Clemson Jokes

[Gamecock J]

I’ve been trying to send a Clemson joke to my Clemson friends every day this week, but I’m having trouble finding ones that aren’t either super worn out, generic, or profane. Does anyone have any good ones? I’m going for family friendly.

 

[PrestonyteParrot]

This is an oldie but a goodie

Did you hear about the Clemson coed who sent the long-distance break up news to her Clemson boyfriend?
He was shocked when he received the John Deere letter.

 

[Slim Chickens Gamecock]

Long time Clemson fan at a Clemson home game last week had his car broken into. The intruders left a set of 26' season tickets on the dashboard.

 

[PaleoorthoCock]

Did you hear about the guy who sold the box of Cheerios to the Clemson school of science for one million dollars? He told them it was donut seed.

 

[USCEE82]

Did you hear about the pickup truck that ran off the bridge and crashed into the river? A Clemson graduate who was riding in the bed drowned because he couldn't get the tailgate open.

 

[USCEE82]

DJ Uiagalelei

 

[DrMickeySC]

The FBI and SLED were called out to Clemson’s practice on Tuesday when the team discovered a white, powdery substance. Upon review, the investigators determined that the white substance was, in fact, the goal line, and they didn’t need to worry about it this Saturday.

 

[USCEE82]

The FBI and SLED were called out to Clemson’s practice on Tuesday when the team discovered a white, powdery substance. Upon review, the investigators determined that the white substance was, in fact, the goal line, and they didn’t need to worry about it this Saturday.

Classic

 

[DenverGamecock]

When Clemson was founded it was gonna be named CLEM..
They decided to add a S for Chivalry, an O for Honor and a N for Knowledge.

 

[USCEE82]

How do you know that Clemmers invented the toothbrush? Because anywhere else it would have been named teethbrush.

 

[bayrooster]

How do you know that Clemmers invented the toothbrush? Because anywhere else it would have been named teethbrush.

I remember someone once telling a Clemson troll to "go brush your tooth and think about what you said."

 

[Anon1733002981]

What do Clemson and USC students have in common?

Both were accepted to USC.

 

[KOTR]

What do Clemson and USC students have in common?

Both were accepted to USC.

What is the difference between the two student bodies? One is celebrating a road victory today, the other is having to cuddle with its goats.

 

[Anon1733002981]

What is the difference between the two student bodies? One is celebrating a road victory today, the other is having to cuddle with its

Uh-oh, did I strike a nerve?

 

[KOTR]

Uh-oh, did I strike a nerve?

What do I have to be the slightest bit upset about? Okay, I'll admit it, your joke got me between 17-14 percent sad.

 

[Anon1733002981]

What do I have to be the slightest bit upset about? Okay, I'll admit it, your joke got me between 17-14 percent sad.

I would have said 14-17 percent. But, then I didn’t have to settle for a USC education

 

[KOTR]

I would have said 14-17 percent. But, then I didn’t have to settle for a USC education

It was a rapidly decreasing sadness.

 

[Anon1733002981]

It was a rapidly decreasing sadness.

Well-played! I tip my cap to you.

 

[Evilchicken]

What do Clemson and USC students have in common?

Both were accepted to USC.

Boo.