Open Casket

[Inky29]

I've always been of the thinking that when it's an open casket that it's really a personal choice if you want to view the body or not. Generally not a big fan of 11 or 8 year old's seeing the body but that's my feelings and others are free to their feelings.

What's the consensus? Had someone recently get pretty pissed off that someone didn't make their young children go view the body at a funeral. Didn't realize it was such a big deal to some folks.

 

[NeekReevers]

Grief is personal and people need to be allowed to grieve as they see fit. I rarely look at the body in an open casket service but I do walk by. I have no desire to see a corpse that never looks like the person did when they were alive. Someone that is angered by that, especially with respect to children, needs to do some self examination.

 

[mseabolt]

Had someone recently get pretty pissed off that someone didn't make their young children go view the body at a funeral.

Inexcusable reaction.

I agree 100% with. It should be the person's choice.

 

[purkey]

went to a funeral for a fellow sales comrade. A friend asked me what he had as we stood there and looked because he looked so bad...and he looked horrible. What the hell did he have?, he quizzed me....

er, uh, well,

oklahoma and kansas! like duh!

 

[Inky29]

I kind of thought I was right but the way this person exploded about this I was starting to question myself. This person is just bs crazy I guess.

 

[HighStickHarry_]

Death is part of life. Kids are resilient and don't need to be hidden from that part of the tradition. Kids need to be around skinning deer and cleaning fish from a young age. The longer you hide something like that, you make it seem wrong or gross.

I of course wouldn't explode or even comment during the event.

 

[hollywood]

My brother's funeral was an open casket, I remember filing by looking down and seeing the massive scar from the autopsy going across from ear to ear. Whenever I think of my brother now, it is that image that pops into my mind. I refused to look at my mom and dad's funerals and am glad I did.

 

[Dally1up]

To each their own. I stop pause and reflect. I understand why some don't.

 

[purkey]

it really varies for me...sometimes I will look and sometimes I won't. I think the closer that person was to me causes me not to look, but someone I hardly knew I'll probably look. I'll always walk by the casket.

 

[SKC_rivals551796]

We had the casket at the front closed during the service, then they took it to the back, off to the side, so that as people filed out they had the option to stop by, but they weren't forced to. I felt that it was something that is up to each individual person, and many don't want to have that be their final memory of their loved one, friend, sibling, etc. Once everyone had left, then I had a few minutes there to say goodbyes, etc, without feeling like everyone was watching.

Funny story....my wife had purchased a gift card as a HS graduation gift for a coworker's daughter, but then had gotten sick and was in the hospital during graduation. So, after she passed a couple of months later I found the gift card and knew I'd see the coworker at the funeral, so stuck it in my jacket. So, there, at the back of the church, saying goodbye to her, and stuck some pictures in the casket. Fast forward to the post-graveside lunch, when I reach in to get the gift card, only to realize it's in the casket with the pictures. We actually had a pretty good laugh at that one.

 

[Schoonerman_rivals49058]

Personally, not a fan of open caskets, especially after seeing my Mom, Dad and a co-worker at their services. All looked noting as I remember and it was terribly disappointing to see them in that state for the last time. My Father and Mother-in-law were both cremated, and there were lots of pictures at their service for those of us to remember as they were in life, not in death. I've instructed my family to do the same for me.

 

[long-duc-dong]

I'm going to be cremated. Don't want to take up space, and I have a fear of waking up in a closed casket. Creepy.

 

[hollywood]

I'm going to be cremated. Don't want to take up space, and I have a fear of waking up in a closed casket. Creepy.

Ok, so you're going to wake up in a casket in a 1,400 degree oven?

I plan on being cremated as well. When my good friend died of cancer about 10 yrs ago now, her mom distributed her ashes among 12 or so of her closest friends to place in some geographic location where Kelly never got to visit, I really liked that and will repeat it for myself.

 

[long-duc-dong]

Ok, so you're going to wake up in a casket in a 1,400 degree oven?

I plan on being cremated as well. When my good friend died of cancer about 10 yrs ago now, her mom distributed her ashes among 12 or so of her closest friends to place in some geographic location where Kelly never got to visit, I really liked that and will repeat it for myself.

I've thought of that. You can be cremated in a cardboard box if you so choose. Anyway, if it was a casket it would be over fast.

 

[Cordellhall83]

No one should be forced to view an open casket. But I do think it's a great learning opportunity for young children. Kids are curious and have a ton of questions that should be questioned. I went to many funerals growing up...it helped me as an adult. On the opposite end, my exwife had never gone to a funeral until my grandfathers...she was really unprepared emotionally. Some of my best conversations with my son has come after funerals...questions from a child. If you don't like being critiqued, don't have an open casket! "Didn't they look good!", "Ooooh she looked bad?" "They didn't get the eyelids sew shut very well" "They were heavy on the makeup". On and on and on.

 

[nathajw]

The other day in some random conversation that I can't remember the gist of, my wife said she'd never seen a dead body and asked me if I'd ever seen one. She was shocked when I told her I'd seen easily a hundred before the age of 14.

I went to Catholic middle school and the school was right across the street from the church. Me and my friends would get pulled out of class on the regular to be altar boys at funerals of people who we had no clue who they were, a large portion open casket. We didn't mind one bit considering the funeral homes would always give each of us $5 - $10 for an hours worth of work. 12/13 years old and 10 bucks an hour in the early 90s plus you get out of class so we thought it was a hell of a deal.

