Reminds me of an old joke:
An undertaker comes into a taxidermist one day with a large jar full of pickled penises.
"What the heck are you doing with those", said the taxidermist.
The mortician replied, "I got 'em from my male customers. I was hoping you can make something with them."
"Come back in a week and we'll see", said the taxidermist.
A week later the mortician returns and says, "Well, were you able to do anything with the jar of penises?"
The taxidermist reaches under the counter and places a wallet in front of the mortician.
"A large jar of penises and you could only make a wallet out of them?"
"Well", said the taxidermist, "if you stroke it a few times it becomes a suitcase".