How To Not Annoy Your Bartender/Get Drinks In A Timely Fashion

[TransyCat09]

Again, service workers are right near the top of the "you just don't understand how tough my job *really* is" list. Say anything and it immediately goes to, "O, so I guess you'd be fine waiting on people hand and foot for TWO DOLLARS AN HOUR?!?!" *waiter drives off to new apartment in late model vehicle on 4th day off in a row*

 

[Ron Mehico]

One of the best things about being a bartender is having the ability to talk down/make fun of someone without saying anything they can legitimately get mad about.

And one of the best things about NOT being a bartender is being respected for a living.

 

[UKGrad93]

Can't believe Rogue left this one out:

13. Don't wear a Panama Jackass hat to the bar.

 

[LineSkiCat14]

Naturally, this thread has taken a nose-dive.

Rogue's starting to get a little preachy after what appears to be a crappy Sunday behind the bar.

And now posters are hurling poo at the bartending profession, part because Rouge probably brought it out of them, but also part because downing 7 Jamos didn't get them laid and they need someone to blame.

Willy's about to start advocating for mary jane, that damn hippie. But can you blame him after this thread?

 

[Tinker Dan]

Naturally, this thread has taken a nose-dive.

Rogue's starting to get a little preachy after what appears to be a crappy Sunday behind the bar.

And now posters are hurling poo at the bartending profession, part because Rouge probably brought it out of them, but also part because downing 7 Jamos didn't get them laid and they need someone to blame.

Willy's about to start advocating for mary jane, that damn hippie. But can you blame him after this thread?

I agree. I can totally imagine dealing with drunks would be a PITA. But, it came across a little "holier than thou" to me, in that we are lucky to be in the presence of a good bartender.

But we all have bad days.

 

[_Chase_]

Bartenders are fine. But, they are bartenders. They aren't Tom Cruise playing a bartender in Cocktail. As long as they understand that, everything is typically fine.

 

[Dig Dirkler]

If patrons were allowed to grab their own beers like they can fill their own drinks at McDonald's, then you'd be out on your ***, living in a van down by the river, pouring pruno...

Close, but in this case he'd be trying to pick up extra murse shifts.

 

[roguemocha]

rogue really seems like an attention-seeker with sociopathic tendencies.

Or OR....someone on a two month sabbatical from work that just got hours of entertainment out of this ridiculous thread on a Monday.

No crappy Sunday or anything just wanted to post that and see what happened. I didn't work weekends or nights because I don't like to have to schedule off for UK games and I like having that 1130-5 mon-fri schedule. Pretty sweet gig to be honest.

 

[warrior-cat]

But who the hell wants to get drunk at home while watching your wife do the housework? Not me.

Depends on what she is wearing.

 

[oldsports_]

I agree. I can totally imagine dealing with drunks would be a PITA. But, it came across a little "holier than thou" to me, in that we are lucky to be in the presence of a good bartender.

But we all have bad days.

I agree about the bad day, some dude Rogue was slipping free drinks to all night, ended up shagging Azz with another dude who didn't have a man bun on his head.

 

[drxman1]

I have issue with not splitting up the tab. I mean, if I tell you I want my own tab, then put me on my own tab.

For Christ sake they can do at it Applebee's. It's really just laziness. And you deserve 20% for what?

 

[Kooky Kats]

"You're a cashier!!!"

 

[warrior-cat]

Some one made a reference to people now ragging on bartenders. I don't think it is that as much as ragging a specific type of service worker. I don't think it is just bartenders but anyone who's attitude portrays an unwillingness to treat the customer with at least a modicum of respect until they prove otherwise so deserving. I have seen it many times out and about people who for whatever reason think that there job, position, or supposed status gives them some sort of upper hand over others. If by chance Rogue was actually that way, it would not take me 10 minutes to leave that place and his mood would not make any difference in how I left. That would be on my terms at that point. Oh, and by the way, I tip very well.

 

[DSmith21]

It seems that we got off easy with only 12 rules. This cranky bartender has 53 but at least she is concise.

http://matadornetwork.com/nights/53-things-youre-totally-annoy-bartender/

 

[Wall2Boogie]

You want 12? You get 12.

12. Don't ask about the whole mixing of alcohols and "beer before liquor never been sicker" BS. That is some high school rhyme that 17 year olds tell 15 yeard olds to sound wise but doesn't mean anything. If you usually only drink a couple drinks at dinner or on the weekend because you normally have to be in your cute little grey cubicle in the middle of Whogivesashitville, USA at 7-8am the next morning and you decide to drink like island local one or two nights on vacation, you're going to feel like crap. It doesn't matter if its all beer, or vodka or whiskey, if you drink a bunch of anything and you're not used to it, it will suck.

