Upon further consideration I have determined that the scariest mammal on the planet at present time would have to be the pox-riddled monkey.
Mammal battle royale
- Thread starter JonathanW_rivals
- Start date
Is there any human on earth that could fight a chimpanzee and win?
My opinion? Absolutely not.
My opinion? Absolutely not.
if you're just going with one big cat, a Siberian tiger would have a much better chance. 1 on 1, that tiger is sending the lion home in a box.
Bats. One bite and the elephant will succumb to rabies or Ebola or corona. Really at worst a bat would be a stalemate for any mammal. Bat will feed on grizzly blood until the griZzly starves to death.
Without weapons, 1 on 1 we'd basically be bush meat for many animals.
-in an arena for sure...but when you think about how we adapted, evolved and survived its amazing. We generally have one kid at a time(per year) and are prone to miscarriages and delivery complications.
^my wife had an emergency C section in 2001 with our first (9 lbs 22 inches), lost a bunch of blood. Our neighbor at the time was the retired head of obstetrics at UK...said if it had happened 30 years ago I would be a childless widow. Now think about birthing a kid on the savanna 10000 years ago. It's truly amazing.
^my wife had an emergency C section in 2001 with our first (9 lbs 22 inches), lost a bunch of blood. Our neighbor at the time was the retired head of obstetrics at UK...said if it had happened 30 years ago I would be a childless widow. Now think about birthing a kid on the savanna 10000 years ago. It's truly amazing.
This thread has reminded me of the morbidly hilarious video of the Chinese freak-show circus where the bear riding a bicycle around a track ate the monkey in front of a stadium packed with people. I can't remember who it was, but that thread had one of the greatest posts ever (paraphrasing), "I guess there really is no wrong way to eat a Rhesus." 
This thread has reminded me of the morbidly hilarious video of the Chinese freak-show circus where the bear riding a bicycle around a track ate the monkey in front of a stadium packed with people. I can't remember who it was, but that thread had one of the greatest posts ever (paraphrasing), "I guess there really is no wrong way to eat a Rhesus."
Kumail Nanjiani has a good comedy bit about a birthday party that he went to which had a mongoose and a snake fight. (Pakistan) The fight lasted 15 minutes and everyone just stood in silence as the mongoose just shredded the snake into pieces and finally bit off its head.
I had to go with hippos. They kill more humans than any other mammal. They own the water and can still come out and kill you on land. Can run double the speed of an average man in short distances. How would they fare against an elephant? They could keep the elephant from getting to water and when the elephant gets weak from dehydration or becomes desperate for water the hippo could strike.
Surprised noone started a spinoff thread: mammary battle royal.
Seems like a missed opportunity.
Seems like a missed opportunity.
This thread has reminded me of the morbidly hilarious video of the Chinese freak-show circus where the bear riding a bicycle around a track ate the monkey in front of a stadium packed with people. I can't remember who it was, but that thread had one of the greatest posts ever (paraphrasing), "I guess there really is no wrong way to eat a Rhesus."
There we have it, bears in easy win over monkeys in a first round match.
Another thread idea: same idea but the weight of the participants on each side has to be equal. One elephant vs. three hippos. One grizzly vs. five chimps. One Rhino vs. fourteen dudes.
I posed this scenario to rudd:
You and a fully grown chimpanzee are 75 feet apart. Between you, on the ground, is a 9mm pistol. the clip is out but loaded. The gun is 15 feet from you (60 feet from the chimp)
Can you get to that gun, pop the clip, rack it and shoot before the chimp tears your face off?
I'll hang up and listen.
You and a fully grown chimpanzee are 75 feet apart. Between you, on the ground, is a 9mm pistol. the clip is out but loaded. The gun is 15 feet from you (60 feet from the chimp)
Can you get to that gun, pop the clip, rack it and shoot before the chimp tears your face off?
I'll hang up and listen.
Don't just think the distance is all that matters. You also have to be as cool as a cucumber to grab, load, rack and aim before the chimp is on you.
Not all people are like Llewelyn Moss.
I think I'm the only one in this thread that understands what a battle royal is. BTW, that would be on hell of a ring.
14,000lbs vs 2000lbs = ragdoll
I read that in Dwight Shrute's voice.
A lot of you guys are funny. If we're comparing a large male African Bush elephant against a large male of any other land mammal, it isn't close. From tip of trunk to tip of tail, the largest of elephants can be 30 feet long and 12 feet tall at the shoulders with 2 tusks each of which can reach 10 feet long and weigh 260lbs each.
That large elephant would come in at 16000lbs plus. Both tigers and lions top out around 700lbs. The largest bear is 2200lbs.
There is no single land mammal that is a real threat to the largest elephants.
That large elephant would come in at 16000lbs plus. Both tigers and lions top out around 700lbs. The largest bear is 2200lbs.
There is no single land mammal that is a real threat to the largest elephants.
Orcas on the other hand
who knew Mexico had a space force? South Park knew. That's who.
In one of the links I posted, it speaks of an elephant literally stomping a hippo to death.