FROM MULTIPLE MEMOIRS AND STAFF REPORTS
EDITORS NOTE: TO OBTAIN THE DRAMATIC EFFECT OF THIS POST, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOUR SPEAKERS ARE ON.
It was a hot, steamy, summer night back in June of
2002. The Six Pack softball team were in their first
year of existence. In fact, the SixPackSpeak.com
message board had not even been born. Those of us who
would later form the mother ship of all message boards
were still posting on a message board located in the
valley of the shadow of all things positive, for
negativity was never on those people sides.
The Six Pack softball team was in the championship
game against (Redacted) (whom we will call the sheep),
who had not lost a game in 3 years and who were also
the three time defending league champions.
The Six Pack lead 1-0 in the Top of the 7th inning.
The Sheep had the bases loaded with two out when their
best hitter came to the plate and hit a rope to left
field, which automatically scored the tying run.
BedazzlerDog, who was playing left field, played the
ball on a hop and fired a lazer beam to the plate
which would have gotten out the go ahead run.....BUT,
unfortunately, Six Pack catcher ExtremeDog lost the
ball in the lights and had the ball bounce of his
forehead.
ExtremeDog was knocked out cold. (In fact, people say that the knock out resembled the knock out Bama put on
a certain football team last year when they scored on
an 88 yard TD pass on the third play from scrimmage).
This debacle allowed 4 runs to score, and the Six Pack
trailed The Sheep to 4-1. The Six Pack got the
ensuing batter out, and went into the bottom of the
7th inning trailing 4-1.
The first two Six Pack batters grounded out, then the
next three reached base on three consecutive seeing
eye singles. Six Pack General Manager/Manager
Quitbeggin was now faced with a dilemma. It was
ExtremeDog's turn to bat, and ExtremeDog was still disoriented from the ball ricocheting off of his
forehead, therefore he could not bat. There were no
more subs on the bench for him to use.
Quitbeggin began searching for a replacement hitter.
He looked into the stands and noticed an older
gentleman, in his 40's, sitting in the stands wearing
a (Redacted) High School shirt and a MSU baseball hat.
Here is the exchange that happened between the two:
QB: "Excuse me sir, do you play ball?"
MAN: "I haven't played ball since my senior year of
high school back in 1975 when I was quite the stud at
(Redacted) High School."
QB: "Well we are in a bind and could really use your
help. As you probably saw, ExtremeDog, that guy who attempts to play catcher, was blinded by the light and
took a ball off his forehead, and was knocked out.
It's his turn to bat, and if we don't have a
replacement hitter, he's automatically out, and we
lose the championship game."
MAN: "ExtremeDog???? SixPackSpeak.com ExtremeDog? Wait just a cotton pickin' minute here, are ya'll the Six Pack softball team? "
QB: "Why yes we are. I take it that you are a fan of
ours."
MAN: "Hmm, interesting. Well, not only am I a fan, I
am an avid reader!!"
QB: "Wait a minute, are you Sir Walter Flemming?"
MAN: "Yes I am! I used to hate you guys and despise
you. I was on other web sites where they used to look
at things through maroon colored glasses. But I
finally took those glasses off and saw things as they
really were. When I did, those people out casted me.
I was a sheep who had wandered away from his flock.
Then I finally decided to post on your board, and my
life changed. You guys welcomed me with open arms,
even though I used to despise you. I realize now that
I was lost, but now I am found. I was blinded by the
maroon colored light, but now I see. Shucks, you guys
have been right about everything since 2002 anyway.
How could I go wrong?"
QB: "Awesome Sir Walter. Grab a bat and get up
there."
So Sir Walter Flemming went into the dugout and was
handed a bat by Porno King Kobs. "Use this bat," said
the Porno King, "You'll get a hit every time. I named
it Wonderboy." As Sir Walter walked to the plate, a
faint chant of "WAL-TER FLEM-MING, CLAP CLAP, CLAP
CLAP," began in the stands.
