Adults that rely on their parents for money

[KingOfBBN]

I bet many of you either have a sibling that does this or know someone who constantly goes to their parents for money troubles. I have a brother like this and I encounter adults that are in their 30s-50s, getting their parents to come pay their BS.

My wife's cousin is like this as well. They make dumb decisions and always need mommy and daddy to come fix their mistakes. I could understand getting in a bind once and humbly asking parents for help and then paying them back but it seems they always abuse it and just expect someone else to pay for their mistakes.

What grown man asks their parents to pay their mortgage? Seriously, I've seen that.

 

[TriangleUKCat]

Not sure why you did all of that stuff and then posted about it, but, you know, floats a boat or whatever.

 

[MegaBlue05]

I have a friend who got his mommy to wipe out $22K in credit card debt.

I once asked my folks to help me with $2000 in credit card debt when I was 20. Dad told me to "get a better job."

 

[KingOfBBN]

Not quite but if you felt like making jokes then I hope that helped you.

I just think it's pretty sad to see people never grow up and take advantage of their parents. Giving money to people who cannot handle money is just like throwing it in the trash. My brother is nearly 40 and still goes to our dad for money. That's pretty ridiculous.

 

[KingOfBBN]

I have a friend who got his mommy to wipe out $22K in credit card debt.

I once asked my folks to help me with $2000 in credit card debt when I was 20. Dad told me to "get a better job."

Rightfully so. Everyone else has to face the consequences for their decisions. Tough love works though, I suppose.

My wife's cousin who's our age, could barely afford his mortgage at the time and his genius idea instead of getting a second job or trying to get a better job, was to buy a four wheeler and a truck.

I believe he lost most of those already but his parents constantly bailed him out before that.

 

[DaBossIsBack]

Not quite but if you felt like making jokes then I hope that helped you.

I just think it's pretty sad to see people never grow up and take advantage of their parents. Giving money to people who cannot handle money is just like throwing it in the trash. My brother is nearly 40 and still goes to our dad for money. That's pretty ridiculous.

If the parents are willing to bail them out every time then they're the problem.

 

[rmattox]

Work with a lady whose daughter needs $ all the time. Co-worker fears that if she doesn't help, grandkid will go hungry. Daughter threatens not to allow her to see her grandson. She's being held $ hostage.

 

[MegaBlue05]

Rightfully so. Everyone else has to face the consequences for their decisions. Tough love works though, I suppose.

My wife's cousin who's our age, could barely afford his mortgage at the time and his genius idea instead of getting a second job or trying to get a better job, was to buy a four wheeler and a truck.

I believe he lost most of those already but his parents constantly bailed him out before that.

I believe we call that "hood rich" or "redneck rich" - have cool **** but can't pay for it and it eventually goes back to the bank.

The first lesson I learned about money was don't spend more than you make. If it means going without something that isn't food/water/shelter/electricity, so be it.

 

[KingOfBBN]

If the parents are willing to bail them out every time then they're the problem.

Absolutely. I guess it's that emotional connection to your children and opportunists pounce on it.

 

[DaBossIsBack]

Absolutely. I guess it's that emotional connection to your children and opportunists pounce on it.

Definitely. It's a two way street though. More than likely the parents spent too much money on them while they were growing up. The kind of parents that buy a toy for their kid just to shut them up.

 

[MegaBlue05]

Slight spinoff: Is anyone else completely against asking their parents for money even if it's a dire emergency?

That's how I am.

I know my parents have the money. I know my parents would give me the money. But I'm too proud/independent to ask in the rare occasion where I might actually need some immediate help with something like a major car/home repair.

 

[Elbridge]

One of the most important things to learn in life is fiscal responsibility, yet so few are taught it. Of all the crap they teach in high school, this would be one of the best lessons learned and have such a positive impact if followed. But it's not even part of the curriculum. Explains why most people are broke and live paycheck to paycheck.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Definitely. It's a two way street though. More than likely the parents spent too much money on them while they were growing up. The kind of parents that buy a toy for their kid just to shut them up.

