It seems like baseball is slowly dying. I probably haven't really emotionally invested myself in a full game since the early 2000s, and attendance is consistently dropping. These ideas might be a little out there, but I'm just tossing out some things that might help keep the game relevant for the Fortnite generation:
1. Mic up the pitcher and batter: Remember in "BASEketball" how you'd have a guy talking **** to try and psyche out the batter? Steeeeve Perry! Let's mic up the pitcher and batter and let the **** talk flow. Here comes my heater, you tiny pecker eater! as the pitcher goes into his windup. *Wild screaming in incoherent Spanish, for what we can only assume is lots of swearing* as the overweight Dominican at the plate angrily awaits the pitch and digs in. Oh, foul ball! Let's do it again. Ratings goldmine.
2. Get rid of the national anthem and God Bless America: Do we really need to hear the national anthem every single time before each of the one hundred and sixty f'n two games they play? I don't think so. Reserve that **** for the playoffs. And God Bless America is nationalistic trash anyways, we don't need to be reminded again in the seventh inning stretch that we're in America after already listening to the national anthem just a couple of hours before. And get rid of the seventh inning stretch to begin with. They talk about finding ways to shorten to the game, right? Boom, here you go.
3. More personality from the players: It's often joked that Mike Trout, the best player in the game, probably wouldn't be recognized by most people at the airport. That's a problem. Put in contractual incentives for star players to be more visible and fashionable. Most baseball players dress like guys who still watch Scarface on DVD (and even still watch DVDs lol). I mean, who the hell still wears a gold chain in 2019? Only baseball players, apparently. How cool would it be if Mike Trout had his own custom uniform? Or had his own fashion line like Kanye and had a different uniform for every day of the week? That'd be sick.
4. Themed events and activities in the stands: How do you get people back in the stands? How about themed activities and events? Say one night you have one big slumber party where fans who dress in PJs and bring blankets gets half off their tickets, and everyone snuggles up with each other during the game. And then the next night you have a big tickle fest, where the fans are encouraged to leave their seats and chase each other around the park tickling each other with glee during the game. And then the next night you have a huge game of tag. Endless possibilities.
Anyone else?
1. Mic up the pitcher and batter: Remember in "BASEketball" how you'd have a guy talking **** to try and psyche out the batter? Steeeeve Perry! Let's mic up the pitcher and batter and let the **** talk flow. Here comes my heater, you tiny pecker eater! as the pitcher goes into his windup. *Wild screaming in incoherent Spanish, for what we can only assume is lots of swearing* as the overweight Dominican at the plate angrily awaits the pitch and digs in. Oh, foul ball! Let's do it again. Ratings goldmine.
2. Get rid of the national anthem and God Bless America: Do we really need to hear the national anthem every single time before each of the one hundred and sixty f'n two games they play? I don't think so. Reserve that **** for the playoffs. And God Bless America is nationalistic trash anyways, we don't need to be reminded again in the seventh inning stretch that we're in America after already listening to the national anthem just a couple of hours before. And get rid of the seventh inning stretch to begin with. They talk about finding ways to shorten to the game, right? Boom, here you go.
3. More personality from the players: It's often joked that Mike Trout, the best player in the game, probably wouldn't be recognized by most people at the airport. That's a problem. Put in contractual incentives for star players to be more visible and fashionable. Most baseball players dress like guys who still watch Scarface on DVD (and even still watch DVDs lol). I mean, who the hell still wears a gold chain in 2019? Only baseball players, apparently. How cool would it be if Mike Trout had his own custom uniform? Or had his own fashion line like Kanye and had a different uniform for every day of the week? That'd be sick.
4. Themed events and activities in the stands: How do you get people back in the stands? How about themed activities and events? Say one night you have one big slumber party where fans who dress in PJs and bring blankets gets half off their tickets, and everyone snuggles up with each other during the game. And then the next night you have a big tickle fest, where the fans are encouraged to leave their seats and chase each other around the park tickling each other with glee during the game. And then the next night you have a huge game of tag. Endless possibilities.
Anyone else?
