Man Law - A Man's Home is his Castle

[chov1125]

I’ve found myself in similar positions with many of my teams, not just Duke. You’re out at a bar or at a party and some yuppie finds himself going bananas for the opposition. If I know the person I know he has no interest in the team, likely minimal interest in sports. If I don’t know the person I can tell he isn’t wearing any opposition gear he just hates my team or again just a casual sports fan.

I attribute a lot of it to this....We eat breathe and live sports. It consumes our lives, it’s our favorite pass-time, it’s our escape from the stresses of life. We take sports personally, hell we invest our lives into it. Reality is not everyone feels the same. Some wake up in the morning and don’t check espn or scoremobile or DI. They don’t start their day off by checking out what they missed during the 7 or 8 hours they were away from the sports world. I know, sounds crazy....and boring. The more you realize these people exist and are amongst us everywhere, the easier it may be to deal with the yuppies. They likely don’t realize they are being an *******, they likely think it’s no big deal.

Now the point of the thread added another variable, entering the host’s home. Sorry, can’t forgive the guy for that. If you are going to eat his chips, drink his booze, watch his tube, you show that guy some respect (Or girl). Dont know how personal it is, open your eyes, you’ll see. If you have a dog in the fight, go ahead and root, but don’t watch like an ***. If no dog in the fight, back the team that is hung all over the cave from top to bottom. If you don’t care, you shouldn’t mind rooting for either team. Open your eyes, use common sense and be aware of your surroundings, it’s not hard to see. And if that team loses, thank him for the free stuff and show yourself out. Sounds childish, you’re right, it is. But damnit not in my house! If I go to your house, eat your chips, drink your booze, watch your tube....I’ll bring the dip, throw out my bottles and pay you the same damn respect.

 

[Duke937]

I’ve never had it happen in my own home (I give you all kinds of credit for that) but Duke Basketball is sacred ground for me and has caused some interesting conflicts.

I mean countless things. Last bar fight was with a Kentucky fan. I’ve called off work to stay home and watch. Couple Friday’s ago met up with a girl I’ve known for a while at a bar, stayed at her place, woke up and panicked because Duke was playing GT at noon. Went to my mothers 50th birthday party Saturday, with my iPad in my hand so I could watch the game...

I’d much rather be at home in my recliner. With the dog on my lap. Nobody else understands that. Glad we have this board to discuss such things.

 

[dukiejay]

Do you know anyone that owns a pig farm and can keep a secret?

Hahaha....

 

[DiehardDukeFan4Life]

I prefer watching Duke games alone in my room because I tend to veg distracted if there are other people around which is why I hate when I have other plans when there’s s Duke game on even if there’s a tv at wherever my plans are. The last time I watched a game somewhere else where I really watched the game was several years ago and it was a NC State vs UNC, it was a close game so I was watching the game closely and pulling for NC State, a friend of mine was standing next to me that is a fellow Duke fan and she hates UNC as much as any Duke fan and she kept hitting me in the shoulder because we were both really into the game and hoping UNC was going to win. That’s part of the reason i prefer watching games at home because it’s easier on my shoulders than when I’m around female friends that really get into the game and have a tendency to punch/hit when they really get into the game. When I watch games alone in my room the only time anyone bothers me is when my mom or dad might come in and ask me who’s winning.

 

[bluedevilfan42]

Personally I can’t handle watching a game with anyone else around. No one close to me is as big of a fan as i am and I have little tolerance for questions or conversations about the game during the game. My directions to family and friends is don’t call me, don’t text me and sure as hell don’t come by and see me during a game.

 

[SwatX1]

I prefer to watch at home alone, unless we are playing ky, then I go to one of the local sports bars here.

 

[dukephysics]

If I invite people over to "watch the Duke game," the expectation is you root for Duke or keep your mouth shut. I have some very good friends who are UNC fans - they've never watched a Duke or UNC game at my house (and I've never watched either at their house). We gently rib each other after a victory (or loss) out of respect for one another.
My wife and her new brother-in-law spent the entire Super Bowl this year chatting with one another while I passive-aggressively kept turning the volume up on the TV to try to signal that they should shut up. He won't be watching any more games at my house that I'm interested in going forward (and she got a talking to when he left).
To the OP: at halftime I would have announced to the room "anyone rooting for UVA is welcome to watch the second half somewhere else. In my house, you root for Duke or sit quietly." It was pretty disrespectful what he did - so calling him out was the right thing to do.
I think it is absolutely reasonable to expect people in your home to adhere to "house rules." No shoes on, no dogs on the couch, no cheering against Duke. All reasonable expectations for people visiting your home.

 

[Deviled Egg]

My Question(s) for the group
A) Has this happened to you?
B) What was your reaction?
C) What do you feel is appropriate penance for the offender (BE CREATIVE)?

A) No
B) N/A
C) Do you live in NC? If so, read up on NC castle doctrine laws.

 

[SwatX1]

no dogs on the couch,

Dog hater

 

[dukephysics]

Dog hater

Haha. I have a dog. He has a spot on my couch that the wife and I always leave for him. (however, he is still a dog and will be told to get down if we have guests and a human needs that spot to sit down. And the first person that makes some comment in my house about "pets shouldn't be allowed on the furniture" will be shown the door)

 

[DukeDenver]

Nobody roots against Duke in my home, but that's because they know it's a life and death situation to do so.

