I’ve got a bad, bad 2 year old. Please help me.

DSmith21

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I have a terrible two year old who is always getting into everything. Whenever he misbehaves I just shoot him with a squirt bottle rather than ever put an angry hand on him. He usually stops the undesired behavior immediately. Note: my two year old is an English Setter but it might work on your kid too.
 
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Nubb16

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Since we know Benedryl didn’t work: bust his *** damn it.

Seriously tho a 2 year old can be a real little **** and that’s nothing unordinary. I have some pretty extensive training when it comes to children with disabilities though. I know you mentioned some sensory issues. At a young age if something like that is already diagnosed then there can be some possible outcomes. What type of sensory processing issues are we talking? If the child isn’t sleeping more than an hour at a time, even at night time then that could be very stressful for you and the child as he is not getting the needed maintence to his body that he requires. I could possibly help you with some strategies to implement but from my experience every child is different and certain strategies do not work where others do and sometimes it is trial and error as well as the fact that things may get worse before they get better.
 

catsfanbgky

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NEXT TIME HE PISSES, TIE HIM TO THE BED OR COUCH, WHATEVER HE PISSED ON. THAT WILL DEFINITELY GET HIS ATTENTION. HE IS PROBABLY DOING THOSE THINGS FOR ATTENTION ANYWAY.

he probably cries to get his way also. the minute he gets what he wants, the tears stop falling.
 
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morgousky

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Am i a bad person that I laughed so hard I almost pissed myself ? Damn Morg , mine waited til 14-15 to start the torture thing , one even waited til 18 or so . FWIW both are fine now but nothing upsets the cart like difficult situations with your kids .

I do like the one guys advice . Never strike out while angry .. Prob not going to do any good to beat him . ( buts its tempting) Maybe he needs more time with momma ?? LOL

Lastly Do you look like Trump ? He might have thought you requested it ??? LOL

Id be gay for trump if it were an option.
 
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morgousky

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Since we know Benedryl didn’t work: bust his *** damn it.

Seriously tho a 2 year old can be a real little **** and that’s nothing unordinary. I have some pretty extensive training when it comes to children with disabilities though. I know you mentioned some sensory issues. At a young age if something like that is already diagnosed then there can be some possible outcomes. What type of sensory processing issues are we talking? If the child isn’t sleeping more than an hour at a time, even at night time then that could be very stressful for you and the child as he is not getting the needed maintence to his body that he requires. I could possibly help you with some strategies to implement but from my experience every child is different and certain strategies do not work where others do and sometimes it is trial and error as well as the fact that things may get worse before they get better.

We’ve had him generally checked. My cousin is a pediatrician. Says he’s totally normal except for delayed speech. Called it sensory or some sht I might have it backwards I don’t know. Said he’ll be fine. All cognitive is good.

He manipulates. He seems smart, except for delayed speech and I’m beginning to wonder if he’s doing it on purpose
 

mhroe1984

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Not trying to be that guy but I’ve got a bad 2 year old and I’m out of options. My 5 year old is a treasure, caused no problems and seems near perfect. Figured the second would be around the same, but he’s polar opposite. My dad went the belt route and I’m trying my best to be as non old school as possible but my tolerance is running out.

He’s got sensory which causes delayed speech. He’s totally normal otherwise.

But he will only sleep an hour at a time. He’s causing problems everyday. It’s causing bonding issues and lately I’ve found myself giving up and leaving him to her. I just can’t handle it anymore.

Last week for example I took a nap and he pissed all over me on the couch because he was mad that humans require sleep and dad is human. He literally stood over me and pissed on me. I can’t discuss everything he does because this post wouldn’t end.

No one has an answer. Anyone here been through similar? Benadryl did not work.

Please help me.

I’ve got a 3 year old and an almost 2 year old. I feel your pain brother.
 
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Cawood86_rivals

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Whatever you allow you will have to put up with. If you allow your child to pee on you without consequence it will only get worse.

You can't punish him for it now. He went understand what it's for. You better start though or the acts will get worse.

If the child doesn't have issues then he needs to know what is and what isn't acceptable. He also needs to know that he will be punished for wrongdoing.
 

JStaff21

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Man... that’s rough. Sorry to hear about your dilemma. Toddlers can be nightmares to deal with.

I give my daughter one warning when she’s acting up. After that I give her a timeout. If that doesn’t work I start taking toys away. One time it got bad enough that I threw a toy in the trash. It hasn’t got that bad since.

My daughter went through some rough (hitting her mom), odd (crying if we didn’t see her poop before it was flushed) and downright annoying (screeching af her brother) phases... but she never pissed on anyone at any age. She just turned 5 in June. 3 was worse than 2, 4 was a bit better than 3 if that’s any consolation.

