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OT: Chuck Norris Thread

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OldasdirtDevil

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DukeSky85 said:
Chuck Norris farted and did this to Tyler Zeller

Click to expand...


Are you sure about that Skyjr? I've heard that a Chuck Norris 'Silent Slip' fart has been rated an F5 tornado. And a real azz ripper fart...well...there are no known facts of the destructive forces of it since no one has ever survived it...except of course, Chuck.
I think more than likely this was an Ol'Roy nanner puddin' fart. Those are pretty lethal...but for goodness sake we've got to hope Chuck never eats any of Wanda's delicious delight. It could be the end of mankind as we know it.

OFC
 
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skysdad

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Chuck Norris is disappointed in the lack of attention his thread is getting. Chuck said to get busy. OFC
 
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skysdad

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Chuck Norris once went to the running of the bulls. The bulls started running from him and the officials ask him not to come back. OFC
 
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skysdad

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Chuck Norris is still a little annoyed about the inactivity of his thread. He says don't make him come on this thread and start commenting. . OFC
 
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skysdad

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Chuck Norris says for us to start posting on the Duke free football board. OFC
 
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CRAZIE4LIFE

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Chuck Norris pitched a temper tantrum as a toddler and kicked the ground. We now have the grand canyon.
 
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skysdad

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Chuck Norris taught Audie Murphy how to be both a hero and an actor. OFC
 
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dbav

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skysdad said:
Chuck Norris starred down PJ Hairston. OFC
Click to expand...

Chuck Norris is the only person PJ allows to call him by the wrong name.

When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norrised.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Some kids urinate their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can urinate his name into concrete.

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You answered the wrong phone.

Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no protection from Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris turned 18, his parents moved out.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris CAN understand women.

When you say "no one's perfect", Chuck Norris takes this as a personal insult.

Chuck Norris could build Rome in one day.

Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

Chuck Norris can make apple juice with oranges.

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
 
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OldasdirtDevil

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Santa once gave Chuck Norris a lump of coal. After he kicked Santa's azz, he fisted the lump of coal into a diamond.

OFC
 
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skysdad

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Side bar. Hayes Cooper, Texas Ranger has a faster gun than Lucas McCain, Matt Dillon, Little Joe Cartwright, Paladin, James West and Jess Harper. He can kick their rear ends too because he created Hayes Cooper. OFC
 
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dbav

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Chuck Norris never hides, he only seeks.

Chuck Norris doesn't have a bank account. He just tells the bank how much he needs.

The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris isn't afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him, so he tracked down nothing and killed it.

Chuck Norris wears sunglasses so that his eyes won't hurt the sun.

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? No one ever dared to ask him.
 
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dbav

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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.

Some magicians can walk on water. Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity...twice.
 
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dbav

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Chuck Norris doesn't give Christmas presents. If you live to see Christmas, that is your Christmas present from Chuck.

Chuck Norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run.

Orion admires Chuck Norris' belt.

Chuck Norris won the tour de france, on a stationary bike.

The Guinness Book of World Records was originally titled "Chuck Norris facts".
 
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K-oach Q

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Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi trucks gas tank as a joke......that truck is now known as Optimus Prime


chuck Norris doesn't flush a toilet.....he scares the sh*t out of it!


Some people wear Superman pajamas...Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
 
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