AKB: What did your kid’s wedding cost?
- Thread starter laKavosiey-st lion
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Don’t do a destination wedding, ffs.
My daughter (let’s call her “2”) was home last weekend for another daughter’s (let’s call her “4”) graduation. The discussion of her getting married to the guys she’s been dating for a couple of years came up she said they discussed it and both want to elope. I said, “You’re damn right you do!” I’m fearful of how much my wife would be willing to throw at a wedding.
Daughter one was married at PAFA. Pennsylvania Academy of Fine Arts in center city Philly. Venue was 8 K, Catering 22K, music, flowers, video another 5K. So 35K 4 yrs ago, easily 40K today
No kids of my own but my extended family has had small weddings that start at 250 people. Go up to 600-700 people.
That includes stateside weddings, and about 8 or so international destinations.
So start with that.
That includes stateside weddings, and about 8 or so international destinations.
So start with that.
I say make them wait until there 30 then half the people they would invite won’t be close anymore to invite them.
i have 3 daughters. Right now 2 in college and a 3rd starts fall 26. So I’m hoping they wait. 🫣
i have 3 daughters. Right now 2 in college and a 3rd starts fall 26. So I’m hoping they wait. 🫣
You are the FOG, not FOB. You should be footing a small percentage of the wedding if any at all. The rehearsal dinner is traditionally the FOB's responsibility.
If you pay for anything you get to pick what they get. It isn't a blank check.
My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and my wife and I paid for the wedding. We were 25 yrs old had 250-300 guest paid less than $10k. That was 22 years ago and people will still tell us how much fun they had.
If you pay for anything you get to pick what they get. It isn't a blank check.
My parents paid for the rehearsal dinner and my wife and I paid for the wedding. We were 25 yrs old had 250-300 guest paid less than $10k. That was 22 years ago and people will still tell us how much fun they had.
It is all out of hand including the 20 minute wedding toast (you get 3 minutes and then cut the mic), maid of honor toasts, the stupid rehearsed dances with the bride and father, weekend destination bachelor/bachelorette parties etc.
Son got married 3 years ago. Total cost was over $50k for about 180 people. Married at her college with the country club reception. His wife ignored my suggestion to can the big shindig and put that money towards something useful like a house. Today they live in an apartment as they save their money to some day buy a house.
Our wedding less than 10 years ago was less than 15K all in for approximately 175 guests. Saved a ton of money by using an officers club on a military base in Virginia Beach. Venue was better than you’d think, and it was right on the water. Guests were able to rent cottages on the beach for the weekend if desired.
I feel for ya. I know of very few weddings where some clash of interests didn’t cause way too much friction and expense. Personally I never got the whole “I’m paying so I’m going to invite 85 people the couple doesn’t even know and they must like it” thing. And to pay what amounts to an average household’s 1-2 years of savings for an event that many couples say they can’t even remember except through pictures and, well, help me make sense of it.
And think about it. It’s a bad investment when you consider any marriage has a 50/50 chance.
Some friend of my dad blew $50k on his daughter's wedding... divorced less than a year later.
Not to hi-jack your wedding thread, but "Happy Memorial Day" is a terrible phrase. It is like saying "Happy funeral". I know you didn't mean it, but for those that lost loved ones, this is not a happy day.
Thank you for your service, Remembering those that sacrificed everything for my freedom.
Cousin got married in a 16 acre 17th century castle in Este Italy. Cost $18k for a week - included room for the bride and groom and family (total 10) two meals per day, afternoon tea and had a pool.
An Albanian family were the caretakers of the property. Each morning the husband would go into the hen house and get eggs. For fruits and vegetables for the meals he picked directly from the orchard or the vegetable garden. The wife and teenage daughter did the cooking and cleaning. Husband took care of the grounds
They were such a nice family my cousin and wife (and now two kids) have gone back to visit them.
The price included two separate wedding events to accommodate the extended family.
I would recommend this option to anyone. it was an amazing experience Plus it was cheaper than a 6 hour wedding event in the States.
