Toggle sidebar

I just took a popsicle back with me to the crapper... how gross am I?

I

It'saDoneDeal

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2007
19,233
4,379
113
So I had just opened up a popsicle as a post-meal treat, and as I'm walking back from the fridge I felt those tiny bungus demons scratching and clawing at my walls. It was clear: my daily deposit was needed, and quick.

So I saunter on back to the toilet and plop down, and it didn't really hit me until I sat down that I still had the popsicle in hand. There wasn't anywhere to sit it and you know those things melt quick. So I just sat there licking away while I plopped out some truly nasty tar biscuits. Now, this wasn't some Mississippi mud butter or some steamy hot poopie kaka that slides out you like a sneaky fart in the breeze, no this was something much more sinister and, um, gravitationally worrisome. These were fully grown prairie dogs, and they were hungry. It was like one of King Kong's fingers coming out of me in sections. Would it ever end? I was sitting there humming "No one man should have all that power/The clock's tickin' I just count the hours" as more and more of the churdy wonders kept pouring out of me like I was some great geyser.

I've heard that those turd particles get airborne, but I didn't taste anything different with the popsicle. I did finish it up before I started wiping (and I don't even want to get into what a saga that was as I'm someone who can't quit wiping until that TP is pristine). How gross am I? Was my cherry popsicle actually a fudge stick? Has anyone else ever, I don't know, eaten a bologna sandwich or something while on the can?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Anon1711055878
C

chroix

New member
Jul 22, 2013
10,018
25,203
0
 
  • Like
  • Haha
Reactions: MegaBlue05, wildcatwelder_rivals, BC_Wader and 3 others
LineSkiCat14

LineSkiCat14

Well-known member
Aug 5, 2015
37,308
57,140
113
Everyone has a weird bathroom habit.

I never lift the toilet seat because the underside of the seat, and the thought of reaching under to lift it, grosses me out. If I pee on the seat I just wipe it off with TP. Religiously. Only time I forget is if I'm really drunk. Imo, someone's buttcheeks touching my pee is far less problematic than my hands touching the same..

.. Mods, if you feel this deserves a temp ban, I'd be OK with it..
 
  • Haha
  • Like
Reactions: HagginHall1999, wildcatwelder_rivals, CatOfDaVille and 4 others
D

DSmith21

New member
Mar 27, 2012
8,297
13,023
0
Why would you want to eat with the strong smell of excrement in the air? It's like eating a meal next to a table full of smokers. It totally interferes with the taste of your meal.
 
U

UKGrad93

New member
Jun 20, 2007
17,437
22,789
0
There was some guy that used to post on here that mentioned eating McDs while on the throne.

 
I

It'saDoneDeal

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2007
19,233
4,379
113
DSmith21 said:
Why would you want to eat with the strong smell of excrement in the air? It's like eating a meal next to a table full of smokers. It totally interferes with the taste of your meal.
Click to expand...

It was a pretty weird sensation. I had the chill of the frozen popsicle in my mouth at the same time of feeling the sweet warmth of release from my butthole. I may have to try it again. Thinking back, it was... intoxicating.
 
  • Haha
Reactions: MegaBlue05
I

It'saDoneDeal

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2007
19,233
4,379
113
UKGrad93 said:
There was some guy that used to post on here that mentioned eating McDs while on the throne.

Click to expand...

I could definitely get down with some chicky nuggies with some honey mustard sauce while on the throne. I could probably take down a whole 20 pack in one sitting.
 
H

HymanKaplan_rivals48997

New member
Aug 14, 2001
37,578
60,327
0
LineSkiCat14 said:
Everyone has a weird bathroom habit.

I never lift the toilet seat because the underside of the seat, and the thought of reaching under to lift it, grosses me out. If I pee on the seat I just wipe it off with TP. Religiously. Only time I forget is if I'm really drunk. Imo, someone's buttcheeks touching my pee is far less problematic than my hands touching the same..

.. Mods, if you feel this deserves a temp ban, I'd be OK with it..
Click to expand...
That is why I installed a urinal in the spare bathroom.
 
I

It'saDoneDeal

Well-known member
Jul 24, 2007
19,233
4,379
113
I had this memory of some MTV Cribs episode where someone put in a golden urinal in their bathroom, but I think I'm just making that up as the only thing I can find is that Birdman paid something stupid like $1M to have a golden toilet installed in his home. I can't imagine it's comfortable.

 
C

CatOfDaVille

New member
Mar 30, 2007
6,173
8,100
0
Wesley91581 said:
Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode when George takes the book to the bathroom then has to pay for it
Click to expand...
That one or the one where he takes his shirt all the way off to take a dump and forgets it's still off because he was focused on a 3D picture. That show really never gets old.
 
  • Like
Reactions: birdforbogey
C

CatOfDaVille

New member
Mar 30, 2007
6,173
8,100
0
My wife gives me **** for taking my bourbon in the bathroom when I do my business, but that's where it ends. Never food. Any food that touches bathroom air is tainted and unclean. Alcohol doesn't count though as it kills the germs 😉.
 
LineSkiCat14

LineSkiCat14

Well-known member
Aug 5, 2015
37,308
57,140
113
Ha, I got another good one.

I worked at an Irish bar in the Bronx during college, in a area filled with Irish immigrants and tons of other irish bars. IDK what caused it, likely college cafeteria food.. maybe the pregame.. but I'd have terrible ***** during my shifts (promoter, doorman, etc), and all the bathrooms opened out into the bar. SO I really couldn't go there, but mostly caused I work there.

So I got in this habit, of running across the street, to another irish bar, ordering a shot and a beer, and then having explosive ***** for 10 minutes. Then I'd come out, have my shot and a beer, and then head back to my work. The worst part was that this other bar was ALWAYS empty, so it was obvious I either was pooping, or was doing cocaine in the bathroom.
 
  • Like
Reactions: It'saDoneDeal
V

vhcat70

New member
Feb 5, 2003
57,418
38,482
0
The stick can serve a duel purpose but your hand would get pretty cold.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom