prostitute.