How many of you do the his and hers money thing? Do you split your bills based on who makes more? This mindset has always intrigued me. What led to this decision?
How many of you married people keep your money separate?
- Thread starter weused2luvhim2
- Start date
Not in my household of wedded bliss.
My money is ours.
Her money is hers.
Not really. We pool it all together. I'm the breadwinner, so sometimes I feel like I get cheated. Lol.
My money is ours.
Her money is hers.
Not really. We pool it all together. I'm the breadwinner, so sometimes I feel like I get cheated. Lol.
Separate bank accounts. Been that way for about 10 years now. After writing a check one day and it bounced after she had been paying her mothers bills. Mother was capable of working but, chose not to. She had been paying her mothers bills for a while but the bills got bigger. So, I went on a separate account, pay the brunt of our bills while she helps her mother and brother out now. Her mother worked for a couple of years after but, started drawing money from SS so now does not work anymore. Still needs help.
I just finally split bank accounts. My wife is awful with money so I have her pay her car, car insurance and cell phone bill and I cover everything else. Started actually having money to save and started investing into retirement again.
Now she can no longer spend my money out of control and it causes her to work more to cover her spending.
She gets pissed and I don't give a ****. I don't make big money honestly but it's enough to house and feed 3 kids and have something set back if I want to do anything. Before I struggled month to month to get by and that was with her money too.
Just had to happen honestly.
Now she can no longer spend my money out of control and it causes her to work more to cover her spending.
She gets pissed and I don't give a ****. I don't make big money honestly but it's enough to house and feed 3 kids and have something set back if I want to do anything. Before I struggled month to month to get by and that was with her money too.
Just had to happen honestly.
Separate bank and credit card accounts. We do share the same savings account (makes it easier to keep track of how much we have in it). We both grew up very independent and agreed early on it was the best way to do it.
We split the bills. She is not as good with money as I am so she pays more of the bills and I put more back in savings and investments.
Has worked well for us. We never argue about money except when I see on our Mint account (iPad app) her ridiculous credit card balance and have to get on her about her bad shopping habits. Frankly, it works for about 2 weeks and then she goes right back to it. Just learned to stay on her a bit but not make it a huge deal. Women in general simply have something in their DNA about wasting money on BS at the stores.
We split the bills. She is not as good with money as I am so she pays more of the bills and I put more back in savings and investments.
Has worked well for us. We never argue about money except when I see on our Mint account (iPad app) her ridiculous credit card balance and have to get on her about her bad shopping habits. Frankly, it works for about 2 weeks and then she goes right back to it. Just learned to stay on her a bit but not make it a huge deal. Women in general simply have something in their DNA about wasting money on BS at the stores.
Same here on not making big money but have a nice house worth $239,000.00 (with $1600.00) monthly mortgage. Just moved in 3 years ago tomorrow from a house only worth $53,000.00, a real dump of a place. Built in 1940, only worth $53,000.00 because it was on 5 lots. Wife wanted better house so I gave in. I had to bail her out a couple of years ago when she over extended on her mothers bills again. After a week of complaining that this is why we have separate accounts and that I could not afford taking care of her mother and brother too, she swore that it will never happen again because she did not want to here me bitching anymore. So far so good, in fact she has been saving a little money to help if the need ever arose with her mother again.
Put some responsibility on them in hopes reality sinks in. What I dealt with was my wife spent the same money twice and assumed it was a good think.
Me: Hey babe we are having a 3rd child so we should scale back spending.
Her: I'll work extra
Me: Sweety if we get rid of your SUV that's paid for, for a minivan because we need more space, no sweat but it will have a payment and we need to scale back.
Her: No sweat I'll work extra
Me: Honey we have ate out everyday for a month and really need to scale back
Her: No sweat I'll work extra
Me: hey all that extra work doesn't seem to help pay the bills, any ideas what's up with that?
Her: No sweat I'll pick up tomorrow.