You sound tense, maybe you need a drink

 

[joeyrupption]

You're a bartender in one of the lamest locales in the country.

It's like complaining about being a pedicurist at a gout clinic.

Have you not seen Jimmy Buffet fans before?

 

[Century Cat]

Or OR....someone on a two month sabbatical from work that just got hours of entertainment out of this ridiculous thread on a Monday.

No crappy Sunday or anything just wanted to post that and see what happened. I didn't work weekends or nights because I don't like to have to schedule off for UK games and I like having that 1130-5 mon-fri schedule. Pretty sweet gig to be honest.

I'm jealous. You're in rarefied air. It takes a special person to get to the top of that mountain.

Not many people even dare to dream of the mind-boggling success you've had.

Only a select few are blessed with your special skill set, or are willing to endure the years of rigorous and competitive education it takes to reach such an exalted position of power and importance.

That's why there aren't many bartenders out there. That's a profession that really separates the wheat from the chaff.

 

[UKserialkiller]

Naturally, this thread has taken a nose-dive.

Rogue's starting to get a little preachy after what appears to be a crappy Sunday behind the bar.

Willy's about to start advocating for mary jane, that damn hippie. But can you blame him after this thread?

I tell you what we need. Weedtenders.

"Yo weedtender, can you hook me up with a refill on my bong?"

 

[starchief]

A word to the wise.

 

[LineSkiCat14]

A word to the wise.

Shotty all the way on the left..

 

[Kooky Kats]

A word to the wise.

8,2,5,7,10,3,4,6,1,9

 

[Tinker Dan]

This guy can handle multiples

 

[roguemocha]

You're a bartender in one of the lamest locales in the country.

It's like complaining about being a pedicurist at a gout clinic.

Have you not seen Jimmy Buffet fans before?

Lamest? You think that KW is one of the worst spots to bartend? Hmmmm....heavily disagree. I will say Jimmy Buffet fans are the worst of almost all people.[cheers]

 

[LineSkiCat14]

I'll tell yah, I'm getting pretty fed up with the IT grind lately. Wouldn't mind a career change. Bartending takes work, but it doesn't take mind-numbingly difficult problem solving. I'll gladly trade that for busy-body work.

60k+ a year at a top bar (after a few years and advanced training) isn't anything to scoff at.

 

[crazyqx83_rivals88013]

I bet rogue's girl dumped him and headed off for tampa with a new beau, after she heard him say for the 64th time that he would leave the keys after the next tourist season.

It's ok man. We're here for you. I mean... We don't genuinely give a **** about your troubles. But hell... It's a Monday in early August. What the **** else does 98% of The Paddock have better to do...

 

[joeyrupption]

If you can't find $60k/yr dicking around at a cushy software gig, you deserve to tend bar.

 

[80 Proof]

If bartending is your profession, you are a douche. Anyone with an ounce of competent skill moved on from slinging drinks by the age of 28.

 

[Get Buckets]

I'll tell yah, I'm getting pretty fed up with the IT grind lately. Wouldn't mind a career change. Bartending takes work, but it doesn't take mind-numbingly difficult problem solving. I'll gladly trade that for busy-body work.

60k+ a year at a top bar (after a few years and advanced training) isn't anything to scoff at.

Roguemurse claims to make over 6 figures fyi.

 

[thabigbluenation]

Roguemurse claims to make over 6 figures fyi.

that is because he is "letting" the gays blow him after hours for a fee, or vice versa.

 

[Hank Camacho]

If bartending is your profession, you are a douche. Anyone with an ounce of competent skill moved on from slinging drinks by the age of 28.

I have to be honest, I would love to work a couple of Friday or Saturday night shifts a month.

It would be nice to pick up a couple hundred cash to sling drinks and shoot the breeze with people every once in a while.

 

[80 Proof]

I have to be honest, I would love to work a couple of Friday or Saturday night shifts a month.

It would be nice to pick up a couple hundred cash to sling drinks and shoot the breeze with people every once in a while.

There is a big difference in moonlighting and making it your profession.

 

[TruBluCatFan]

Keep in mind this pertains to a high volume, high capacity bar.


1. Don't tell me your name unless I ask. There's 50+ people in here, I won't even try to remember unless you're really cool/interesting or tip well.


2. Don't order waters for everyone. I'm busy, I don't need busy work and I don't need to make 5 waters when only you want one. Also, if you order a water, touching drink it.


3. Know what you're drinking. This goes for everyone in your group. Don't flag me down and then say, "Ummmm I'll have a....what's good? Billy, what're you drinking? Stacy, you like those apple thingies, what are those?" If you don't know what you want, just ask for a Miller Lite or whateverthetouch and drink that til you decide. It's just A drink, not your last drink.


