Tuesdays with Torbee

The worst hangover I ever had was on a guy’s fishing trip to Lake of the Woods in Canada at least 20 years ago, maybe longer.

The night started out innocently enough — a couple Labatt Blues after dinner with some friendly Canucks at the lodge bar. A couple beers turned into some shots of north woods whiskey, which led to a pool-playing challenge, which led to more beers, which turned into more shots . . . you get the drift.

Sometime after midnight, I remember standing on the end of a pier with the Milky Way spinning way too fast around my head and then stumbling my way — wary of bear attack — back to our cabin.
Somehow the next morning — nauseous, head pounding, mouth dry — I managed to get into the guide boat for a bumpy, damp, and miserable hour-long ride to a bay full of walleye. Yet I was too green around the gills and my cranium too throbbing to put a line in the water.

I did rally after shore lunch. Even managed to catch a big lake trout.

All this is to say what I saw the first three quarters inside Kinnick Stadium this past Saturday looked all too familiar. I know a nasty hangover when I see one.

Whiffed blocks. Tentative tackling. Overthrown balls. Underthrown balls. Against a Michigan State team that was winless in the Big 10 but surprisingly scrappy, it often felt like Iowa was sleepwalking through the first three quarters of the game — other than the apparently teetotaling Kaden Wetjen.

It’s hard to blame them. Four heartbreaking losses by the narrowest of margins, rendering preseason goals like a Big 10 championship or College Football Playoff run dead and buried, certainly took some wind out of Hawkeye sails. Even the usually spirited Kinnick crowd was lackluster, with pockets of empty seats scattered around the facility.

Still, for Big 10 diehards, the game had some appeal. The Hawkeyes and Spartans have grudging respect and some fun history in their rivalry: the Chuck Long bootleg, “Seven got six,” the fourth-down stop that wasn’t in the Big 10 championship game.

The game played out like an old-school Big 10 November grinder. Iowa led 7–3 at halftime despite throwing for less than 50 yards. In fact, Iowa passed a mere 10 times and ran it 12 in a disjointed first half that saw several long review delays, quarterback quick-kicks, many hard hits, and a lot of very bad offense. Again, only Wetjen’s two magical returns — one for a touchdown and the slim lead — sparked any life in the crowd.

When Iowa’s hangover got worse in the second half — highlighted by a terrible interception and later a blown coverage setting up a touchdown and 10-point lead for the Spartans — the grumbles, boos, and bailouts started in earnest. Fans, too, it seemed, were feeling Sunday morning coming down.

Thankfully, much like me rising from the gravel beach on some deserted island after some fried walleye, bacon, and beans and a fresh beer two decades ago, the Hawkeyes rallied.

It was like a reversal of the recent loss to USC, with Iowa finally coming alive in the fourth quarter, putting up a field goal and long-awaited offensive touchdown while throttling back the Michigan State offense.

I don’t always cast shade on those who bail out of games early, but I do think the ones who fled last Saturday should have known better. While frustrating and inconsistent at times, one thing the 2025 Hawkeyes are not is quitters. I wish the same could be said for a portion of the fanbase.

If you are someone who believes moral victories don’t exist — like me — you are also contractually obligated to believe there is no such thing as an ugly win. And there was absolutely nothing ugly about Drew Stevens’s 44-yard game-winning field goal splitting the uprights and saving the day.

Next up is Nebraska, and I expect we’ll get a fully functioning, bright-eyed, and ready Iowa team, not the emotionally vulnerable crew that barely survived Senior Day. The big prizes are off the table, but a third trophy-game victory and a nice warm bowl destination are more than a mere consolation prize.

Follow me on BlueSky @torybrecht.bsky.social and tune in to the 12 Saturdays podcast on all platforms.