Things you want to say to your co-workwers, but can't.

[funKYcat75]

Since we live in a society, we can't always say the things we think directly to people's faces. So this thread is your outlet to write down what you want to say/yell/shout.

I'll start

You sent me that text 2 minutes ago and now you're knocking on my locked door asking if I got the text when I have already texted you back and taken care of the issue. I hope you enjoyed your walk, now go away.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

I've been working at home for 2 years so all of our meetings are via Zoom. We had a meeting about setting a date for returning. My boss starts by going "Ok we are returning on 4/1/22 and it is only going to be one day a week" (Stupid but not relevant)

then he goes "Does anyone have any questions?".

THE VERY FIRST QUESTION was "so, are we going back to the office? If so what day do we start?"

PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[TortElvisII]

I have had a couple that stunk. I always wanted to ask them can you bathe better? Got to talking to one once and he complained his family of 5 went through a bar of soap a week and how they were going to have to use less. I replied that when I use bar soap, I go through a bar by myself in 4 days or less.

 

[funKYcat75]

family of 5 went through a bar of soap a week

I go through a bar by myself in 4 days or le

Those both seem extreme, but at least you don't stink.

 

[cricket3]

I came in here to complain about my co-workers but now I'm just baffled how someone can go through a bar of soap in 4 days.

 

[MudererofCrows]

-Stop CC’ing me on every god damn email.

-Thank you for the hours I spent on paperwork and talking to HR to purchase you an 800 dollar office chair to accommodate your disability only for you to use a job offer from another company to get put on full time work from home status.

-I don’t need to be in this ******* meeting. Do your job.

 

[funKYcat75]

Stop CC’ing me on every god damn email.

While you're at it, stop BCC'ing things that are not sensitive. Because then I get that same email forwarded to me from three different people when I have alreayd received it myself.

 

[BlueRaider22]

"Just because we work in a medical facility where wearing scrubs is acceptable, it doesn't mean that we should mail it in with our professional appearance. I know they're basically pajamas, but that doesn't mean we should wear slippers, zip-up hoodies, and avoid brushing our hair...."

 

[TortElvisII]

Those both seem extreme, but at least you don't stink.

I pay for it with dry skin. And I think I do stink which is why I use excessive soap. My neurosis.

 

[TortElvisII]

I came in here to complain about my co-workers but now I'm just baffled how someone can go through a bar of soap in 4 days.

I like to be clean.

I work in a very dirty job.

After i bathe in the morning if I get hot from either working out or mowing, I will bathe again. Then work out again, get hot and bathe again.

 

[warrior-cat]

I've been working at home for 2 years so all of our meetings are via Zoom. We had a meeting about setting a date for returning. My boss starts by going "Ok we are returning on 4/1/22 and it is only going to be one day a week" (Stupid but not relevant)

then he goes "Does anyone have any questions?".

THE VERY FIRST QUESTION was "so, are we going back to the office? If so what day do we start?"

PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We used to have quarterly meetings on a Friday at 13:00 after lunch and when the meeting was over we would get off early for the weekend. There always seemed to be a couple of people who after the meat of the meeting was through would want a clarification or a repeat of what was said. Used to piss everyone off.

As far as saying what I wanted to co-workers, I usually did anyway. One guy in particular who later became our supervisor used to complain and ask how I could get away with it. Once he became the supervisor (I turned it down being about two years out from retirement), he called me in the office about 2 weeks later and said that was going to change. I told him no it wasn't and he threatened administrative action but I told him it would do him no good because I had just dropped my retirement papers (earlier than planned). Surprised he told his boss who tried to talk me out of it. Nope. That is where I am now (retired and loving it) a year and a half later.

 

[JoeSwag]

"Thank you for CCing my boss on an email to me as a passive aggressive way to try and throw me under the bus instead of me dealing with an easily fixable situation. I know your desire for brownie points certainly outweighs my ability to provide for my family."

"There's no need to reply to the group text that I was put in unwillingly. Not everyone needs to hear you contribute 'thanks' and 'good job, (insert co-worker name)."

"STOP TALKING SO GD LOUD!"

"Please do not wear skirts. Your legs look like Vienna sausages crammed into a LEGO."

 

[_Mav_]

 

[Dubya C Dubya]

"I'd like to get me some of that."

 

[JoeSwag]

I have had a couple that stunk. I always wanted to ask them can you bathe better? Got to talking to one once and he complained his family of 5 went through a bar of soap a week and how they were going to have to use less. I replied that when I use bar soap, I go through a bar by myself in 4 days or less.

