Dad fell last night and broke his hip.
The official having elderly parents can stink sometimes thread
- Thread starter Glenn's Take
- Start date
I was just thinking about this last night. If my mom were to pass before my dad (they're both early 70s) I would have NO idea how to take care of him. Dude is on so much medicine and has like 2 dr. appointments a week. Top that off with early signs of dementia ... I guess every generation has to deal with this, but it's mine so it's the worst thing ever.
edit: love that they're both still here. Not everyone gets to have them around so long.
edit: love that they're both still here. Not everyone gets to have them around so long.
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My parents screwed up and only had boys. From what I've seen women do a significantly better job taking care of their parents than men do.
Pretty much the same except dad is 80 and mom 73. Also add in dialysis 3 days a week.
bold take in an official thread ... whew :grimace: .... i'm sorry you have to take care of your family? You love your dad and this title was a failed attempt at humor imo. But you are not that kind of guy we know. Change the title.
Our Dad had a heart a-stroke about 15 years ago...my brother & I tell our sister every time we see her "Better hope nothing happens to Mom...you're screwed." Tongue in cheek....sort of...
For the record...haven't noticed my parents stinking yet.
My parents are very active in the community helping senior citizens who are not well off. The big charity they support and actively participate in is meals on wheels. They do multiple deliveries per week, and my dad has a few stories of walking in on people who he thought were dead, but instead were just in a very, very, deep sleep. I'm not sure if all this is altruistic; I think they are hoping for good karma when that time comes around for them. Ha!
Dad went to the hospital for flu and pneumonia February 11. He died February 22. He had COPD and emphysema with 15% lung capacity.
Mom had L4-L5 surgery January 23. She is better now, but they were married 54 years and this has been a difficult two months.
In January, Dad's defribilator went off while he was washing dishes. It knocked him on his ***. He got up, finished the dishes, then called me for me to take him to the ER. He was a tough, stubborn dude. I miss him.
Mom had L4-L5 surgery January 23. She is better now, but they were married 54 years and this has been a difficult two months.
In January, Dad's defribilator went off while he was washing dishes. It knocked him on his ***. He got up, finished the dishes, then called me for me to take him to the ER. He was a tough, stubborn dude. I miss him.
At my age (late 50s) we have friends losing parents every month, both of us lost our dads within the last 14 months, but at least they lived a long time. My wife's mother died of cancer when she was younger than we are now, when my wife was in college. Now THAT really stinks . . .
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Pretty much dropped my entire life 4 years ago and moved to Knoxville to take care of my father. His health was declining so it was just one of those things I decided to do. He was on dialysis 3 times a week. After seeing the hell he went through no way would I ever do that, the toxins can just kill me. He fell multiple times, broke both hips and femur on 3 separate falls. I had to pick him up probably 2 dozen times and carry him to either his recliner or my truck en route to ER. One broken hip was the Saturday of a UK BB game few years ago. He waited all day until he could watch UK game that evening before he let me take him to the ER. Can't imagine the pain. The loss of mobility and freedom really does a number on their mental state as well.
Unfortunately he suffered a massive stroke the day after this past Thanksgiving and passed a few days later. Do not regret ever making the decision to move down and help him, was able to reconnect all over as adults. You take them for granted that they are always around and try to prepare for the inevitable but you are never prepared.
Unfortunately he suffered a massive stroke the day after this past Thanksgiving and passed a few days later. Do not regret ever making the decision to move down and help him, was able to reconnect all over as adults. You take them for granted that they are always around and try to prepare for the inevitable but you are never prepared.
Ship 'em overseas for affordable, comfortable elder care.
https://www.thinkadvisor.com/2017/0...e-health-care-in-ret/?slreturn=20180402151256
Added Bonus/Pro Tip: bang the hot Latina or Asian nurses when you visit. Maybe start a second family so the grandkids can visit them too!
https://www.thinkadvisor.com/2017/0...e-health-care-in-ret/?slreturn=20180402151256
Added Bonus/Pro Tip: bang the hot Latina or Asian nurses when you visit. Maybe start a second family so the grandkids can visit them too!
My parents are dead. Dad died in 1994 and Mom in 2003. I miss them both. I was with Dad when he died. I went home to get more clothes and Mom died before I could get back. I still miss both of them. Old folks can be a pain in the ***, but they can't help it. You will miss them when they are gone.
Life is what happens while your planning on life. Obviously that’s hardly an original thought. I’ve buried grandparents and parents, friends to. It’s a part of the cycle of life. My dad passed almost 40 years ago and I miss him to this moment. I think we’re considered old at 60 and elderly at 70. I’m staring that down. You know what’s funny? In my heart, my mind, and my soul I feel like I’m 22. It’s only my body which is failing me.
