Nothing is more sexier than a 4+ month showing pregnant chick chain smoking. Definitely mother of the year material.
N.O.B.
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I did tell her to yell at them, "MAKE A HOLE. MAKE IT WIDE!".
I do like the stabbing idea though.
I remember some dude my freshman year of high school would always strip naked and go shower, then walk around naked after PE. Every time. Literally no one else ever went near the showers and he'd stand around trying to talk to people and you felt like you couldn't get out/averted eyes.
I encountered Buzz Baker at the downtown Y doing the same thing once and wondered if high school dude time warped.
I encountered Buzz Baker at the downtown Y doing the same thing once and wondered if high school dude time warped.
Closeted homosexual overweight mafioso fathers inevitably lead their sons into a life of shower shitting. Sad.
Rooting for those goons in Bloomington. Feels filthy.
After about a month of hinting and a week of nervous anticipation wondering "is it going to happen?", my wife informed me that she was, indeed, leaving work early to pick up the kid and driving to the lake tonight for the weekend. I don't have to go until Sunday. [banana]:football::cheers2::cheers2::cheers2::cheers2:[poop]
Dammit THAT'S what I'm talking about. Congratulations.
Pro-tip: fake an illness (stomach bugs are good) and you could prolly spend Sunday/Sunday night alone too. Honey I feel miserable and I surely don't want y'all to get this too.
Honestly thought about how I could finagle an extended weekend of bliss by doing something like that but the repercussions would be too severe. She would see through the coincidence. Not worth it. I do plan on feeling miserable due to alcohol imbibing though, so it wouldn't be a total lie.
I was a substitute teacher for about a year. Finally learned to not go any higher than 4th grade.
Nah, go for it, push that envelope dude. Start laying the groundwork now -- text her that your stomach is feeling kinda weird, heard a bug is going around, you hope you're not getting sick, etc... She might believe you, you never know.
She's a doctor, so I doubt it. But maybe I am in the mood to piss HER off for a change.
Will keep you abreast.
Hmmmm, that does indeed change the calculus a bit.
damn, your married to a Dr. why do you even work. i would be like one of the real housewives living it up only as a husband.
R.I.P. Randy & Mo, hope y'all rockin' the funk out of the afterworld [banana]
ended up going to some bars with friends last night like we were 21 or some ****. Slugged back too many. I can't be trusted with this freedom thing, guys. Hope I didn't blow my wad last night. Today beckons.Back to bed now.
Do it up, bro. No fear. No regerts
Back to bed now.
I'm doing it for you guys. Hanging it all out there (literally...no one is here, might as well).
I am beating my balls on every surface of the house and whoopin like a caveman.
Dog looking at me like 'put your dingaling away'.
Sorry, toots. This is Day of Dad. Embrace it or GTFO.
Dog looking at me like 'put your dingaling away'.
Sorry, toots. This is Day of Dad. Embrace it or GTFO.
Driving home from work in G town and 75 is effing stopped. Gridlocked. Why? We get one day Onto the weekend. One. Why do it? You're probably overstaying your damn welcome wherever you're going, mother f--ers. I fm don't get it and never will,
L hey it's Labor Day weekend..lets hit the road and fight traffic both the day we leave and the day we come back!!!!!
Dumbasses.
L hey it's Labor Day weekend..lets hit the road and fight traffic both the day we leave and the day we come back!!!!!
Dumbasses.
pretty much wasted. thankfully. what an abort. WE WON! eat ****. i love you
I once earned a few extra $ taking nude girlie photos back during the late 90's. Sold 'em in Germany. It was during the days before Facebook/Snapchat/etc.
Back when I was into the nude pics for $, I gotta admit I've seen a couple poses in Copperas Cove, TX that would cause sane men to rethink their manhood. One was so GD big, it scared the f*ck outta me afterward.
True story.
I was really just referring to telling my daughter to tell the other kids in the locker room to get out of the way.
Dick pics are scary in general, IMHO.
It's 3:30 am and I'm wide f--king awake watching 47 year old rookie Roy f--king Hobbs slump while nailing an in-her-prime Kim Basinger, but then kill the ball just by hanging out with GD Glen Close. WTF?
Close. WTF?Hey guys, Sundance just knocked the dog **** out of one, broke the lights, and now he's playing catch in a cornfield and throwing like a girl while the Blessed Glen watches in rapt amazement. I think I may be high.
watches in rapt amazement. I think I may be high.
