Off Topic- Forgive Me Looking for Advice

[lookoutforliam]

Edgy, hope this is okay- if not just flush- but I figured that Fortnite may be the bane of some of your existences. I have three young kids- 5, 8, and 10. Youngest and oldest are boys. When I grew up, I rarely played video games. I was playing hoops, baseball, riding my bike or playing football. My oldest is addicted to Fortnite. I don't take that word addicted lightly. We have tried time limits, weekends only, taking it away for weeks at a time. Most of his friends play, but at this point I am just done. It's a constant battle. In your experience, is there anything you've done to curb or end this? I don't want him to miss out, but at the same time, I feel like he is a different kid. Any thoughts would be appreciated.....and apologies for the non-football post.

 

[PowerI66_]

Edgy, hope this is okay- if not just flush- but I figured that Fortnite may be the bane of some of your existences. I have three young kids- 5, 8, and 10. Youngest and oldest are boys. When I grew up, I rarely played video games. I was playing hoops, baseball, riding my bike or playing football. My oldest is addicted to Fortnite. I don't take that word addicted lightly. We have tried time limits, weekends only, taking it away for weeks at a time. Most of his friends play, but at this point I am just done. It's a constant battle. In your experience, is there anything you've done to curb or end this? I don't want him to miss out, but at the same time, I feel like he is a different kid. Any thoughts would be appreciated.....and apologies for the non-football post.

Is he any good? He could earn a scholarship. Seriously.

 

[lookoutforliam]

Is he any good? He could earn a scholarship. Seriously.

As much as he plays, I think he is pretty good. Problem is I would rather him be playing outside. I don't know if I want to foster the Fortnite habit. Thanks for replying Power.

 

[eagles2k3]

Edgy, hope this is okay- if not just flush- but I figured that Fortnite may be the bane of some of your existences. I have three young kids- 5, 8, and 10. Youngest and oldest are boys. When I grew up, I rarely played video games. I was playing hoops, baseball, riding my bike or playing football. My oldest is addicted to Fortnite. I don't take that word addicted lightly. We have tried time limits, weekends only, taking it away for weeks at a time. Most of his friends play, but at this point I am just done. It's a constant battle. In your experience, is there anything you've done to curb or end this? I don't want him to miss out, but at the same time, I feel like he is a different kid. Any thoughts would be appreciated.....and apologies for the non-football post.

I have the exact same age kids and same gender distribution.
If I let my 10 year old he would be on all day. Wife is VERY anti video game. He’s allowed to play some games online, but as soon as we notice behavior shifts, moodiness, talk back, etc, he gets banned. Right now we’re in week 3 of the ban and his behavior is outstanding. Just have to set limits. If other parents don’t than that is on them. Personally I don’t care if he misses out on online time with friends. I’d rather invite them over to do stuff or take them to the park to run routes.

Also, even though it’s hard, the lack of video games leads to more fighting between the kids. Nothing to distract them. Wife would rather deal with that than them being constantly on electronics.

Its hard and every kid is different so you have to be flexible. My sons best friend plays a lot and he’s fine. Doesn’t get like my son so his parents allow more freedom to play.

not easy.

 

[lookoutforliam]

I have the exact same age kids and same gender distribution.
If I let my 10 year old he would be on all day. Wife is VERY anti video game. He’s allowed to play some games online, but as soon as we notice behavior shifts, moodiness, talk back, etc, he gets banned. Right now we’re in week 3 of the ban and his behavior is outstanding. Just have to set limits. If other parents don’t than that is on them. Personally I don’t care if he misses out on online time with friends. I’d rather invite them over to do stuff or take them to the park to run routes.

Also, even though it’s hard, the lack of video games leads to more fighting between the kids. Nothing to distract them. Wife would rather deal with that than them being constantly on electronics.

Its hard and every kid is different so you have to be flexible. My sons best friend plays a lot and he’s fine. Doesn’t get like my son so his parents allow more freedom to play.

not easy.

I am not alone....phew. Thank you for sharing Eagles. I really appreciate your thoughts.

 

[ClownBaby]

My kid plays Roblox while also watching it on YouTube, it’s the absolute worst. I just turn off the TV take his IPad and make him go ride his bike.

 

[greatgig13]

We’re battling our 16 year old. He’ll play games all day and my wife caught him up at 2:30AM in the basement. She’s constantly taking away his privileges and I’m thinking at least he’s not out breaking the law. But the electronics time concerns me that it’s hurting his social skills. When we were kids we played pickup baseball games every day from 10-12, ate lunch and went to the pool from 1-5. Kids, especially non sports playing, need something more than video games.