There's this obese woman in my office a few days a week and she smells. I think once you reach a certain size, you must not be able to wash every crevice.

 

[WildcatfaninOhio]

“I know that you think you’re more important than me. Or perhaps you’re just socially awkward. But we’ve worked together in the same building for 30+ years. When we pass each other in the hallway it’s just common courtesy to say good morning, say hey, smile, a nod of the head. Something. But to avert your eyes and walk by like I’m not there is rude, and makes me think you’re a jackass.”

 

[WildcatFan1982]

There's this obese woman in my office a few days a week and she smells. I think once you reach a certain size, you must not be able to wash every crevice.

Several years ago I had a woman like that. I was sitting at the desk next to her and it smelled so bad I had to go throw up. I actually went to our boss to tell her I couldn't sit by her anymore because of how bad she smelled.

 

[LineSkiCat14]

“I know that you think you’re more important than me. Or perhaps you’re just socially awkward. But we’ve worked together in the same building for 30+ years. When we pass each other in the hallway it’s just common courtesy to say good morning, say hey, smile, a nod of the head. Something. But to avert your eyes and walk by like I’m not there is rude, and makes me think you’re a jackass.”

I'll take the opposing view.. unless I'm friends with you, don't talk to me. I'm here to get paid, not to make small talk and say "Wild weather we're having, huh?" in the break room.

Edit: I almost always smile at people I'm passing though.. That's the least you can do.

 

[jwheat]

“I know that you think you’re more important than me. Or perhaps you’re just socially awkward. But we’ve worked together in the same building for 30+ years. When we pass each other in the hallway it’s just common courtesy to say good morning, say hey, smile, a nod of the head. Something. But to avert your eyes and walk by like I’m not there is rude, and makes me think you’re a jackass.”

I love hard staring at people that do that. So hard that they notice me and have to look up

 

[WildcatFan1982]

I'll take the opposing view.. unless I'm friends with you, don't talk to me. I'm here to get paid, not to make small talk and say "Wild weather we're having, huh?" in the break room.

We had a problem a couple of years ago with people getting into arguments and stuff at work. Our boss called us into a meeting room and told us "If you have a problem with your coworker, just don't talk to them. You aren't here to make friends, you're here to work. You are under no obligation to speak to anyone while you are here unless it's me"

and then I just said "And you all were wondering why I always have my earbuds in?"

 

[LineSkiCat14]

We had a problem a couple of years ago with people getting into arguments and stuff at work. Our boss called us into a meeting room and told us "If you have a problem with your coworker, just don't talk to them. You aren't here to make friends, you're here to work. You are under no obligation to speak to anyone while you are here unless it's me"

and then I just said "And you all were wondering why I always have my earbuds in?"

Exactly. Now, unique to my situation is that working in IT, your "customers" are all the staff that work in the company. Everyone in said office can technically request your help at any time. I've had people come up to me in the urinal to ask me IT questions, and I've had people stop me in public when they happen to run into me.

So after a while, you kind of develop this "us (IT) vs. them" mentality. And the more I make chit chat with workers the more likely they are to be start asking me IT questions.

 

[MegaBlue05]

I’ve been remote since 2020 and changed jobs in mid 2021. My new gig is great, but I have a few from my old company.

1. To the 20-somethings in marketing: Nobody cares about your workout routine or what your boyfriend did for you over the weekend. STFU and stop giggling so loudly.

2. Worked with several folks from India. Bathe more often and curry isn’t cologne/perfume

3. To the extroverts begging the company to make everyone return to the office: I am enjoying not having to commute 120 miles round trip each day. I like working in sweats and waking up three minutes before the workday begins. Sorry you can’t adequately entertain yourself and can’t survive without falapping your gums all day, but why you wanna f this up for those of us who want to stay remote?

 

[entropy13]

I've been working at home for 2 years so all of our meetings are via Zoom. We had a meeting about setting a date for returning. My boss starts by going "Ok we are returning on 4/1/22 and it is only going to be one day a week" (Stupid but not relevant)

then he goes "Does anyone have any questions?".

THE VERY FIRST QUESTION was "so, are we going back to the office? If so what day do we start?"

PAY ATTENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, to be fair, the person asking the question could've thought it was an April Fool's joke...

 

[LineSkiCat14]

I’ve been remote since 2020 and changed jobs in mid 2021. My new gig is great, but I have a few from my old company.