Hope everything works out for you. Praying for the best for you and your family.
 
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Sounds like he has Oppositional Defiant Diorder. My GF owns a daycare and she has had children with this. It is usually occurs with kids with sensory issues or who are on the autism spectrum. Normally ABA therapy is recommended. Pediatricians aren't qualified to diagnose this. You need to have him checked out by a therapist. Just my two cents.
 

morgousky

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Sounds like he has Oppositional Defiant Diorder. My GF owns a daycare and she has had children with this. It is usually occurs with kids with sensory issues or who are on the autism spectrum. Normally ABA therapy is recommended. Pediatricians aren't qualified to diagnose this. You need to have him checked out by a therapist. Just my two cents.

Problem is he’ll do what I say a lot of the time.

“Jack, go to your room with your brother”.

Jack - OKAY (one of the few words he can say)

And he runs his little *** into the room.

Followed by immediately coming out of the room, rinse repeat.
 

BlueRaider22

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Every kid has a pressure point. You have to find it and manipulate the heck out of it.


For example, my daughter (age 7). You threaten her with a swat on the butt and she straightens right now. Put her in time out.....it works, but it's not nearly as effective because she doesn't mind doing nothing for periods of time.

Though you can spank my nephew (age 8)....he'll cry.....but his behavior won't change. But, my nephew hates.....hates....hates.....time outs. During TO's, he'll throw fits. For my TO's, I have the kid sit in facing the corner. My nephew tries to control the situation by playing with the baseboards, laying down, gentle hitting his head on the wall, etc. I will not allow this. When he's in the corner I sit with him dictating his every behavior. When he was younger I had to keep him in the corner while I sat over him for 30-40 minutes. It killed him.....and now his mom hates it because he minds me more than her. These days, just the threat of sitting in the corner does the job.


You've got to crush this before it gets worse. Find the pressure point (ipad, certain toys, etc) and squeeze.





A few more things:

1. You're dealing with a 2 yr old. He can be disciplined, but his brain isn't developed yet. Any modifications of behavior likely won't happen quickly. You have to be clear on your instructions and be consistent.

2. Like Dalton (Road House) said, "It'll get worse, before it gets better." When you find out how to punish him, he'll resist. He'll want to push back against authority....hoping you'll cave first. But you and your wife have to have each other's backs and be in it for the long haul. Maybe even take a few days off work to hammer things over a long wkend or something.
 

sluggercatfan

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Every kid has a pressure point. You have to find it and manipulate the heck out of it.


For example, my daughter (age 7). You threaten her with a swat on the butt and she straightens right now. Put her in time out.....it works, but it's not nearly as effective because she doesn't mind doing nothing for periods of time.

Though you can spank my nephew (age 8)....he'll cry.....but his behavior won't change. But, my nephew hates.....hates....hates.....time outs. During TO's, he'll throw fits. For my TO's, I have the kid sit in facing the corner. My nephew tries to control the situation by playing with the baseboards, laying down, gentle hitting his head on the wall, etc. I will not allow this. When he's in the corner I sit with him dictating his every behavior. When he was younger I had to keep him in the corner while I sat over him for 30-40 minutes. It killed him.....and now his mom hates it because he minds me more than her. These days, just the threat of sitting in the corner does the job.


You've got to crush this before it gets worse. Find the pressure point (ipad, certain toys, etc) and squeeze.





A few more things:

1. You're dealing with a 2 yr old. He can be disciplined, but his brain isn't developed yet. Any modifications of behavior likely won't happen quickly. You have to be clear on your instructions and be consistent.

2. Like Dalton (Road House) said, "It'll get worse, before it gets better." When you find out how to punish him, he'll resist. He'll want to push back against authority....hoping you'll cave first. But you and your wife have to have each other's backs and be in it for the long haul. Maybe even take a few days off work to hammer things over a long wkend or something.
This!!!!!! The more it festers the worse it will be as he gets older...as Barney Fife would say "you have to nip it in the bud, nip it!"
 
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BlueRaider22

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This!!!!!! The more it festers the worse it will be as he gets older...as Barney Fife would say "you have to nip it in the bud, nip it!"


Agreed.


And let me reiterate the point I made earlier. Assuming he doesn't have a mental problem.......his brain is not developed yet. His behavior is irrational.....partly because he hasn't learned how to behave, but also in part because his brain is not capable of rational behavior (in some respects).

So, when some people say, "It's just a phase your 2 yr old is going through." Well, in a manner of speaking they're right. Most toddlers will straighten up in time because their brains finally develop enough for them to progress......and, of course, they learn how to behave from your instruction.