I think with my father's situation, he and my brother's mom divorced when he was little and we only had him on the weekends and I think my dad feels guilty about that or something. That's all I can think of.

I have too much pride to ask for money. It's humiliating.

 

[UKserialkiller]

If I had a rich family I'd been dead at 12 from crack cocaine.

 

[KingOfBBN]

If I had a rich family I'd been dead at 12 from crack cocaine.

So you'd essentially be like a young

On an unrelated note, I used to be friends with this kid whose dad worked as a set designer in Hollywood and my buddy used to follow his dad to the sets and befriend these people. He worked on Seaquest (he hung out with Jonathan Brandis),Steel Magnolias and Blank Check, I believe.

Anyways, my buddy used to be good friends with that little kid from Blank Check and do drugs with him and hang out over his house. Because the kid was the money maker in that house, he used to boss his mom around like crazy. The guy told me a story one time of him being over there and telling his mom to "STFU and get me a sandwich and get out of here" or something like that.

I imagine that's common in that environment.

 

[We-Todd-Did]

Absolutely. I guess it's that emotional connection to your children and opportunists pounce on it.

I met a woman once who worked for a collection agency and was considered to be the best of the best at it, so, a top notch scumbag. The thing she told me that I remember best was that, if a debtor was young, she looked for grandparents first and parents second. Grandparents were always ready to help keep a little deadbeat out of trouble but the parents were kind of iffy. She said that many times she had parents say enough was enough and help her locate the kid to teach them a lesson. Everybody's got a limit I guess.

 

[JumperJack]

Work with a lady whose daughter needs $ all the time. Co-worker fears that if she doesn't help, grandkid will go hungry. Daughter threatens not to allow her to see her grandson. She's being held $ hostage.

Similar story. A woman who works for me has three jobs. I found this out when I called her in for being late. She has a son in law and daughter who have moved in and refuse to leave. When she told him to get a job and pay rent he told her he doesn't take orders from a woman.

The clincher of course is that kicking them out means kicking out the grandchild. Pretty pitiful.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Work with a lady whose daughter needs $ all the time. Co-worker fears that if she doesn't help, grandkid will go hungry. Daughter threatens not to allow her to see her grandson. She's being held $ hostage.

That is messed up.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Similar story. A woman who works for me has three jobs. I found this out when I called her in for being late. She has a son in law and daughter who have moved in and refuse to leave. When she told him to get a job and pay rent he told her he doesn't take orders from a woman.

The clincher of course is that kicking them out means kicking out the grandchild. Pretty pitiful.

Sad story. It makes you absolutely detest people hearing stuff like this. I'm amazed at the pieces of **** who walk among us.

 

[krazykats]

Not sure what the point is to this? Is it to point out the "kids" are not self reliant? Or that the parents are enabling them?

My dad signed for me to get my first house when I was 24 and he never had to pay a penny. My M-I-L helped my wife get her first financed car and also hasn't paid a penny.

Parents awaiting kids who take care of their business but need help is not a bad thing. I hope to be able to do the same for my kids. I don't really see a problem with it honestly.

 

[KingOfBBN]

Not sure what the point is to this? Is it to point out the "kids" are not self reliant? Or that the parents are enabling them?

My dad signed for me to get my first house when I was 24 and he never had to pay a penny. My M-I-L helped my wife get her first financed car and also hasn't paid a penny.

Parents awaiting kids who take care of their business but need help is not a bad thing. I hope to be able to do the same for my kids. I don't really see a problem with it honestly.

That's quite a bit different than a 30-50-year olds who constantly needs help and makes terrible decisions all the time.

 

[dgtatu01]

Slight spinoff: Is anyone else completely against asking their parents for money even if it's a dire emergency?

That's how I am.

