* That our coach is an offensive genius.
* That we will finish the season with an 8-4 record.
* That we have a "great defense" that could never give up 139 points in 3 games.
* That we would never run the QB draw on 3rd-and-goal from outside the 10.
* That if we would fire our coach we'd never win another game.
* That we are recruiting 4- and 5-star recruits to keep up with Baylor, Oklahoma, Texas, TCU, Oklahoma Lite, etc.
* That season-ticket sales will skyrocket next year.
* That we have a strong-armed quarterback who never underthrows receivers on deep routes.
* That our special teams coach owns the junior college recruiting scene.
* That our "great defense" would never give up more touchdowns than the number of punts they force during a 3-game stretch.
* That Pitt is having another horsecrap season because it changed coaches, and we all know that programs don't get better when they change coaches.
* We have the best pass-blocking offensive line in football.
* That our coach would never waste redshirt seasons for two backup quarterbacks so that they could play running back and wide receiver.
* That our coach can outcoach their coach.
* That our coach finally has all his recruits on the team, so we'll never have excuses after a loss.
* That we will always double-cover the opponent's best receiver.
* That our football program is not a clown show.
* That we will never win at Oklahoma or Baylor but, hey, that's OK because we're not supposed to beat ranked teams on the road.
* Our special teams have never blundered a play like Michigan did today.
* That knowledgeable football people still consider us a national power.
* That we're a good offense in the red zone.
* That there's always next year.
* That we will finish the season with an 8-4 record.
* That we have a "great defense" that could never give up 139 points in 3 games.
* That we would never run the QB draw on 3rd-and-goal from outside the 10.
* That if we would fire our coach we'd never win another game.
* That we are recruiting 4- and 5-star recruits to keep up with Baylor, Oklahoma, Texas, TCU, Oklahoma Lite, etc.
* That season-ticket sales will skyrocket next year.
* That we have a strong-armed quarterback who never underthrows receivers on deep routes.
* That our special teams coach owns the junior college recruiting scene.
* That our "great defense" would never give up more touchdowns than the number of punts they force during a 3-game stretch.
* That Pitt is having another horsecrap season because it changed coaches, and we all know that programs don't get better when they change coaches.
* We have the best pass-blocking offensive line in football.
* That our coach would never waste redshirt seasons for two backup quarterbacks so that they could play running back and wide receiver.
* That our coach can outcoach their coach.
* That our coach finally has all his recruits on the team, so we'll never have excuses after a loss.
* That we will always double-cover the opponent's best receiver.
* That our football program is not a clown show.
* That we will never win at Oklahoma or Baylor but, hey, that's OK because we're not supposed to beat ranked teams on the road.
* Our special teams have never blundered a play like Michigan did today.
* That knowledgeable football people still consider us a national power.
* That we're a good offense in the red zone.
* That there's always next year.