I knew I could count on Show to lay down the law on this subject.

 

[1156jack]

I think he put you in a tough situation espcially since "Man Law", as you call it, or, as others would say "common curtesy" is open to interpretation. Though I might had acted exactly as you did there are a few questions I might ask myself to help me gain perspective:

1) Would I call him out if he was a massively muscled individual with a perpetual scowl on his face, just back from fighting in Afgansistan?
2) Would I call him out if he was the bosses son or someone else that I really needed a good relationship with to make something important to me work?
3) Would I call him out if he were really important to a relative that I have a deep family relationship with?

 

[LongTimeDukeFan]

Interesting situation on Saturday that occurred which made me wonder if it had happened to others on the Board. Because I busted a spring.....

So I hosted a party to watch the Duke - UVA Game and invited over friends and family (12 adults 4 kids). I provided Pizzas (4) and Wings (60), Chips, Pasta Salad, good beer (Troegs) as well as swill (Miller Lite) as well as Bourbon, Rum, Vodka etc. All on my dime, in my house etc.

Everyone in attendance knows from their personal knowledge, (not to mention the Duke Man Cave we were in) that I am a Duke Grad, and a DIE HARD and this game was important to me ...obvious as I hosted a watch party.

One of the guests (Sister-In-Law's long term BF), about 10 min into the game starts ACTIVELY rooting and cheering on the 'Hoos.???

NOW- here is my glitch. Boyfriend X has NO vested interest in Virginia, Is not from Virginia (from Pittsburgh), Has no relatives who attended UVA, Did not attend Virginia (went to PSU), dos not have a grandma or aunt named Virginia etc...you get the point.

He comes to my place, eats my food, drinks my booze etc and actively roots against me and my team... Does this violate some sort of Man law? I lost my damn mind at about the 2min mark until halftime (UVA cut it to five and he was whooping it up). Called him on it and that he was being an ignorant bastard for coming to my place, taking advantage of my hospitality and then actively rooting for my team to lose. I mean I was in his grill close enough to count cavities. Called him a few choice names and inquired if he had ever been in a locker room with Jerry Sandusky... He spent the rest of the night sulking in the dining room eating BBQ Chips...

After the game several of the other attendees agreed it was ******** for him to do that (all guys) but of course the wife's sister was chaffed. The wife doesn't care a bit..She doesn't like him much and knows I am in a better mood when Duke wins.

My Question(s) for the group
A) Has this happened to you?
B) What was your reaction?
C) What do you feel is appropriate penance for the offender (BE CREATIVE)?

Hey @Voldukie -- I guess I am an outlier here. You were wrong. You invited him. He is your guest. Your part of the social contract is to be a gracious host. His part is to not be an obnoxious d!ck. What happens if the guy is disrespectful? Let it go. Just let it go. Can't? Tell your sister-in-law to help her BF tone it down. Can't? Just grin and bear it. Would you have everyone fill out a survey before the party so that you know what everyone is thinking before hand? Probably not.

So the guy is rooting against Duke AND he has not connection to UVA AND he is doing in front of a lot of people who know that you are a BIG DUKE FAN. Chances are high that the guy is either a jerk in general OR he is trying to pay you back for some past wrong he feels you did. Maybe the guy was a little lite up before he got to the party -- alchol brings out the stupid in everyone. Maybe?

Penance? You and your wife take your sister-in-law and d!ckhead out to dinner. Say, "My bad, sorry...I take Duke games pretty seriously". If he accepts it, great. If not, you tried.

Being nice costs me very little -- I find I do better when I play the part of the nice guy. I'm not perfect and I am certainly no Mr. Cleaver, but when I think about how to conduct myself under adversity I often fall back on this Bible verse:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Taking the high road when someone is a jerk is often more satisfying for me. At dinner ask the guy, "so you know I am a Duke grad right, is there something that I did to piss you off". He could come back and say -- I thought Duke was going to win, I was just rooting for UVA just because no one else was in the room. When you got in my grill I just don't defensive.

Who knows? Who cares? Next time you invite guests over ask your sister-in-law if she and her BF want to come over. They might pass or try a re-set.

Just my thoughts -- sorry if it comes across as preachy.

For what it is worth -- this is why I watch the game by myself or with my wife. I tend to give a lot of coaching from afar that does not go over well in public venues.

 

[LetsGoDuke301]

I think he was a +1 of a guest that was invited. Not like he specifically invited the jerk.

 

[SwatX1]

Haha. I have a dog. He has a spot on my couch that the wife and I always leave for him. (however, he is still a dog and will be told to get down if we have guests and a human needs that spot to sit down. And the first person that makes some comment in my house about "pets shouldn't be allowed on the furniture" will be shown the door)

Mine sleeps with me and my wife in the bed!!
And I told I her when she moved in, Sophie was here first, and this is where she has slept for about 4 or 5 years now!! Fortunately for me and Sophie, she was ok with it!!