I know my parents have the money. I know my parents would give me the money. But I'm too proud/independent to ask in the rare occasion where I might actually need some immediate help with something like a major car/home repair.

My parents helped me out a lot when I was young. Paid for college, and they gave me a down payment for my first house when my wife and I got married. Because of this at 35, we have very nice retirement savings, no car debt, and plenty to get by on in an emergency. We also pay cash for all large purchases and only use a credit card when we travel and for work stuff that will get reimbursed. I guess the point is, due to some help when I was in my 20's we don't need help in our 30's. I know I am very fortunate, but I don't think I am spoiled.

 

[shockdaddy19]

Between my wife's sister and my wife's ex-husband, I deal with this on almost a weekly basis. The two people are on complete opposite ends of the spectrum but regardless, no matter how it plays out, I always wind up paying for something I shouldn't have to.

So basically, I'm the parent to both of them.

 

[starchief]

I have made it to great-grandfather status and am within reach of attaining great-great-grandfather status. I have two daughters, both of whom ended up being lousy parents. They rejected everything we ever taught them about life and made just about every wrong decision they could ever make (mostly in marrying a string of bums) - and have suffered the consequences. "Screw them - let them live on the streets!" That's what you say you will do when it is not your kid.

You may even do that if your child is a son (but you probably won't). But when that child is a daughter, with a couple of your toddler grandchildren with her, whatcha gonna do then? Make your grandchildren suffer in order to teach her a lesson? Nah, you aren't going to do that. You are going to pay up to try to save your grandchildren! My wife and I became practically surrogate parents to our grandchildren.

And, guess what, all my grandchildren are in their mid-twenties now and are responsible adults. They learned from the stupidity of their parents, having seen the suffering that produced, and from the lessons we were able to teach them. Good people who pay their own way (with a little help from us in getting started). They got zero help from their parents.They are the joy of our old age.

Many posters here seem to be in their thirties and have cute little kids that bring you only joy. So were mine. It's so easy to believe that you are going to avoid the chaos that others go through (and pronounce judgment on others who fail) because you are doing it right. But good parents sometimes produce lousy kids - and lousy parents sometimes produce great kids. Because each child is an individual with the ability to make wise or foolish choices for their lives in their time.

May you be one of the lucky ones - because there is no foolproof formula for how things will turn out.

 

[numberonedad]

Not trying to brag, but i have money, the wife and i have done well in life,We owe no one a PENNY.. We have 5 kids, all grown and college educated, They never ask us for one red cent. Everytime we do something as a family, they insist on paying. And everyone of them has told us "we don't need your money, spend every penny you have!" Im doing my best to fulfill their wish's

 

[KingOfBBN]

Fantastic post, starchief. Kudos.

 

[crazyqx83_rivals88013]

My parents helped me out a lot when I was young. Paid for college, and they gave me a down payment for my first house when my wife and I got married. Because of this at 35, we have very nice retirement savings, no car debt, and plenty to get by on in an emergency. We also pay cash for all large purchases and only use a credit card when we travel and for work stuff that will get reimbursed. I guess the point is, due to some help when I was in my 20's we don't need help in our 30's. I know I am very fortunate, but I don't think I am spoiled.

Must be nice to start off life with a lead at 3rd base. Douche.

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

1. How is Starchief a great grandpa? I thought that dude was around 45.
2. What's worse - a deadbeat kid begging his parents for money, or a kid who inherited wealth, doesn't really do crap, and brags about his lifestyle?
3. If my daughters needs money when they get older, I'll have a difficult time saying no.
4. I plan doing my best putting them on the right track, so if they do start begging for help I can at least say I did my best.

 

[starchief]

1. How is Starchief a great grandpa? I thought that dude was around 45.
2. What's worse - a deadbeat kid begging his parents for money, or a kid who inherited wealth, doesn't really do crap, and brags about his lifestyle?
3. If my daughters needs money when they get older, I'll have a difficult time saying no.
4. I plan doing my best putting them on the right track, so if they do start begging for help I can at least say I did my best.

