I fought drugs and watched an entire colonoscopy. The second one I had they yanked out a monster polyp and didn’t cortorize the site well enough... 3 days in hospital and almost bled out.
HYSTERICAL!
hey, how’d Kook die... bloody poop storm.
N.O.B.
- Thread starter mashburned
- Start date
HYSTERICAL!
hey, how’d Kook die... bloody poop storm.
Best Reese's species? King Size Big Cup, hands down. Too bad I'm a changed man now.
Damn. You are filled with great insight, Mav. Thank you. Had no idea these existed.
I had a dream I met you, Mash. Just remember that you were a good dude and we smoked a bowl together.
that is all. That was the dream.
That’s pretty crazy. I hope we were in the Buc-ee’s spacious parking lot.
I saw the future home of Buc-ee’s. It’s a massive prime piece of dirt. Appeared to be guarded by some dude in a 1990 Toyota Tercel when I drove up there the other night. I don’t know the proposed finish date, but I imagine with construction costs, it might just be the most lavishly expensive Buc-ee’s ever constructed.
- Voted for MLB All Star game. Straight Reds and Yanks ticket, but damn it was depressing looking at those numbers (except for Judge and Castellanos).
- Probably said it before, but the athletics complex on and near Cooper in Lexington is something to behold. Even the marching band practice field is super nice.
- ….. BUT in the middle of all of it is Cliff Hagan stadium still. The baseball field is overgrown with weeds and it’s just an eyesore. Time for it to go.
- Think the fridge is dying. I haven’t bought one in 17 years and had forgotten how much they are. Might just get a simple white one for now and then it can become the garage or downstairs fridge someday when my ship comes in.
- Garage Door opener, dishwasher, and oven are all still kicking after 19 years. Guessing the oven goes next. #HomeOwnership
- Ready for the NBA finals. Thought it would be Suns v. Nets, but things are a bit out of wack now.
- Euro soccer championships are a good watch. I get why some folks don’t like it, but national pride just kicks it up another level for me.
- Stay cool, NOB.
- Probably said it before, but the athletics complex on and near Cooper in Lexington is something to behold. Even the marching band practice field is super nice.
- ….. BUT in the middle of all of it is Cliff Hagan stadium still. The baseball field is overgrown with weeds and it’s just an eyesore. Time for it to go.
- Think the fridge is dying. I haven’t bought one in 17 years and had forgotten how much they are. Might just get a simple white one for now and then it can become the garage or downstairs fridge someday when my ship comes in.
- Garage Door opener, dishwasher, and oven are all still kicking after 19 years. Guessing the oven goes next. #HomeOwnership
- Ready for the NBA finals. Thought it would be Suns v. Nets, but things are a bit out of wack now.
- Euro soccer championships are a good watch. I get why some folks don’t like it, but national pride just kicks it up another level for me.
- Stay cool, NOB.
I would smoke a bowl with you all and drink beer too.
Me too -- even light anesthesia really screws me up so I talked the gastro doc into letting me do one wide awake (I insisted on lube though. I ain't a complete psycho.). It was pretty fascinating to see the inside of your own colon in real time.
You're very welcome. Feel free to eat a couple.....dozen for me. My pancreas shall live vicariously through yours.
Some dude on the radio last week was talking about shortages of things due to the pandemic. He said there’s still a shortage of refrigerators. Also, they are mostly making stainless steel as it’s the best selling. He made it sound like a white fridge maybe harder to get now.
Re: Cliff Hagan Stadium
I was at the HS state track meet last week which is held at UK & I concur with funky...the facilities are really nice but that old baseball stadium with the weeds and such is a huge eye sore. I’m sure they are saving that space for something shiny & special in the future...but they should at least keep the weeds at bay in the meantime. Looks horrible.
Seems like they could have at least kept up that area and used it for something over the last 5-6 years. Even in a temporary capacity that space could have been used as a practice field, intramural sports, etc...