This is important to remember so that you and your wife maintain some sanity. If you've already raised one good kid, then you'll probably be ok with this 2nd one once you've learned how to guide/discipline him.
 

gollumcat

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Some here have understandably offered up the possibility that the kid , to put it in indelicate terms, "has a screw loose".

I take a different approach. I think the kid is advanced .

I mean, what other 2 year old understands both figuratively and literally the meaning of the colloquialism, "Piss on you!".......?

And then has the faculties to put it into practice.

Hmmm? Hmmmmmh?
 

rmattox

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Develop rules stated in a positive way. Have as many rules as you need. By positive, instead of saying "We don't pee on people", say " We only pee in the commode". When he violates the rule, the logical consequence is to: 1. Stay calm (in computer mode; 2. Have him wipe it up; 3. Sit him on the commode until he pees. (hold him there if necessary). 4. When he pees, even a couple of drops, give him a hug , good-boys, etc.... Then go about your and his business as if nothing happened.
Be consistent. It's not the severity of the consequence that necessarily does the trick.
Use behavior specific praise: " Good boy for peeing in the commode".

Like someone said, he may also need your attention. With a two year old, that may mean little napping time, tv time, etc...

You said he has sensory problems. I agree with the poster that said to take him to see a child therapist. Even then, the key to change will lie on your behaviors.

Some thoughts from the program I use with parent; identifies two year olds as "The Boss"
Wants to try new things alone, Gets angry/throws tantrums when does not get his way; Gets frustrated and angry when he can't do things on his own; Tests everything including rules, your limits
They hate going to bed (Story times are important, sometimes LONG story times. (Make going to bed a calm time that's something to look forward to).


Good luck!.
 
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BBUK_anon

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Google it... Our children have problems with their children. My wife tells them what to do. (Three children's worth.) my children tell my wife she doesn't understand, Google says to do this...(Of course it is also some young mother on Google giving the advice.) Makes perfect sense to me.....
 
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Pickle_Rick

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#1) quit trying to be his buddy. Parent his ***. Children want boundaries. And when you establish them, they will push at them. Then there has to be consequences.

2) outline what those consequences are, and do them. My wife always threatened to spank her daughter, if the daughter did this or that. But she only spanked her when after several provocations, my wife lost her temper. When I got involved with them I told the daughter, don't do this or that. She did something in a restaurant and I told her not to. She looked at me, and did it again. I jumped up, and she jumped up, and ran, because she knew I was gonna spank her right then and there. She thought she could get away with it because we were kn a public place. I had spanked her once, early in the relationship. Told her not do something, she did, and I swatted her on the ***, once. She looked at me in shock, and surprise, "That hurt!" she said. "It is supposed to." I replied. From then on, she knew I wasn't playing any games, and what I said was law. Never had a lick of trouble out of her since.

3) never punish when angry. Sit 5 minutes if you have to.
 
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catsfanbgky

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I have been mostly joking on the post in this thread , but on a serious note.

My wife and I take care of a 19 month old baby that his mother wants nothing to do with him. It is my 24 year old sons girlfriends cousins baby (whew). He is just a great kid. I feel so sorry for him. I have spoken with the mother and told her, keep the check he gets, i do not want it. But let us take care of the boy.

On thing he does is cry to get what he wants, everything. When you are holding him and set him down, if he does not want to be put down, he cries and throws a tantrum. My wife gives in. It took me time but i convinced her to watch something i had done while she was not around. The next time he did it, i said "let he lay in the floor and cry, he will eventually figure out he is not going to get his way." After about 5 minutes of crying, he stops and gets up and goes back to playing and no crying. The key is do not give in, it hurts watching him cry, but for the better.
 

bbn-n-phx

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It’s probably related to his delayed speech and not being able to communicate his needs.

My 2 year old had similar problems (not as bad as what you described, but causing problems and totally different than our 4 year old. We worked with our pediatrician and First Steps KY. He ended up qualifying for the early intervention and having weekly visits in home with a speech therapist. In the 9 months working with the speech therapist he has gone from being behind in speech to actually being advanced for his age, and the behavior issues are almost completely gone except for typical 2 year old behavior.

Here’s a link to First Steps if you live in Kentucky. Your pediatrician can help you with the process.

https://chfs.ky.gov/agencies/dph/dmch/ecdb/Pages/firststeps.aspx
 

kevcat

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MarvinHagler89

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Time to go the belt way. He’s your son but anyone that pisses on you, needs a little discipline. Some are just bad, doesn’t bode well for the future I’m afraid. Is he smart for his age?
 

WildMoon

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damn, that is rough.

To be honest, this should be discussed with a legit professional. You got some ****** up **** going on there.

Not to be rude, but its never just one side of things...
 

Supercat67

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I really think you should step it up a notch and go ahead and just **** on the little punk .
THEN rub his face in it .

That’ll show him who’s boss !