 

[eagles2k3]

My kid plays Roblox while also watching it on YouTube, it’s the absolute worst. I just turn off the TV take his IPad and make him go ride his bike.

Roblox is the worst!!!! However we do allow that sometimes because it’s the only thing my 3 will do together for a bit without fighting.

 

[lookoutforliam]

We’re battling our 16 year old. He’ll play games all day and my wife caught him up at 2:30AM in the basement. She’s constantly taking away his privileges and I’m thinking at least he’s not out breaking the law. But the electronics time concerns me that it’s hurting his social skills. When we were kids we played pickup baseball games every day from 10-12, ate lunch and went to the pool from 1-5. Kids, especially non sports playing, need something more than video games.

Agree-the non-social (though they are on headphones smh) aspect of it is very noticeable when we are out. The lack of interaction is very evident....seems withdrawn which kills me.

 

[Still Missing34]

We’re battling our 16 year old. He’ll play games all day and my wife caught him up at 2:30AM in the basement. She’s constantly taking away his privileges and I’m thinking at least he’s not out breaking the law. But the electronics time concerns me that it’s hurting his social skills. When we were kids we played pickup baseball games every day from 10-12, ate lunch and went to the pool from 1-5. Kids, especially non sports playing, need something more than video games.

This summer is probably the closest my kids have come to a summer like the ones I remember. Sleeping in, hanging with friends all day and night. It's actually been one of those silver lining in the midst of a terrible situation.

 

[greatgig13]

Agree-the non-social (though they are on headphones smh) aspect of it is very noticeable when we are out. The lack of interaction is very evident....seems withdrawn which kills me.

Exactly. And mine has no desire to get his drivers license. Times sure have changed.

 

[greatgig13]

This summer is probably the closest my kids have come to a summer like the ones I remember. Sleeping in, hanging with friends all day and night. It's actually been one of those silver lining in the midst of a terrible situation.

They just need to open up the damn pool.

 

[Still Missing34]

They just need to open up the damn pool.

They opened up our subdivision pool last week and now that my kids can go without an adult, it's been fantastic.

 

[CaravanMan]

My question is how are they getting the game back if it is being taken away? And my initial reaction is "You're the parent, they live under your authority so you set the rule(s) and they honor that." And I'm not trying to incite anything here with the reaction comment so please don't take it that way. Now with that being said, I have three young children so I'm not at this point yet of getting push back. We do play Wii but have set time limits and the games we play (mainly mariokart) are what we feel are age appropriate. I've read studies on how both short and long term video game playing and the negative effects (google is your friend) so it does freak me out. I could go a bunch of other directions on this but I don't know how long this thread will last or if acceptable. Again, just trying stimulate conversation for us parents who have different challenges with children, not trying to get the pitchforks pointed at me.

 

[No Bias---Just Reality]

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/04/nin...t-food-job-to-millionaire-fortnite-gamer.html

He’s from Grayslake Illinois and makes 1 Million per month live streaming his Fortnite playing.

Sometimes you have to adjust your thinking. The famous original computer guys (Bill Gates, etc).... what if their parents insisted they get out and run around the park because this messing around on the computer all day and night nonsense (which also led most to drop out of college eventually before finishing) was bad for them? That’s a rhetorical statement not a real question.

Add on - additional perspective:

 

[lookoutforliam]

My question is how are they getting the game back if it is being taken away? And my initial reaction is "You're the parent, they live under your authority so you set the rule(s) and they honor that." And I'm not trying to incite anything here with the reaction comment so please don't take it that way. Now with that being said, I have three young children so I'm not at this point yet of getting push back. We do play Wii but have set time limits and the games we play (mainly mariokart) are what we feel are age appropriate. I've read studies on how both short and long term video game playing and the negative effects (google is your friend) so it does freak me out. I could go a bunch of other directions on this but I don't know how long this thread will last or if acceptable. Again, just trying stimulate conversation for us parents who have different challenges with children, not trying to get the pitchforks pointed at me.

Appreciate that Caravan. You are 100% correct. This falls on my wife and I as parents. We do take it away for weeks at a time till he proves to us that is able to use it again...under control. This summer with no camps, limited baseball and no trips, it's been a little more difficult to regulate. Definitely get your point about me being the parent though. Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[lookoutforliam]

https://www.cnbc.com/2019/01/04/nin...t-food-job-to-millionaire-fortnite-gamer.html

He’s from Grayslake Illinois and makes 1 Million per month live streaming his Fortnite playing.