I was at the HS state track meet last week which is held at UK & I concur with funky...the facilities are really nice but that old baseball stadium with the weeds and such is a huge eye sore. I’m sure they are saving that space for something shiny & special in the future...but they should at least keep the weeds at bay in the meantime. Looks horrible.
Seems like they could have at least kept up that area and used it for something over the last 5-6 years. Even in a temporary capacity that space could have been used as a practice field, intramural sports, etc...
Can someone near Lexington get me the dimensions of the tiny pool off Garden Springs?
My neighbor just put in a small in ground pool and I need to know how it compares. I’m thinking I should buy her some mirror balls.
My neighbor just put in a small in ground pool and I need to know how it compares. I’m thinking I should buy her some mirror balls.
If you were there on Thursday then it was for A. I was there on Friday for AA. My daughter’s team won the state title!!!
C’mon, funky. You can do better than that. Get into stealth mode, scale the fence, sneak up to that mofo with a tape measure and give us the exact measurements!
Looks like about 18” x 10”? I may be dumb.
wtf did they do to their grass?
They pulled 7 polyps and the damn remote I was missing
The pool spilled over its flesh-eating acid onto the lawn.
I bought a new glove for slowly pitched church league softball.
Church softball..where athleticism goes to die
I can’t imagine a more worser sporting event.
WNBA? then women's soccer? maybe women's weight lifting.
As a spectator I can cuss and drink beer at those events. Wouldn't feel comfortable doing that at a church league event.
That’s why it’s entertaining. You have to hold in all the bad energy and translate that to dingers.
I'd rather let all my bad energy out (in the form of foul language).
M'fer!I quit church league years ago. In fact, I think I told the story of my last game in an old D-League post (maybe Funk could use his interweb skilz to somehow find that post cause it would be cool to see how consistent my memory is). For your amusement/enlightenment I shall attempt to tell the story again...
Though I can't remember the exact details, the gist of it is the umpire was a complete imbecile. A buddy had asked me to play for his church cause they were gonna be short, and their pastor was the coach. I was batting (I'm a lefty -- i.e. the way God intended people to hit) and the pitcher was standing on the far left side of the rubber (from the batter's perspective). This is important for the following reason: he threw a pitch that landed INSIDE the chalk line of the RIGHT side batter's box, which, of course, was a good 10-12" outside to a left-handed batter. STRIKE!!! (The reason it's important where the pitcher was standing is that it could not be argued that the ball "curved" or somehow crossed the plate before it hit the ground. It was a ball from the moment it left the pitcher's hand.)
I was both incredulous and furious. I called time, stepped out of the box, turned to the ump and said something like "are you freaking kidding me, you're calling that a strike?" in a loud, angry voice. (I actually used "freaking" instead of my preferred "f#cking" so, you know, kudos to me.) The ump, (mid 60's, been umping at that league for years) in turn said something like "it's a hitter's game so swing the bat," or "in this league it is" or whatever. I got back in the box and was still mouthing. I think the next pitch was in the same spot, or worse, and it seems like I either hit a weak grounder or popped up to the third baseman. Heck it might have even been a third strike that I took. In fact I think it was, but I simply can't remember.
After the game, I apologized to the pastor/coach and my buddy for losing my cool and they said to not worry about it. As I was walking off the field and the ump comes up trying to "explain" why he called it a strike. I told him I wasn't interested and kept walking. He persisted. I again politely stated I didn't want to talk. He kept on. Finally he added the last straw. I wheeled around and asked if he at least would admit the pitch was a ball. He agreed it was, not even close, but said if he called pitches like that balls then games would never finish because most pitchers in the league were terrible and it would be a walkathon. I fired back, "So? Then there's a bunch of walks. Big deal. Here's what's gonna happen bud: By calling **** that way you're gonna get a pitcher killed. There's no way to pull a ball like that. Now I'll go out of my way to not hit the middle -- I try to pull everything, even outside pitches -- because I know most of these guys don't have good reflexes. But now that I know you're too stupid to call that a ball, you better believe that if I ever play here again I'm not gonna take that pitch. So what's my option? I'm not gonna let my teammates down and take a called third strike, and I'm not gonna try to pull it, so what's left? I'm gonna smoke that pitch straight up the middle as hard as I can, and if the pitcher gets cracked in the skull then that's on him and YOU. Do you really want that on your conscience when the alternative is just to not be an idiot and simply call a pitch that lands inside the other batter's box a f#cking ball? Are you really that stupid?"
