Thanks Warrior.
Yeah, learned a lot in these 30 days about myself within a relationship system. Always been a faithful and loyal guy. Learned it wasn't about the other chick. My wife is a strong *** woman. she's very structured and organized and is an Alpha female. She dominates the conversation. She never let me make plans or schedule anything "because I wasn't good at it". Then she would get on me about "not being more involved" in planning things.
This new girl comes along. She is a knock out and she deferred to me which was weird. She made me pick and choose what we did. And dammit it felt good to make the decisions for once. But then I realized I was looking for things in this new girl that I wished that I had in my wife. Sort of a ****** way to discover things, but I hope it works out
Willy, getting cheated on and its humiliation is difficult if not impossible for some people to get beyond. Especially if they are independent and don't "need" your emotional or financial support to get by. But actually most marriages can and do survive upheavals like yours. We just seldom learn about them in that the upheaval remains in house. It is determined by the offender's ability to demonstrate true sorrow and understanding of the hurt they caused, true regret for their stupidity and their convincing assurance that it will never happen again. And give them patience and time. We're not talking weeks or even months here.
On the other hand if she entertained secret wishes for her own freedom before this (which you would probably not know), you just presented her with a legitimate excuse to move on with little or no guilt. I guess you'll know soon enough.
If you should get back together you need to realize that the marriage you had before this is dead. It is never coming back.Trust is the foundation for any marriage relationship. We tell each other we love one another - and we believe it. We say we never want anyone else - and we believe it. That trust at the present is gone and very difficult to rebuild. Both of you will have to agree on building a new marriage and do everything courting couples do to deepen a relationship. Both of you have to want that.
I've always liked you, Willy. I think you truly are sorry for what you did and I hope you can get back with your wife.
I know I have no right to offer these words but here they are anyways.
I'll show myself to the door now.