Me: Hey babe we are having a 3rd child so we should scale back spending.
Her: I'll work extra
Me: Sweety if we get rid of your SUV that's paid for, for a minivan because we need more space, no sweat but it will have a payment and we need to scale back.
Her: No sweat I'll work extra
Me: Honey we have ate out everyday for a month and really need to scale back
Her: No sweat I'll work extra
Me: hey all that extra work doesn't seem to help pay the bills, any ideas what's up with that?
Her: No sweat I'll pick up tomorrow.
I was married once, took a massive bath in the divorce, and swore I'd never get married again. I've been living with my GF for almost 8 years, we have a daughter together, but I'll be damned if I ever get hitched again. I refer to her as my wife with most strangers when discussing things because it's just easier that way.
My advice to any man is to never get married. If you do, start hiding money immediately.
My advice to any man is to never get married. If you do, start hiding money immediately.
you guys are married and have money? i thought only debt came with marriage. i am doing something wrong then.
Ky doesn't recognize common law. Sure, I'd have to pay child support but I never had a problem with that. It was the huge maintenance settlement the judge gave my first wife that killed me.
Y'all don't need separate bank accounts...you need to learn how to be a man and lead a household.
Truth.
My wife can't make it through a grocery store without buying some mints/gum/candy/magazines in the checkout line. I've always called the checkout the "sucker aisle" because that's how they squeeze every last penny out of suckers. I swear it's an instinct for her to grab something useless as we checkout just for the hell of it.
Me and the wife keep our money separate. I pay all the bills every month and she gives me half of whatever I pay. If we need something, we split the cost. We put the same amount in for retirement/vacation fund but also have separate savings. It works well for us. We each make our own budget and can do whatever we want with our money as long as the bills get paid. We never fight about money.
80 percent of both our salaries go to joint, 20 to separate for individual purchases and fun money. We both spend like idiots and don't really think or stress about it too much tbh.
We should, tbh, but we lived together for 7 years before recently getting married and have always just split living expenses, vacations, etc and handled our own retirements and savings. I make more so I paid for a down payment, the wedding/honeymoon, etc and we use her income for more day-to-day type expenses.
She did the Dave Ramsey thing before I met her and is really thrifty and I own an honorary yarmulke so money has never really been much of a problem.
I feel like she and I should probably combine bank accounts, etc but I also trust her implicitly and our system isn't broke so it just is not a priority. We usually have a monthly discussion to make sure each one of us has adequate savings, check the status of retirement savings, where we stand on medical and HSA funding, make sure we set a rough household budget and are saving for any planned trips or home improvements, etc.
Reading this thread makes me really happy that I don't feel the need to check her account statements or otherwise worry about it, tbh. My biggest ***** about her financial habits is that I'm going to have to meet with her retirement plan administrator to make sure that her retirement money is going into the lowest cost index funds because her eyes literally glaze over if people start talking about investments, which is a pretty small thing to ***** about.
I'm pretty damn lucky with my wife, I guess.
She did the Dave Ramsey thing before I met her and is really thrifty and I own an honorary yarmulke so money has never really been much of a problem.
I feel like she and I should probably combine bank accounts, etc but I also trust her implicitly and our system isn't broke so it just is not a priority. We usually have a monthly discussion to make sure each one of us has adequate savings, check the status of retirement savings, where we stand on medical and HSA funding, make sure we set a rough household budget and are saving for any planned trips or home improvements, etc.
Reading this thread makes me really happy that I don't feel the need to check her account statements or otherwise worry about it, tbh. My biggest ***** about her financial habits is that I'm going to have to meet with her retirement plan administrator to make sure that her retirement money is going into the lowest cost index funds because her eyes literally glaze over if people start talking about investments, which is a pretty small thing to ***** about.
I'm pretty damn lucky with my wife, I guess.
Don't you hate it when good people get duped into helping those they love without realizing they are actually enabling them not to help themselves?