Sometimes you have to adjust your thinking. The famous original computer guys (Bill Gates, etc).... what if their parents insisted they get out and run around the park because this messing around on the computer all day and night nonsense (which also led most to drop out of college eventually before finishing) was bad for them? That’s a rhetorical statement not a real question.

Add on - additional perspective:

Good perspective, thank you. Funny, he knows exactly who that guy is.....but, for some reason I dont think he is going to be the next Ninja.

 

[No Bias---Just Reality]

Good perspective, thank you. Funny, he knows exactly who that guy is.....but, for some reason I dont think he is going to be the next Ninja.

Maybe not but should he not have a piggy bank because he’s not the next warren buffet, play football because he’s not the next Drew brees, be in theatre because he’s not the next brad Pitt.

Listen, I’m not saying you shouldn’t draw lines and make him do other stuff... not my argument.... just saying sometimes our perception of good and bad habits are skewed by our childhood and biases. So be willing to adjust.

 

[lookoutforliam]

Maybe not but should he not have a piggy bank because he’s not the next warren buffet, play football because he’s not the next Drew brees, be in theatre because he’s not the next brad Pitt.

Listen, I’m not saying you shouldn’t draw lines and make him do other stuff... not my argument.... just saying sometimes our perception of good and bad habits are skewed by our childhood and biases. So be willing to adjust.

Proceed with an open mind. Thanks NB.

 

[35Blackhawk42Spartan]

Everything in moderation is how I look at it, my 13 year old plays FN. Thankfully we are coming off a week of baseball and into 2-3 games a week and weekend tournaments now. I have no problem with time spent on FN as a way to unwind. Bedtime is firm though, nothing past 1045-11. At this age they need sleep to grow, IMO.
Trade an hour outside, activity of his choice, for an hour of gaming. Start with an hour or two of time and let him add more by being outside. There have been days I've literally sent both my kids outside and told them to not come back in for an hour or more. Go walk, bike, run, hoverboard, just get outside. The room hibernation thing I find equally concerning. Maybe if he's working age, it's finding a job-earning a way to support his subscription, in game purchases-vbucks, and possibly getting around peers with interests other than gaming. I think it'll likely pass. I remember summers dedicated to beating Zelda, Metroid, Super Mario Bros, and Mike Tysons Knockout. We still had time for the pool though and summer sports.

 

[lookoutforliam]

Everything in moderation is how I look at it, my 13 year old plays FN. Thankfully we are coming off a week of baseball and into 2-3 games a week and weekend tournaments now. I have no problem with time spent on FN as a way to unwind. Bedtime is firm though, nothing past 1045-11. At this age they need sleep to grow, IMO.
Trade an hour outside, activity of his choice, for an hour of gaming. Start with an hour or two of time and let him add more by being outside. There have been days I've literally sent both my kids outside and told them to not come back in for an hour or more. Go walk, bike, run, hoverboard, just get outside. The room hibernation thing I find equally concerning. Maybe if he's working age, it's finding a job-earning a way to support his subscription, in game purchases-vbucks, and possibly getting around peers with interests other than gaming. I think it'll likely pass. I remember summers dedicated to beating Zelda, Metroid, Super Mario Bros, and Mike Tysons Knockout. We still had time for the pool though and summer sports.

This is very helpful 35, thank you. He has 4 (yes 4) baseball games this week and I suppose some down time is probably okay (they are trying to cram a season into a month). I like the idea of trading hours. One thing I have noticed is that he is just not as motivated at baseball as he is at FN.....I guess that comes with time. Again, I am comparing my experiences with what his should look like. Maybe it is just not the same. Appreciate you taking time to reply.

 

[crusader_of_90]

Buy a ping-pong table, or pool table ... air hockey? Change the WIFI daily?

Buy the kid a drone (an excellent skill) and make him get registered (law) ...

Buy the kid a motorbike ... or fireworks ... or other "stuff" that will interest young people. Hell, a shotgun or a fishing pole, depending on where ya live.

JUST SPITBALLING ... never dealt with this.

 

[lookoutforliam]

Buy a ping-pong table, or pool table ... air hockey? Change the WIFI daily?

Buy the kid a drone (an excellent skill) and make him get registered (law) ...

Buy the kid a motorbike ... or fireworks ... or other "stuff" that will interest young people. Hell, a shotgun or a fishing pole, depending on where ya live.

JUST SPITBALLING ... never dealt with this.

Hahahaha! I love it. All great ideas. Maybe not a shotgun yet....Thanks Crusader.