Nah, Wayne. Older than dirt. Been senile for many years now.

 

[august-west]

I once borrowed 20 grand from my parents to buy a large collection (105) of railroad pocket watches that I could re-sell. When I sold a watch the money went directly to my folks until the entire amount was repaid and then I gave them a small percentage of the profits after I sold them all. Worked out nicely for both of us and I didnt feel one bit about borrowing it from them instead of the bank.

 

[starchief]

I once borrowed 20 grand from my parents to buy a large collection (105) of railroad pocket watches that I could re-sell. When I sold a watch the money went directly to my folks until the entire amount was repaid and then I gave them a small percentage of the profits after I sold them all. Worked out nicely for both of us and I didnt feel one bit about borrowing it from them instead of the bank.

Well done. Most parents who lend money to their kids are pretty certain they'll never be paid back.

 

[mailman85_rivals376684]

I have made it to great-grandfather status and am within reach of attaining great-great-grandfather status. I have two daughters, both of whom ended up being lousy parents. They rejected everything we ever taught them about life and made just about every wrong decision they could ever make (mostly in marrying a string of bums) - and have suffered the consequences. "Screw them - let them live on the streets!" That's what you say you will do when it is not your kid.

You may even do that if your child is a son (but you probably won't). But when that child is a daughter, with a couple of your toddler grandchildren with her, whatcha gonna do then? Make your grandchildren suffer in order to teach her a lesson? Nah, you aren't going to do that. You are going to pay up to try to save your grandchildren! My wife and I became practically surrogate parents to our grandchildren.

And, guess what, all my grandchildren are in their mid-twenties now and are responsible adults. They learned from the stupidity of their parents, having seen the suffering that produced, and from the lessons we were able to teach them. Good people who pay their own way (with a little help from us in getting started). They got zero help from their parents.They are the joy of our old age.

Many posters here seem to be in their thirties and have cute little kids that bring you only joy. So were mine. It's so easy to believe that you are going to avoid the chaos that others go through (and pronounce judgment on others who fail) because you are doing it right. But good parents sometimes produce lousy kids - and lousy parents sometimes produce great kids. Because each child is an individual with the ability to make wise or foolish choices for their lives in their time.

May you be one of the lucky ones - because there is no foolproof formula for how things will turn out.

Well said Starchief, great post.

 

[Supreme Lord Z]

I have made it to great-grandfather status and am within reach of attaining great-great-grandfather status. I have two daughters, both of whom ended up being lousy parents. They rejected everything we ever taught them about life and made just about every wrong decision they could ever make (mostly in marrying a string of bums) - and have suffered the consequences. "Screw them - let them live on the streets!" That's what you say you will do when it is not your kid.

You may even do that if your child is a son (but you probably won't). But when that child is a daughter, with a couple of your toddler grandchildren with her, whatcha gonna do then? Make your grandchildren suffer in order to teach her a lesson? Nah, you aren't going to do that. You are going to pay up to try to save your grandchildren! My wife and I became practically surrogate parents to our grandchildren.

And, guess what, all my grandchildren are in their mid-twenties now and are responsible adults. They learned from the stupidity of their parents, having seen the suffering that produced, and from the lessons we were able to teach them. Good people who pay their own way (with a little help from us in getting started). They got zero help from their parents.They are the joy of our old age.

Many posters here seem to be in their thirties and have cute little kids that bring you only joy. So were mine. It's so easy to believe that you are going to avoid the chaos that others go through (and pronounce judgment on others who fail) because you are doing it right. But good parents sometimes produce lousy kids - and lousy parents sometimes produce great kids. Because each child is an individual with the ability to make wise or foolish choices for their lives in their time.

May you be one of the lucky ones - because there is no foolproof formula for how things will turn out.