Sir Walter swung hard and missed at the first pitch he
saw. He took the next three pitches inside for balls,
then fouled off the 5th pitch. Sir Walter was down to
his last pitch. Here he has, batting for the Six Pack
Softball team down 4-1 with 2 outs with the bases loaded
in the bottom of the 7th with the chance to be the
hero. This was every kids dream. By this time, the
entire capacity crowd of four began shouting in
unison, "WAL-TER FLEM-MING, CLAP CLAP, CLAP
CLAP!!!!!!" As Sir Walter was about to take the final
pitch, the Ageless Wonder shouted out words of
encouragement, "Come on Walter, you know what to do
with it, HIT IT IN ITS FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The 3-2 pitch was on its way......................
Sir Walter swung on hard and belted the ball deep into
left. The entire crowd knew that the ball had the
height, but the question was, did it have the
distance? The left fielder took off on his horse
after the ball. Was he going to be able to make the
big play (mumble, mumble) and secure victory for the
sheep? The left fielder was on the warning track and
looked up. The Six Pack softball team thought that he
might make a big play (mumble, mumble). The left
fielder then lept to the top of fence and stared up at
the ball.............as it crashed into the bed of
lights atop the light pole. Sparks began to fly out
of the lights. The scene resembled that of a 4th of
July Fireworks display!!
Sir Walter had done it!! He came through in the
clutch and make the big play (mumble, mumble) by
hitting a grand slam to propel the Six Pack softball
team to the championship. Crackerdog started
shouting, "Go crazy folks, go crazy!!!!!!"
Sir Walter hobbled around first pumping his fist in
the air. The scene resembled that of Kirk Gibson
rounding first after hitting a home run for Los
Angeles in the 1988 World Series. The scene was
totally immaculate!!!!!
The whole team had assembled around the plate waiting
to mob Sir Walter when he crossed it. As he rounded
third, Sir Walter's eyes were filled with tears, the
moment of truth had arrived. He was about to jump
into the arms of his fellow Six Pack brothers and
celebrate the championship. And celebrate the
championship they did, Six Pack Speak.com style!
So on your special day, here's to you Sir Walter
Flemming from the Six Pack softball team. We salute
you for leading us to our first championship. For
leading us to victory, we are faithful, brave, and
worthy of you.
<BGSOUND SRC="http://www.sixpackspeak.com/natural.mp3" DELAY=25 LOOP=infinite>
EDITORS NOTE: TO OBTAIN THE DRAMATIC EFFECT OF THIS POST, PLEASE MAKE SURE THAT YOUR SPEAKERS ARE ON.
It was a hot, steamy, summer night back in June of
2002. The Six Pack softball team were in their first
year of existence. In fact, the SixPackSpeak.com
message board had not even been born. Those of us who
would later form the mother ship of all message boards
were still posting on a message board located in the
valley of the shadow of all things positive, for
negativity was never on those people sides.
The Six Pack softball team was in the championship
game against (Redacted) (whom we will call the sheep),
who had not lost a game in 3 years and who were also
the three time defending league champions.
The Six Pack lead 1-0 in the Top of the 7th inning.
The Sheep had the bases loaded with two out when their
best hitter came to the plate and hit a rope to left
field, which automatically scored the tying run.
BedazzlerDog, who was playing left field, played the
ball on a hop and fired a lazer beam to the plate
which would have gotten out the go ahead run.....BUT,
unfortunately, Six Pack catcher ExtremeDog lost the
ball in the lights and had the ball bounce of his
forehead.
ExtremeDog was knocked out cold. (In fact, people say that the knock out resembled the knock out Bama put on
a certain football team last year when they scored on
an 88 yard TD pass on the third play from scrimmage).
This debacle allowed 4 runs to score, and the Six Pack
trailed The Sheep to 4-1. The Six Pack got the
ensuing batter out, and went into the bottom of the
7th inning trailing 4-1.
The first two Six Pack batters grounded out, then the
next three reached base on three consecutive seeing
eye singles. Six Pack General Manager/Manager
Quitbeggin was now faced with a dilemma. It was
ExtremeDog's turn to bat, and ExtremeDog was still disoriented from the ball ricocheting off of his
forehead, therefore he could not bat. There were no
more subs on the bench for him to use.
Quitbeggin began searching for a replacement hitter.
He looked into the stands and noticed an older
gentleman, in his 40's, sitting in the stands wearing
a (Redacted) High School shirt and a MSU baseball hat.