She has her own checking account, I have my own checking account. She can shop when she wants to with her $$, I can gamble and buy a quarter of good fire when I want to with my $$.
Split bills right down the middle. Joint mortgage account. Works for us.
Split bills right down the middle. Joint mortgage account. Works for us.
Why would I want separate accounts to pay our bills? We have two joint checking accounts. One we use to pay scheduled monthly bills, the other for everything else.
I guess we have two advantages over most, I didn't marry an idiot like most of you seem to have done and we're not poor so there is always plenty of money in the joint spending account.
While my wife and I were still dating, we saw some of our married friends either fight over money or talk about hiding purchases from their spouse. We decided that we would try to avoid that stuff by keeping our finances separate. For the most part, it has worked very well over the past 15 years. We split the mortgage, divide up the utilities and take turns buying groceries. This way we avoid fighting over the number one cause of divorce, Money.
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Separate accounts for convenience sake, most of our real money is in my 401K though, rarely keep much in checking and savings, use a 2nd mortgage when I need short term cash, the rest is invested for the most part. But basically, we share everything we have.
I cannot get her to pay attention to our finances and investments, her eyes just roll up in her head every time I try to get her to look at statements and particular investments.
I cannot get her to pay attention to our finances and investments, her eyes just roll up in her head every time I try to get her to look at statements and particular investments.
This thread has actually made me re-think what I thought I was going to do, which was force us both into one joint account Dave Ramsey-style.
The more I think of it, the more I like us each keeping a separate account with just a little money for basic spending in order to avoid BS arguments and then pooling the bulk of the income into a joint account for the major stuff.
The wife, like a lot of women, doesn't care about the details. She just wants to feel secure and I have a penchant for griping at her about details that she has no concern over. So long as we're both committed to the same ideas, I'm not gonna sweat small purchases that are not made with debt and keep it as simple and argument free as possible.
It's not at all. You seem angry about the fact that you're poor. Probably also married a dumb cow like the rest of these guys that can't work together with their wife to manage finances.
My parents put us through a little pre-marital boot camp which included a ton of topics. One main point was: As soon as get married divide up the bills and household chores among each other as equally as possible. Make it clear who's responsible for what.
We have separate accounts, but we help each other out when we're bound down....and we talk about finances frequently/openly.
We have separate accounts, but we help each other out when we're bound down....and we talk about finances frequently/openly.
We have a joint account and my wife has an additional checking account. There are certain things she buys that I just dont want to know about so a portion of money each month goes to her separate account- and she also gets occasional work bonuses that get funneled there.
Works well for us.
Works well for us.
I'm with you on this. My wife and I have joint checking and savings. We both make pretty good money and neither has ever been a big spender. We've been married for 10 years, have had joint accounts the entire time and have never argued over money.
We rarely argue over money, but when we do, the subject of how much I spend on golf comes up, every single time. I finally told her that we only drive paid for cars (until recently have bought used cars); we don't live in a house over our means, we don't take extravagant trips . . . so my golf membership and other expenses are my only extravagance (plus UK football tickets, which she knows are untouchable) so she can just back off!!
Her side.
I paid all the bills in my acct and that allowed her to save all the money in her acct
I could have made it nasty. But i didn't
Separate. She is pitiful when it comes to planning/spending/budgeting. Used to be joint...didn't work. Money I thought was going to be there to pay bills wasn't. Separate accounts. I pay for all...she pays for food & helps out w/kids (clothes, supplies, etc...) It works...barely, 3 kids & neither of us make a ton o cash. Married 26 years.
I guess I was lucky enough to marry a woman that is a very good money manager. Been married 24 years all of our accounts are joint. She keeps up with the savings and checking. I handle our mutual funds. I honestly don't give a **** what she buys because she doesn't just blow money. We take a nice vacation every year. I guess it makes it easier to not fight about money when you live within your means. We both drive nice vehicles and owe 7 more years on our house.