This is probably one of the worst posts in the history of the paddock and it is completely wrong and brags about how screwed up their kids' lives are while trying to act like everything turned out okay. Obviously he was greedy, threw his kids to the wolves, then tried to make up for it with a few cheap Christmas gifts then when the kids finally clawed their way out of the gutter he wants to take credit for their horrible suffering as if it was some Christ-like plan of his. Horrible parent produced horrible kids and they somehow overcame his greediness to make their own way. That's what happened here, not some master plan of his.

 

[HossCat73_rivals]

The guy told me a story one time of him being over there and telling his mom to "STFU and get me a sandwich and get out of here"

 

[MegaBlue05]

1. How is Starchief a great grandpa? I thought that dude was around 45.
2. What's worse - a deadbeat kid begging his parents for money, or a kid who inherited wealth, doesn't really do crap, and brags about his lifestyle?
3. If my daughters needs money when they get older, I'll have a difficult time saying no.
4. I plan doing my best putting them on the right track, so if they do start begging for help I can at least say I did my best.

The second one.

I worked a retail job in HS with a kid whose family was a normal middle class family. Their grandpa was apparently well-connected in the horse business. When grandpa died, he left the family millions in an inheritance. Instead of using this money wisely to live a comfortable life forever, the parents quit their jobs, bought a house 5 times bigger than they needed, started buying expensive stuff like new luxury cars and boats and their kids started acting like ballers too. The kid my age quit high school because his family was "loaded" and he didn't need an education.

Within five years they'd blown the money and were reduced to living as a family of four in a two bedroom apartment after getting their giant house foreclosed on. Dude who was my age, as of 5 years ago, works third-shift at Walmart. Probably should've spent the money on an education rather than a new Benz, hoss.

 

[crazyqx83_rivals88013]

The second one.

I worked a retail job in HS with a kid whose family was a normal middle class family. Their grandpa was apparently well-connected in the horse business. When grandpa died, he left the family millions in an inheritance. Instead of using this money wisely to live a comfortable life forever, the parents quit their jobs, bought a house 5 times bigger than they needed, started buying expensive stuff like new luxury cars and boats and their kids started acting like ballers too. The kid my age quit high school because his family was "loaded" and he didn't need an education.

Within five years they'd blown the money and were reduced to living as a family of four in a two bedroom apartment after getting their giant house foreclosed on. Dude who was my age, as of 5 years ago, works third-shift at Walmart. Probably should've spent the money on an education rather than a new Benz, hoss.

If you inherit millions, why would you finance a house?

I'm always amazed at these stories. You would think they could "accident" their way into having even a fraction of their money go to an asset that holds value. But I guess if the kid dropped out of high school because his parents inherited money, i could believe it.

 

[Supreme Lord Z]

Because those stories are lies made up to make losers feel like their pointless lives have significance. They want you to think following the "rules" is important because they themselves are above them. It's folklore for imbeciles. Cautionary tales to scare children. Boogiemen to explain away things that go bump in the night.

 

[starchief]

Z is off his meds again.

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

Z is off his meds again.

If you're gonna steal my line at least give me credit. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

 

[Cawood86_rivals]

So you'd essentially be like a young

On an unrelated note, I used to be friends with this kid whose dad worked as a set designer in Hollywood and my buddy used to follow his dad to the sets and befriend these people. He worked on Seaquest (he hung out with Jonathan Brandis),Steel Magnolias and Blank Check, I believe.

Anyways, my buddy used to be good friends with that little kid from Blank Check and do drugs with him and hang out over his house. Because the kid was the money maker in that house, he used to boss his mom around like crazy. The guy told me a story one time of him being over there and telling his mom to "STFU and get me a sandwich and get out of here" or something like that.

I imagine that's common in that environment.

My dad told me when I was a teenager that if he ever heard me talk back to my mother that when I woke up I'd be getting up off the floor. Knew he meant and knew he'd do it.