Here is the exchange that happened between the two:
QB: "Excuse me sir, do you play ball?"
MAN: "I haven't played ball since my senior year of
high school back in 1975 when I was quite the stud at
(Redacted) High School."
QB: "Well we are in a bind and could really use your
help. As you probably saw, ExtremeDog, that guy who attempts to play catcher, was blinded by the light and
took a ball off his forehead, and was knocked out.
It's his turn to bat, and if we don't have a
replacement hitter, he's automatically out, and we
lose the championship game."
MAN: "ExtremeDog???? SixPackSpeak.com ExtremeDog? Wait just a cotton pickin' minute here, are ya'll the Six Pack softball team? "
QB: "Why yes we are. I take it that you are a fan of
ours."
MAN: "Hmm, interesting. Well, not only am I a fan, I
am an avid reader!!"
QB: "Wait a minute, are you Sir Walter Flemming?"
MAN: "Yes I am! I used to hate you guys and despise
you. I was on other web sites where they used to look
at things through maroon colored glasses. But I
finally took those glasses off and saw things as they
really were. When I did, those people out casted me.
I was a sheep who had wandered away from his flock.
Then I finally decided to post on your board, and my
life changed. You guys welcomed me with open arms,
even though I used to despise you. I realize now that
I was lost, but now I am found. I was blinded by the
maroon colored light, but now I see. Shucks, you guys
have been right about everything since 2002 anyway.
How could I go wrong?"
QB: "Awesome Sir Walter. Grab a bat and get up
there."
So Sir Walter Flemming went into the dugout and was
handed a bat by Porno King Kobs. "Use this bat," said
the Porno King, "You'll get a hit every time. I named
it Wonderboy." As Sir Walter walked to the plate, a
faint chant of "WAL-TER FLEM-MING, CLAP CLAP, CLAP
CLAP," began in the stands.
Sir Walter swung hard and missed at the first pitch he
saw. He took the next three pitches inside for balls,
then fouled off the 5th pitch. Sir Walter was down to
his last pitch. Here he has, batting for the Six Pack
Softball team down 4-1 with 2 outs with the bases loaded
in the bottom of the 7th with the chance to be the
hero. This was every kids dream. By this time, the
entire capacity crowd of four began shouting in
unison, "WAL-TER FLEM-MING, CLAP CLAP, CLAP
CLAP!!!!!!" As Sir Walter was about to take the final
pitch, the Ageless Wonder shouted out words of
encouragement, "Come on Walter, you know what to do
with it, HIT IT IN ITS FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
The 3-2 pitch was on its way......................
Sir Walter swung on hard and belted the ball deep into
left. The entire crowd knew that the ball had the
height, but the question was, did it have the
distance? The left fielder took off on his horse
after the ball. Was he going to be able to make the
big play (mumble, mumble) and secure victory for the
sheep? The left fielder was on the warning track and
looked up. The Six Pack softball team thought that he
might make a big play (mumble, mumble). The left
fielder then lept to the top of fence and stared up at
the ball.............as it crashed into the bed of
lights atop the light pole. Sparks began to fly out
of the lights. The scene resembled that of a 4th of
July Fireworks display!!
Sir Walter had done it!! He came through in the
clutch and make the big play (mumble, mumble) by
hitting a grand slam to propel the Six Pack softball
team to the championship. Crackerdog started
shouting, "Go crazy folks, go crazy!!!!!!"
Sir Walter hobbled around first pumping his fist in
the air. The scene resembled that of Kirk Gibson
rounding first after hitting a home run for Los
Angeles in the 1988 World Series. The scene was
totally immaculate!!!!!
The whole team had assembled around the plate waiting
to mob Sir Walter when he crossed it. As he rounded
third, Sir Walter's eyes were filled with tears, the
moment of truth had arrived. He was about to jump
into the arms of his fellow Six Pack brothers and
celebrate the championship. And celebrate the
championship they did, Six Pack Speak.com style!
So on your special day, here's to you Sir Walter
Flemming from the Six Pack softball team. We salute
you for leading us to our first championship. For
leading us to victory, we are faithful, brave, and
worthy of you.
<BGSOUND SRC="http://www.sixpackspeak.com/natural.mp3" DELAY=25 LOOP=infinite>