You're a good person and one of a select few. I'm a caregiver for my wife that has a couple of chronic illnesses and still work full time. It ain't easy
My dad is 80 and has pulmonary fibrosis. He got food poisoning last fall and made his lungs fill up with fluid. We about lost him. It was the worst I ever seen him. He was in the hospital for about three weeks, than out for a couple then back in for a couple of weeks. He did this off and on until about December last year. Since then, he is finally doing some better. But as the OP said, it sucks going through this. He has always been superman in my eyes. It hard to see him as anything but.
I wouldn't know...my mom died when she was 59 (cancer :angry
and my dad died when he was 69 (heart attack). For those that still have your parents, enjoy them why you have them.
and my dad died when he was 69 (heart attack). For those that still have your parents, enjoy them why you have them.Could any of you move a parent in with you? That's what I'm looking at right now. My mom is a handful.
One should be obliged without question to take care of ones that took care of them. Amazing that some just can't/won't find the time.
When Mom was very old and I was there visiting I would beg her for some of her Fried Chicken, home-made biscuits and cream gravy. She was a very good cook. She would do it, and I would wash the dishes. Good times.
My Mom died of a heart attack when she was 59. I was 38. She didn't get to see her grandchildren grow up. Wished every day for the past 28 years she was around for me to help take care of.
At my grandmother's funeral, my great uncle was talking about dialysis and said he'd go see Dr. Smith & Wesson if they ever tried to put him on dialysis. Always stuck with me.
Yep. I feel really bad for Glen{{[n]}}’s folks cause they have Glen//::n::\\ for a son.
To be honest, I don't really think it bothers my dad that much except for having to do it. It's not painful. He just has to sit there and watch TV 3 times a week for 3 hours a day.
My dad is dead Glen
Is Glenn a suspect?
I actually thought glen started this thread as an alibi to cover up murdering his parents as some kind of Better Call Saul "record". But since you mentioned it first
I agree. If anybody on this site is a low-down no-good murderer it's got to be Glenn.
In the old days poor folks would take care of older poor folks that did not have family or did not have family that was willing to look after them. Maw Maw and Paw Paw took care of an old man that was not related to us. He looked really old, but I was a little kid so I don't know that detail.
My Mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was 18, fought like a demon for three and a half years but passed when I was 22. Never got to see her grandkids or great grandchildren. She's been gone for over 30 years and I still miss her so. Hell, my kids miss her and they don't even know it.
Be glad and thankful if you still have them. No one has ever or will ever love you more than your folks did or do.
Those days seem to pretty much be gone or at least in my neck of the world. It's hard enough to find families that take care of their own elderly kin let alone someone elses. Send em to the rest homes!
Even though I'm pretty far off, I would rather go to a retirement home/assisted living when I get to a certain age (not a nursing home, unless I'm in bad shape) than live with one of my kids, when the time comes. There seem to be a lot nicer places to wrap it up in now than there used to be. Hopefully I can play my financial cards right for when the time comes.
Waaay too many of my mom and dad's friends are selling their house and renting places so that they don't have to do maintenance on it. I get that part, but they're also draining their resources doing it and won't have much left when it comes time where they can't be on their own. If you're going to pay rent to somewhere, seems like it should be a place where you can have some help when you need it. JMO.
Waaay too many of my mom and dad's friends are selling their house and renting places so that they don't have to do maintenance on it. I get that part, but they're also draining their resources doing it and won't have much left when it comes time where they can't be on their own. If you're going to pay rent to somewhere, seems like it should be a place where you can have some help when you need it. JMO.
Cat's in the Cradle
Harry Chapin
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say, I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know I'm gonna be like you
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, dad?
I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
Said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him
And…
[Verse 3]
Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please"
[Chorus]
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son
I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad
You know we'll have a good time then
[Verse 4]
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
Harry Chapin
My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say, I'm gonna be like you, dad
You know I'm gonna be like you
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man in the moon
When you coming home, dad?
I don't know when
But we'll get together then
You know we'll have a good time then
My son turned ten just the other day
He said, thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play
Can you teach me to throw, I said, not today
I got a lot to do, he said, that's okay
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed
Said, I'm gonna be like him, yeah
You know I'm gonna be like him
And…
[Verse 3]
Well, he came from college just the other day
So much like a man I just had to say
"Son, I'm proud of you, can you sit for a while"
He shook his head and said with a smile
"What I'd really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys
See you later, can I have them please"
[Chorus]
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon
Little boy blue and the man on the moon
When you comin' home son
I don't know when, but we'll get together then, Dad
You know we'll have a good time then
[Verse 4]
I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind"
He said, "I'd love to, Dad, if I can find the time
You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, Dad
It's been sure nice talking to you"
And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me
I ended up being caregiver to an older brother whose kidneys eventually failed. He went to dialysis for a couple of weeks and decided he didn't want to do that any more. He was in a nursing home and I had power of attorney. The nursing home called me one day saying he was refusing to go. I talked to my brother and told him that if he didn't do dialysis he would die He said he knew that and that was what he wanted. I told them to keep him unconscious and pain free and let him die. He died nine days later. I still admire him for having that much nerve.
I would do the same thing if it were me.