4. Know what you're drinking, part 2. If you ask for that one drink you had that one time at the Hilton or something in Punta Cana or wherever the last place you acted like a jackass was, guess what? I don't know their drink menu. Furthermore, if you're from god forbid, the Midwest or wherever and they have some drink called a Yellow Thunder Pecker in southwest Wisconsin, I PROBABLY don't know what's in that because I would never live there. So when you ask for one and I say, "I don't know what's in that, but I'd be happy to make one for you though. What's in it?", don't you dare look at me and say, "I don't know, you're the bartender." You're 25+, know what you're consuming, you half-grown baby man.


5. Don't order 7 different shots. I have to shake every goddamn one of those and that takes forever. Now you're just wasting everyone's time and I promise, you're not that important. Order one, MAYBE two different shots. I don't care that Tammy doesn't like Green Teas or that Steffany, spelled with two goddamn "F's", just can't do rum. She can pick the next round.


6. Don't split shots. THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I'm not explaining this. Order a WHOLE shot or don't.


7. Don't bring kids in to sit at the bar. You knocked someone up and have kids, now act like it. SItting at the bar time is over. Time to take that Titleist visor and walk your tucked in polo dad-bod over to the host stand and ask for a table, pops.


8. Don't say you don't want a food or drink menu and then proceed to ask me what we have. And if it's because you "didn't bring your readers" well gramps, maybe it's a little late for you to be out isn't it.


9. Don't ask the price of everything on the menu. First of all, it's on the menu. Secondly, if you have to ask you probably shouldn't be at the bar spending $4+ on a beer. I'm not going to give you the same deal Wimpy got from the hamburger place.


10. Don't pay 6 ways for one round. You're all friends, that's why you're out drinking together. Two people, preferably one buy the damn round and call it a day. Then rotate for the next round, pretty simple. When I have to spend 2 minutes running and printing 6 different CC receipts and then at some point putting them in the system, well, everyone else is waiting for drinks while you're busy being a poor.


11. Finally, if you even think about whistling I will take your drink, dump it on the floor and present you with your credit card receipt so fast it'll already be showing up on your iPhone wallet app before you even sign it. Honestly don't even wave at me. I'll be there when I finish what I'm doing. Do you wave at the teller at the bank while you're in line to let her know you need something?


Customers are the reason most good bartenders are backed up 9 out of 10 times. If you take 5 minutes to order, then everyone else at the bar is having to wait those 5 minutes as well. So do me and your fellow patrons a favor, follow these rules and I'm sure you'll be well on your way to poor decisions, handing me plenty of your hard earned cash and finally blacking out.


Don't thank me now, just hand me some cash when you come into the bar this weekend.

I wish I knew where you tended bar just so I could come do as many of those things as possible and not leave a tip.

 

[Nubb16]

I'm going into my second year of teaching and many many coworkers complain and I'm not really sure why they do. I have found getting paid while laying by the pool in the summer to be one of the sweeter things in life. Stressful job? Yes but I love it and can't understand a lot of the unhappiness by so many teachers this far. That's just from a guy who is just now starting his career. Hell. Maybe I'll hate my life in ten years?

 

[roguemocha]

There is a big difference in moonlighting and making it your profession.

Who cares what you do if you're making good money?

Live in the tropics, pushing 6 figures if not better depending on the bar, as much time as you want off any time of the year, zero take home work, tourists chicks galore, etc. What's douchey about that? I mean I don't want that forever but some do, let them have at it.

 

[roguemocha]

I'm going into my second year of teaching and many many coworkers complain and I'm not really sure why they do. I have found getting paid while laying by the pool in the summer to be one of the sweeter things in life. Stressful job? Yes but I love it and can't understand a lot of the unhappiness by so many teachers this far. That's just from a guy who is just now starting his career. Hell. Maybe I'll hate my life in ten years?

Probably after 10 years of raising other people's children and topping out at 45K it would get a little old.

 

[Kooky Kats]

It seems that we got off easy with only 12 rules. This cranky bartender has 53 but at least she is concise.

http://matadornetwork.com/nights/53-things-youre-totally-annoy-bartender/

After reading about 3 of the 53, I want to kick that chick in the ghunt.

 

[drxman1]

Who cares what you do if you're making good money?

Live in the tropics, pushing 6 figures if not better depending on the bar, as much time as you want off any time of the year, zero take home work, tourists chicks galore, etc. What's douchey about that? I mean I don't want that forever but some do, let them have at it.

Live in the tropics, pushing what?

 

[Kooky Kats]

Neuro ICU???? Ummm, EVERYONE there is basically unconcsious, brain dead or sedated.

Kinda like behind a bar, no?

 

[Get Buckets]

Stressful job? Yes

 

[WayneDougan_rivals170043]

Do you really like bartending or do just like making easy money?