Good times at the ol' ballpark.
Though I can't remember the exact details, the gist of it is the umpire was a complete imbecile. A buddy had asked me to play for his church cause they were gonna be short, and their pastor was the coach. I was batting (I'm a lefty -- i.e. the way God intended people to hit) and the pitcher was standing on the far left side of the rubber (from the batter's perspective). This is important for the following reason: he threw a pitch that landed INSIDE the chalk line of the RIGHT side batter's box, which, of course, was a good 10-12" outside to a left-handed batter. STRIKE!!! (The reason it's important where the pitcher was standing is that it could not be argued that the ball "curved" or somehow crossed the plate before it hit the ground. It was a ball from the moment it left the pitcher's hand.)
I was both incredulous and furious. I called time, stepped out of the box, turned to the ump and said something like "are you freaking kidding me, you're calling that a strike?" in a loud, angry voice. (I actually used "freaking" instead of my preferred "f#cking" so, you know, kudos to me.) The ump, (mid 60's, been umping at that league for years) in turn said something like "it's a hitter's game so swing the bat," or "in this league it is" or whatever. I got back in the box and was still mouthing. I think the next pitch was in the same spot, or worse, and it seems like I either hit a weak grounder or popped up to the third baseman. Heck it might have even been a third strike that I took. In fact I think it was, but I simply can't remember.
After the game, I apologized to the pastor/coach and my buddy for losing my cool and they said to not worry about it. As I was walking off the field and the ump comes up trying to "explain" why he called it a strike. I told him I wasn't interested and kept walking. He persisted. I again politely stated I didn't want to talk. He kept on. Finally he added the last straw. I wheeled around and asked if he at least would admit the pitch was a ball. He agreed it was, not even close, but said if he called pitches like that balls then games would never finish because most pitchers in the league were terrible and it would be a walkathon. I fired back, "So? Then there's a bunch of walks. Big deal. Here's what's gonna happen bud: By calling **** that way you're gonna get a pitcher killed. There's no way to pull a ball like that. Now I'll go out of my way to not hit the middle -- I try to pull everything, even outside pitches -- because I know most of these guys don't have good reflexes. But now that I know you're too stupid to call that a ball, you better believe that if I ever play here again I'm not gonna take that pitch. So what's my option? I'm not gonna let my teammates down and take a called third strike, and I'm not gonna try to pull it, so what's left? I'm gonna smoke that pitch straight up the middle as hard as I can, and if the pitcher gets cracked in the skull then that's on him and YOU. Do you really want that on your conscience when the alternative is just to not be an idiot and simply call a pitch that lands inside the other batter's box a f#cking ball? Are you really that stupid?"
Good times at the ol' ballpark.
you have never been to a catholic church league event then.
Oohhh, I like that. Hell yea. Crack some church skulls, Mav.
Yesterday I heard the funniest thing. It went something like...."If you like healthy ice cream...". I LOL'd and repeated the phrase a couple of times letting it sink in. Dude was telling me about Keto ice cream...no offense, Mav...and he didn't really laugh back. I just exited that convo with the quickness. No time for that bs. I don't care how good your fake ice creams taste to you, I would send your keto *** to prison on felony ice cream impersonation if I could.
Little over 60 days till we're cracking skulls on the gridiron.
Women in the 1960s were hotter/better than women today.
Change my mind
Change my mind