I was pretty numb to the sight of a dead body with makeup at an early age. Looking back, I was exposed to a **** ton of sorrow too. I remember plenty that were of young kids/adults, those were pretty rough even as a detached observer. I do think the experiences helped me to learn to take nothing for granted.

 

[hollywood]

What always creeped me out was the "old-timey" photos from back in the day showing the corpse in the coffin. I've seen that ranged from stomach churning (decomp already setting in) to some downright eerie and just bizarre.

I've seen plenty of open coffin funerals in my life, but like I said, after my brothers funeral and not being able to get that picture out of mind (when I could have had thousands of memories of him from when he was alive) i've decided never to do so again.

 

[AC2017]

Hollywood, the creepiest old timey photos are the ones that have family members posing with an upright corpse sitting with them in a family portrait.

I understand why they did it, perhaps they'd never had a photo together during their lifetime, or possibly they knew this would be the last chance for a group pic ... it's creepy nevertheless.

 

[Ostatedchi]

I was 7 or so when my grandfather passed away. My parents didn't let me go to the funeral. I was mad at them for a long time about that. But they explained that they didn't want my final memory of him to be dead in a casket. That they wanted me to remember him as he was when he was alive.

Now, I'm kind of glad they did.

Next year my daughter is going to UCO to study to be a mortician. I just don't get it but hey, it's a darned good profession. Not too many broke or out of work morticians.

 

[anon_xl72qcu5isp39]

It's kind of a generation thing. I'm appalled at how awful people usually look and hate having it in my mind. I've seen country-assed families gather around the body in a casket and take pictures.

I'm having my penis cryogenically frozen (it's all I think with) and the rest of me cremated.

 

[long-duc-dong]

It's kind of a generation thing. I'm appalled at how awful people usually look and hate having it in my mind. I've seen country-assed families gather around the body in a casket and take pictures.

I'm having my penis cryogenically frozen (it's all I think with) and the rest of me cremated.

So you've finally admitted you're a dickhead?

 

[100TonsofOrangeFury]

I've always been of the thinking that when it's an open casket that it's really a personal choice if you want to view the body or not. Generally not a big fan of 11 or 8 year old's seeing the body but that's my feelings and others are free to their feelings.

What's the consensus? Had someone recently get pretty pissed off that someone didn't make their young children go view the body at a funeral. Didn't realize it was such a big deal to some folks.

So I have a related question on this topic: is it rude to inquire about circumstances of death and cremated vs. buried, etc?

Went to my first funeral in a decade last week for an acquaintance that I greatly admired. I'd heard when and where he died but not really any details. Died suddenly at 52, so there's natural curiosity. Also, there was no casket at all anywhere to be seen, and no mention of cremation.

I guess it's all none of my bidness and didn't ask anyone.

 

[mseabolt]

So I have a related question on this topic: is it rude to inquire about circumstances of death and cremated vs. buried, etc?

Went to my first funeral in a decade last week for an acquaintance that I greatly admired. I'd heard when and where he died but not really any details. Died suddenly at 52, so there's natural curiosity. Also, there was no casket at all anywhere to be seen, and no mention of cremation.

I guess it's all none of my bidness and didn't ask anyone.

My Mom died unexpectedly the day after Christmas .. I had this asked of me many times and I understood and didn't have an issue with the question from the people that asked .. It was hard having to continually answering it and relive the circumstances but I did for those that I knew cared about her.

 

[purkey]

So I have a related question on this topic: is it rude to inquire about circumstances of death and cremated vs. buried, etc?

Went to my first funeral in a decade last week for an acquaintance that I greatly admired. I'd heard when and where he died but not really any details. Died suddenly at 52, so there's natural curiosity. Also, there was no casket at all anywhere to be seen, and no mention of cremation.

I guess it's all none of my bidness and didn't ask anyone.

see earlier quote...he had kansas and oklahoma.

 

[hollywood]

So I have a related question on this topic: is it rude to inquire about circumstances of death and cremated vs. buried, etc?

I just had that situation a few weeks back with a friend of mine from Jr and Sr High. There was a blurb on the MWC alumni site (which reports deaths) saying he was ill and in the hospital and then less than a week later indicated he had died. The family did not even allow the funeral home or newspaper to provide an obituary. I decided not to ask as I figured there must have been a reason why they were trying to "hush things up" (or appeared to be) about the circumstances surrounding his death. Felt like my curiosity wasn't equal to the families decision.

 

[HighStickHarry_]

I just had that situation a few weeks back with a friend of mine from Jr and Sr High. There was a blurb on the MWC alumni site (which reports deaths) saying he was ill and in the hospital and then less than a week later indicated he had died. The family did not even allow the funeral home or newspaper to provide an obituary. I decided not to ask as I figured there must have been a reason why they were trying to "hush things up" (or appeared to be) about the circumstances surrounding his death. Felt like my curiosity wasn't equal to the families decision.

That's the difference between a big city and a small town. I have three people I can call and get any info I want about stuff like that.

 

[ThorOdinson13]

It's kind of a generation thing. I'm appalled at how awful people usually look and hate having it in my mind. I've seen country-assed families gather around the body in a casket and take pictures.

I'm having my penis cryogenically frozen (it's all I think with) and the rest of me cremated.

100% certified dick

 

[Karsten Solheim]

To each his own but I was glad to see my mom one last time.