I have the transcript from our conversation right here.
DM13: Hey Larr
LT: Oh Dear Lord, what do you want
DM13: Larr is that anyway to talk to an old friend
LT: I thought I told you to never call me again. Who let you through. I told them I never wanted to hear your voice.
DM13: Dont worry Larr, I told them I was Spurrier and they let me through. I do a great impression (DM13 doing very bad Spurrier impression) I just want to be the ball coach, let me (interruption by LT)
LT: What could you possibly want?
DM13: I am glad you finally asked. I am calling about the coaching vacancy.
LT: We dont have a need for a softball coach. I have told you many times before we are very happy with Coach Miller and we feel he is taking the program in the right direction.
DM13: Larr, I am talking about the head football coach
LT: Football? I thought you were a legendary softball coach. You only lost one game. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.
DM13: I see you did get my emails and letters
LT: Oh yeah the emails, the letters, the newspaper clippings, the countless voice mails
DM13: Ever heard of returning a message
LT: so football coach huh, I dont have another massage and waxing till 2:00 so humor me a bit. What qualifications do you have as a football coach?
DM13: None
LT: None so what makes you think you should be our next football coach.
DM13: Well Larr, I coach football a lot like I coach softball. I just put the right people in the right position to make the plays. I believe in filling the seats and no free tickets to anyone. I want more skyboxes and I absolutely despise the cowbell
LT:Interesting
DM13: Oh yeah, I dont do alumni events. That is what assistants are for. I dont talk to old people or shake their hands. I find that disgusting and there is no way those old farts are on the same level as distinguished men as us.
LT: I really like what I hear, tell me who else is on board with you.
DM13: Heydog and Dawgstudent of course
LT: of course the two ringmasters
DM13: also crackerdog
LT: Noooo not Mr. Smartypants
DM13: yep and extremdog and squintdog
LT: Hate em
DM13: you hate about everybody
LT: true, oh wait what about QUIT BEGGIN
DM13: oh yeah him and his brother
LT: He makes me sick but he really has laid off my case
DM13: well it is no use you will never retire
LT: This is true
DM13: I also will find something for dawgpoud11, pimpdoggie, espndawg
LT: let me guess Willie13
DM13: Uh yeah who else will back us up financially?
LT: Good point, what about Ireland, he is such an
DM13: definitely him and his posse, I am going to try find spots for about everyone on the board, even Mutt
LT: Oh no, is he mentally stable
DM13: probably not but was Joe Lee
LT: Good point, I see one problem though
DM13: whats that Larr
LT: I hate you and the rest of your band of merry men. I think you are a bunch of punks and trouble makers. Why in the hell would I hire you over men who have actually coached the game and have I dont know EXPERIENCE
DM13: Whoa calm down big daddy. I thought about this. You hate us dont you?
LT: every single one of you
DM13: you hate the page dont you?
LT: I despise it. It makes me vomit. You guys are sick
DM13: well if we are coaching football and in your payroll, we will not have time to badmouth you anymore
LT: thats a good point. I was very surprised to get your call mostly because I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR TO NEVER CALL AGAIN but you have made some interesting points. I am going to tell Dr. Lee about this and we will find out just how serious you are.
DM13: We want the job.
LT: We will be in touch:
DM13: So I can call you back
LT: I never said that. I will contact you. Dont ever call me back. Actually I have all you imbeciles numbers. You would be surprised how much I post I mean read your filthy board. I will be in touch.
DM13: Hey I didn't think you had time to read internet message boards.
LT: Good Day
DM13: Hey Larr
LT: Oh Dear Lord, what do you want
DM13: Larr is that anyway to talk to an old friend
LT: I thought I told you to never call me again. Who let you through. I told them I never wanted to hear your voice.
DM13: Dont worry Larr, I told them I was Spurrier and they let me through. I do a great impression (DM13 doing very bad Spurrier impression) I just want to be the ball coach, let me (interruption by LT)
LT: What could you possibly want?
DM13: I am glad you finally asked. I am calling about the coaching vacancy.
LT: We dont have a need for a softball coach. I have told you many times before we are very happy with Coach Miller and we feel he is taking the program in the right direction.
DM13: Larr, I am talking about the head football coach
LT: Football? I thought you were a legendary softball coach. You only lost one game. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah.
DM13: I see you did get my emails and letters
LT: Oh yeah the emails, the letters, the newspaper clippings, the countless voice mails
DM13: Ever heard of returning a message
LT: so football coach huh, I dont have another massage and waxing till 2:00 so humor me a bit. What qualifications do you have as a football coach?
DM13: None
LT: None so what makes you think you should be our next football coach.
DM13: Well Larr, I coach football a lot like I coach softball. I just put the right people in the right position to make the plays. I believe in filling the seats and no free tickets to anyone. I want more skyboxes and I absolutely despise the cowbell
LT:Interesting
DM13: Oh yeah, I dont do alumni events. That is what assistants are for. I dont talk to old people or shake their hands. I find that disgusting and there is no way those old farts are on the same level as distinguished men as us.
LT: I really like what I hear, tell me who else is on board with you.
DM13: Heydog and Dawgstudent of course
LT: of course the two ringmasters
DM13: also crackerdog
LT: Noooo not Mr. Smartypants
DM13: yep and extremdog and squintdog
LT: Hate em
DM13: you hate about everybody
LT: true, oh wait what about QUIT BEGGIN
DM13: oh yeah him and his brother
LT: He makes me sick but he really has laid off my case
DM13: well it is no use you will never retire
LT: This is true
DM13: I also will find something for dawgpoud11, pimpdoggie, espndawg
LT: let me guess Willie13
DM13: Uh yeah who else will back us up financially?
LT: Good point, what about Ireland, he is such an
DM13: definitely him and his posse, I am going to try find spots for about everyone on the board, even Mutt
LT: Oh no, is he mentally stable
DM13: probably not but was Joe Lee
LT: Good point, I see one problem though
DM13: whats that Larr
LT: I hate you and the rest of your band of merry men. I think you are a bunch of punks and trouble makers. Why in the hell would I hire you over men who have actually coached the game and have I dont know EXPERIENCE
DM13: Whoa calm down big daddy. I thought about this. You hate us dont you?
LT: every single one of you
DM13: you hate the page dont you?
LT: I despise it. It makes me vomit. You guys are sick
DM13: well if we are coaching football and in your payroll, we will not have time to badmouth you anymore
LT: thats a good point. I was very surprised to get your call mostly because I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR TO NEVER CALL AGAIN but you have made some interesting points. I am going to tell Dr. Lee about this and we will find out just how serious you are.
DM13: We want the job.
LT: We will be in touch:
DM13: So I can call you back
LT: I never said that. I will contact you. Dont ever call me back. Actually I have all you imbeciles numbers. You would be surprised how much I post I mean read your filthy board. I will be in touch.
DM13: Hey I didn't think you had time to read internet message boards.
LT: Good Day
