Pessimistic Thread Starters

Feb 25, 2008
32,188
31,110
113
I can already see if it’s 10-7 in the 2nd quarter against Northern Illinois the negative nellies will come out in full force. Can we just ban them right away?
I get why they need to have their frustrations broadcast as visibly as possible by making 20 separate threads rather than allowing them to get lost in the game thread, but it is kinda funny at the same time.

I submit that any pessimist thread started before the end of the game gets automatically shuffled into the game thread itself. It will keep the board much more tidy and easier to scroll through on game days.
 

Max Rebo

All-Conference
Dec 31, 2022
805
2,167
93
Seems like good fodder for a new Bud Light commercial:


AUDIO: (Upbeat, heroic 80s rock anthem music kicks in with a pounding beat and soaring electric guitars)

ANNOUNCER: Bud Light presents: Real Men of Genius.

SINGER: (Soaring, dramatic 80s rock vocal) Real Men of Geni-uuuuss!

ANNOUNCER: Today, we salute you, Mr. Pessimistic Message Board Thread Starter.

SINGER: (High-pitched background harmony) Mr. Pessimistic Message Board Thread Starter!

ANNOUNCER: While eighty thousand screaming fans are still finding their seats for kickoff, you're already in the game-thread, declaring the entire program dead on arrival.

SINGER: (Dramatic accent) Cancel the tailgate!

ANNOUNCER: Down three points in the first quarter? Your hands fly across the keyboard. "Bench the QB. Fire the coordinator. Pull the scholarship from the punter."

SINGER: (Passionate belt) He’s nineteen years old!

ANNOUNCER: Never mind that these kids are nineteen and playing in an absolute sauna. You know talent when you see it, and right now, you're seeing a direct pipeline to the bad bowl game in Detroit.

SINGER: (Operatic) We're playing on a Tuesday!

ANNOUNCER: When the team drives eighty yards to take the lead, do you cheer? Absolutely not. You start a fresh thread explaining why the recruiting class is still completely ruined.

SINGER: (High-register flourish) Pure misery on the board!

ANNOUNCER: So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, O Sultan of the Doomer Thread. Because win or lose, we know you'll be on the message boards until 3:00 AM, demanding a brand new head coach.

SINGER: (Final epic belt) Mr. Pessimistic Message Board Thread Starteeerrrr!

ANNOUNCER: Bud Light Beer, Anheuser-Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.
 

Kirk is God

Junior
Oct 21, 2025
160
235
43
Which is worse….the Negative Nellies, or the Holier-Than-Thou members of the Sunshine Club who think everything is fine, no criticism whatsoever should be allowed, and consider themselves superior fans? :unsure:

Personally, I don’t care for either.
Easily the negative people. Enjoy the damn game it’s football season baby!
 
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PinkShizzle

All-Conference
Jul 9, 2025
2,063
4,620
113
Which is worse….the Negative Nellies, or the Holier-Than-Thou members of the Sunshine Club who think everything is fine, no criticism whatsoever should be allowed, and consider themselves superior fans? :unsure:
I'm not a fan of either.
 

Jonesy5960

Heisman
Feb 1, 2023
6,250
12,892
113
Which is worse….the Negative Nellies, or the Holier-Than-Thou members of the Sunshine Club who think everything is fine, no criticism whatsoever should be allowed, and consider themselves superior fans? :unsure:

Personally, I don’t care for either.
Yeah.
4144.gif
 

Hawkangler

All-Conference
Mar 16, 2014
2,071
4,554
113
All due respect but the Capt is not a god/demigod.
True and I've never seen him act like he was. My question is why our media types are already b!tching about the QB situation, DL and special teams. Let's see how it goes for a few games before podcasts of doom and gloom. There are certainly questions, every year there are.
 
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squeezebox_1

All-Conference
Mar 6, 2018
959
1,415
93
True and I've never seen him act like he was. My question is why our media types are already b!tching about the QB situation, DL and special teams. Let's see how it goes for a few games before podcasts of doom and gloom. There are certainly questions, every year there are.
It's the offseason, and making proclamations while being 99.9% wrong when the season is wrapped up is a great past time. If anyone on this board proclaimed Indiana a national champion last year, MAD PROPS, I certainly thought they would take a step back.
 

Hawkfan_08*

All-American
Jul 2, 2025
3,541
9,520
113
People who start threads about being pessimistic during the game: yes, bad.

People negative in the game thread: meh. Everyone is on edge during the game. Just keep it there.
 

Max Rebo

All-Conference
Dec 31, 2022
805
2,167
93
People who start threads about being pessimistic during the game: yes, bad.

People negative in the game thread: meh. Everyone is on edge during the game. Just keep it there.
What happens in the game thread stays in the game thread.

Which is why I never follow the game thread.
 
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