An Albanian family were the caretakers of the property. Each morning the husband would go into the hen house and get eggs. For fruits and vegetables for the meals he picked directly from the orchard or the vegetable garden. The wife and teenage daughter did the cooking and cleaning. Husband took care of the grounds
They were such a nice family my cousin and wife (and now two kids) have gone back to visit them.
The price included two separate wedding events to accommodate the extended family.
I would recommend this option to anyone. it was an amazing experience Plus it was cheaper than a 6 hour wedding event in the States.
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You hit on a key point. We gave our daughter and future son-in-law a choice. We would give them $25,000 to use as they choose --- if they wanted a larger wedding they could spend it all (but we would spend no more, any additional money would come from them) or they could have a smaller wedding and use whatever was left toward a new home. They chose the latter option and had an absolutely beautiful outdoor wedding in Savannah, Georgia, attended by only 14 people (parents, siblings, and their closest friends). Less than two years later in 2021 that $20,000 +/- they were able to save on their smaller wedding significantly contributed to their down payment on a $500,000 home in Charleston, South Carolina, which today would sell for over $750,000. Her husband's parents, the others who were there, and my wife and I still talk about "the most perfect wedding we've ever attended". Personally, I think big weddings are a ridiculous waste of money.
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Married in 2010, had about 125 guests at a nice but smaller venue, cost $15k all in (in-laws covered this). My parents cut us a separate check for $10k, said we could use it to buy a house or throw a big party, and we took the house. Two years later, student loans were paid off and our only marital debt has been for mortgage and car loans.
Several of my friends got married that year, including a couple that collectively had over $100k each in student loans. Invited close to 300 people at $175/head (discounted rate as wedding was held on Sunday). Big band, carving/sushi stations, the works. They bought their first house about 10 years after we did and still owe on the loans. Another buddy of mine had a lavish wedding, only to get divorced 3 years later after his ex first took a new lover and then took the house.
My advice to parents: set a number, make your feelings known at the beginning of the process, and then get out of the way. If you and your wife insist on inviting every long lost cousin to your kids’ wedding, then add to your number.
Several of my friends got married that year, including a couple that collectively had over $100k each in student loans. Invited close to 300 people at $175/head (discounted rate as wedding was held on Sunday). Big band, carving/sushi stations, the works. They bought their first house about 10 years after we did and still owe on the loans. Another buddy of mine had a lavish wedding, only to get divorced 3 years later after his ex first took a new lover and then took the house.
My advice to parents: set a number, make your feelings known at the beginning of the process, and then get out of the way. If you and your wife insist on inviting every long lost cousin to your kids’ wedding, then add to your number.
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We’re going to a big wedding in sept in LA. It will be fun to see the big spending in action now that I’m actually paying attention. I know to get there and hang out for 3 days + the gift is costing 3-4k.
Nothing further than 1 1/2 hour car ride.
My daughter gets married in two weeks. We've planned it at a golf course service, reception and open bar during reception for about 130. For that alone it is estimated at $27k. The grooms parents are adding another 1.5 hour onto the open bar themselves. Have no idea why but whatever. We're covering a good portion of that amount but no way the whole amount. My wife shared a picture, with our kids, of the check her dad saved for our wedding reception, of about the same number, back in 1993. $2612 
!
!About 75k, if I remember correctly, to get married in Manhattan 10 years ago with 150 people
My wedding in 2003 was $27k and it was one hell of a party but still not worth the money. When my son got married we were able to convince him to have a nice but reasonable wedding at around $6k.
I've told my children. Weddings are just plain stupid and don't expect me to contribute. You can go to a JOP and get piece of paper for just about nothing.
Kid one get married in our church 4 years ago. The venue that sits over 200 people and has a reception hall. It was free. Go figure. For that, I paid for his honeymoon. Kid 2 got married two weeks ago. Outdoor venue down by Butler. I was told the wedding cost around 10K, and if it was they got a pretty good bang for the buck (around 200 guests), but the inlaws paid for it, and I think my son was going easy with the cost because he knows how stupid I think the things are. The inlaws demanded the wedding, kids where planning on eloping, and going to Scotland. That I would have kicked in some money.
