How much younger can a man date before it’s “awkward “?
- Thread starter Catch1lion
- Start date
As long as she is at least 20, there is no such thing as awkward. Thank goodness we no longer live in the 1950s.
It’s awkward when I‘m with a woman my age. 
If you're at least in your upper-30's, the rule is that if she's young enough to be your daughter, and you date her, you're a sad creepy creepster. Before that, it's situation dependent. If you're intellectually or emotionally stunted, you might be able to go for a young 20's type of girl who has at least started her career in your earlier 30's. If you're still in the same kind of environment (slightly older, in grad school, and she's an undergrad sort of situation) then that's OK when you're younger.
As one of my ex-roommates at PSU claimed, “if you have the coin they practically give you the key to the hole”.
A bit crude, but apparently true.
A bit crude, but apparently true.
I took a close 2nd look at the Belichick photo and noticed he’s wearing his Super Bowl Rings on both hands.
The guy is a winner and he has good taste.
Paying for it has always been degrading.
So, 41 for me. I was going with “ten years older than your oldest child.” That fits. “As young as your kids will let you get away with” works too. For me that’s probably the aforementioned ten years older than your oldest child. (I do not want to see my younger daughter on the warpath. She would be The Breath of Hell.)
It also depends on the timing. I met my wife when I was in my early 30s. She was in her mid to late 20s. No big deal at all (except getting heath insurance for her after I retired). But when I was a third year grad student, she was graduating high school. That would have been a bigger deal--then.
Look at it from the other perspective. If you were a young man, how old a woman would you date. If you’re 24, would you date 72? Same standard should apply. Flip the perspective. If you wouldn’t date that age as a young man, you shouldn’t date the younger age when you’re old.
I’ll stick with the double standard.
If she is younger than one of your kids very creepy and if Billy Boy was a truck driver from Omaha she wouldn’t be 10 miles near him.
As long as both parties are of legal age and consenting do what you want.
Ok, being the same age, looking at physical and cognitive changes that occur with healthy aging and yes that is open to interpretation. I honestly find it difficult to say this is a sustainable healthy pathway, in the real world. Of course Coach Bill’s life is pretty remarkable, wish him well moving forward.
Look - it’s transactional and both get it. He gets what he wants, she gets what she wants - done and done. The problem occurs when one party isn’t aware or is naive to it like Holly Robinson and Hugh Hefner; she believed she would get married to and have kids with him despite staging and participating in orgies with him.
In your case, just ask if they rode the short bus to school ... if they say "yes," ask them out. Gap problem solved.
OR
Just look for someone wearing a protective helmet while not riding a bike/motorcycle, and it's a match!
I completely agree. I am in my early 50's. My wife is in her early 40's, which isn't a big deal. However, we joke at times that when I a freshman at PSU, she was still in elementary school.
I am married, since 1982....pastor said everything of mine now becomes hers....she reminds me of that every week (payday).
With AI, one can create his own girlfriend to be any age he wants.
Or.....so I have been told.
Or.....so I have been told.
4 years can be awkward . Billy Ray Cyrus hitting Elizabeth Hurley . 
If two consenting adults are genuinely happy together and supportive of each other, let them be. If there’s a limit of what would work FOR YOU, that’s fine… but recognize it’s a personal opinion.
Obviously there are situations where it’s NOT a good mix and one is trying to take advantage of the other. That can apply to any type of relationship, and of course that’s wrong. But it’s also wrong to say there’s some arbitrary rule that dictates which relationships are OK and which aren’t, completely overriding the nature of the individual people themselves and what’s right for them.
The “half your age plus seven” thing — a freaking mathematical formula to say who can be together as a couple, are you kidding me? Our constitution once said we could define some human beings as three-fifths of a person for certain purposes. Was that OK? Both of those “rules” are dehumanizing criteria pulled out of someone’s arse, both deserving to be put back from whence they came.
My grandparents had a 20-year age gap… they married in the early 1940’s and paid no mind to society’s bigotry on this topic. They were the most loving and honorable couple you could ever hope to meet, who would do anything for family, friends, or even strangers who might have needed help. They were all the evidence I ever needed for the true answer to this non-question.
Obviously there are situations where it’s NOT a good mix and one is trying to take advantage of the other. That can apply to any type of relationship, and of course that’s wrong. But it’s also wrong to say there’s some arbitrary rule that dictates which relationships are OK and which aren’t, completely overriding the nature of the individual people themselves and what’s right for them.
The “half your age plus seven” thing — a freaking mathematical formula to say who can be together as a couple, are you kidding me? Our constitution once said we could define some human beings as three-fifths of a person for certain purposes. Was that OK? Both of those “rules” are dehumanizing criteria pulled out of someone’s arse, both deserving to be put back from whence they came.
My grandparents had a 20-year age gap… they married in the early 1940’s and paid no mind to society’s bigotry on this topic. They were the most loving and honorable couple you could ever hope to meet, who would do anything for family, friends, or even strangers who might have needed help. They were all the evidence I ever needed for the true answer to this non-question.
Ew. Back in those days, folks tended to get married younger than they do today ... so how old was GrandmaCVLion when GrandpaCVLion crept up to her?
Listen, just because we know an exception, or whatever ... doesn't mean we should recommend something. Neither of my parents graduated high school and my dad knocked up my mom after he'd dropped out and while she was still in high school. I also think my mom smoked while pregnant with me. And look how perfect I turned out! Overall, they raised a decent family, and they have even better grandkids.
That doesn't mean, if someone asks me if people should drop out of high school and start a family, I'm going to say "yeah, sure ... and it's bigotry to suggest otherwise!" or if they ask if you should smoke while pregnant, I'm going to go up to anyone who says "no" and say "listen, buddy ... don't judge!"