I paid for a reception dinner. It cost me around $500. Daughter in law loved it. Have a friend that owns a coffee house in Butler. Gave us a private room with a small caterer for 30 people. Friend made out like a bandit. We paid for one drink for all the wedding party, that cost us $157. A lot of other guest that arrived a day early came in to the coffee house, and the thing was packed with paying customers all night.
BTW, I got married in the same church as my son 32 years ago. 26 people including the wedding party. My wife has told me the most expense thing in the wedding were the flowers she bought. Only about 10 of the people at the wedding have told me it was the nicest wedding they've ever been to. The meal kicked arse. Old church women could cook back in the day.
Kid one get married in our church 4 years ago. The venue that sits over 200 people and has a reception hall. It was free. Go figure. For that, I paid for his honeymoon. Kid 2 got married two weeks ago. Outdoor venue down by Butler. I was told the wedding cost around 10K, and if it was they got a pretty good bang for the buck (around 200 guests), but the inlaws paid for it, and I think my son was going easy with the cost because he knows how stupid I think the things are. The inlaws demanded the wedding, kids where planning on eloping, and going to Scotland. That I would have kicked in some money.
I paid for a reception dinner. It cost me around $500. Daughter in law loved it. Have a friend that owns a coffee house in Butler. Gave us a private room with a small caterer for 30 people. Friend made out like a bandit. We paid for one drink for all the wedding party, that cost us $157. A lot of other guest that arrived a day early came in to the coffee house, and the thing was packed with paying customers all night.
BTW, I got married in the same church as my son 32 years ago. 26 people including the wedding party. My wife has told me the most expense thing in the wedding were the flowers she bought. Only about 10 of the people at the wedding have told me it was the nicest wedding they've ever been to. The meal kicked arse. Old church women could cook back in the day.
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I think expensive weddings are silly.
I think the bride’s family being on the hook for the cost of the wedding is silly. (I say this as the father of 2 boys). I mean, why not require a dowry, too?
Yeah, I got roped into being a part of a traditional wedding (not in a church, though … that’s where I drew the line), but it would have been smarter to just have a cheap civil ceremony, and then have a slightly-more-elaborate than normal party after for a fraction of the price. And I knew it wasn’t going to be a crazy, over the top shindig, because I picked a reasonable partner in life. But her father had died a few years earlier, and this was, in some manner, a way to honor him and his wishes, so I was willing. I think we kept it to around $20K, and then spent 2 weeks in Hawaii hobnobbing with folks like Spike Lee while staying in an oceanfront suite at the Maui Four Seasons (actually 1 week there and 1 week on Kauai).
Save the money for far more important things. Save yourself (especially if you’re the bride) all the hassle and stress of the planning.
I think the bride’s family being on the hook for the cost of the wedding is silly. (I say this as the father of 2 boys). I mean, why not require a dowry, too?
Yeah, I got roped into being a part of a traditional wedding (not in a church, though … that’s where I drew the line), but it would have been smarter to just have a cheap civil ceremony, and then have a slightly-more-elaborate than normal party after for a fraction of the price. And I knew it wasn’t going to be a crazy, over the top shindig, because I picked a reasonable partner in life. But her father had died a few years earlier, and this was, in some manner, a way to honor him and his wishes, so I was willing. I think we kept it to around $20K, and then spent 2 weeks in Hawaii hobnobbing with folks like Spike Lee while staying in an oceanfront suite at the Maui Four Seasons (actually 1 week there and 1 week on Kauai).
Save the money for far more important things. Save yourself (especially if you’re the bride) all the hassle and stress of the planning.
I think my wedding cost about $50. My living room, with our parents and a judge I worked for. Don’t regret a thing.
Our nephew is in the “entertainment” end of the wedding business in the D.C./Frederick, Md. area.
What he pulls in $$ wise in a weekend is obscene. He has the big setup with DJ equipment, P.A., light show, Photo Booth, and they even have a few bands in the loop as needed.
What he pulls in $$ wise in a weekend is obscene. He has the big setup with DJ equipment, P.A., light show, Photo Booth, and they even have a few bands in the loop as needed.
You mean weddings aren't at the firehall or American legion any longer?