1. To the 20-somethings in marketing: Nobody cares about your workout routine or what your boyfriend did for you over the weekend. STFU and stop giggling so loudly.

2. Worked with several folks from India. Bathe more often and curry isn’t cologne/perfume

3. To the extroverts begging the company to make everyone return to the office: I am enjoying not having to commute 120 miles round trip each day. I like working in sweats and waking up three minutes before the workday begins. Sorry you can’t adequately entertain yourself and can’t survive without falapping your gums all day, but why you wanna f this up for those of us who want to stay remote?

2. "kindly do the needful"

 

[WildcatFan1982]

Well, to be fair, the person asking the question could've thought it was an April Fool's joke...

It might as well be. They gave us 15 desks for 50 people. That is why it's going to be one day a week. So we rotate the days. And they also said if our productivity stays the same as it is now they will stop making us come in once a week.

 

[JoeSwag]

3. To the extroverts begging the company to make everyone return to the office: I am enjoying not having to commute 120 miles round trip each day. I like working in sweats and waking up three minutes before the workday begins. Sorry you can’t adequately entertain yourself and can’t survive without falapping your gums all day, but why you wanna f this up for those of us who want to stay remote?

WTF are these people's problem? I don't get to work remotely but my best friend does and my wife does. It helps with everything!!!! Cuts down on wasted money--clothes, gas, travel time, just simple wasting away at a desk for 40 hours just because you're supposed to. But there's always that pathetic person who cannot stand to be alone that wants to jack it up for everyone else AND THEY CAN'T EVEN GIVE YOU A LEGIT REASON HOW IT'S BETTER TO COME BACK!

My buddy showed a chart proving how efficient he was and showed all of the awards he won during the year of remote work. It didn't matter because someone in upper management likes status quo or there's an envious co-worker. As a result to return to work, my buddy's job has had an enormous amount of turnover. You'd think more companies would see the efficiency of this but it's an ideological battle for those who want status quo so there's no measurement one can use to change their minds.

Even at my job, I absolutely could do this job anywhere. I just need my laptop. But the only time I get to work from home if if I have a sick kid. I know bosses want to essentially be able to come up and bother you at your office whenever they need something but the same thing could be achieved by A) text B) the IM in gmail C) email D) Phone call

 

[LineSkiCat14]

Bruh.. working from home.. I think I'd rather jump off a building than ever go back.

No needless interaction. No public restrooms. Don't have to sit through pointless meetings (where as WFH, I can do other ****). No commute. I can sneak out for an hour. Management really has no say in my schedule. No work staff to bother me aside from Slack, no work attire.. I mean, I'm topless as I write this with just gym shorts on.

 

[_Mav_]

Quick question: Can we amend the thread to include fellow Catpawians and/or moderators? Asking for a friend.

 

[rudd1]

^absolutely, mav. Let er rip.

-opposite on work from home than many of you: my home is mine...keeping it that way is key for work life balance.

^that said, I'm a high level Sr management type with a lot of varied responsibilities and tasks. May be different if I were in a different position.

 

[MegaBlue05]

2. "kindly do the needful"

Classic. Along with saying “yes” to every question.

 

[Ohiocatfan826]

I have no issue with the work from home requests as a manager. I do have a problem when you are "working from home" and never seem to be able to respond to emails or answer the phone. If you are working from home I fully expect you to respond to IM's, emails and phone calls during your regular business hours. It is nearly impossible to tell if someone is actually working from home when they say they are, but as a manager you wont be doing it if you cant respond. All I can do is apply my judgement and if you dont answer in 20-30 minutes tops, you will find yourself back at work in your desk.

 

[LineSkiCat14]

I have no issue with the work from home requests as a manager. I do have a problem when you are "working from home" and never seem to be able to respond to emails or answer the phone. If you are working from home I fully expect you to respond to IM's, emails and phone calls during your regular business hours. It is nearly impossible to tell if someone is actually working from home when they say they are, but as a manager you wont be doing it if you cant respond. All I can do is apply my judgement and if you dont answer in 20-30 minutes tops, you will find yourself back at work in your desk.

I do find it crazy how some of my coworkers are so unresponsive WFH.. in part because work needs to get done, but also because it's so damn easy to just keep your phone on you. I don't need you to have an answer for me immediately, but at least get back to me and be like "Hey give me 30"..

We all know that WFH affords you some opprotunity to step away and go do other stuff.. So it makes sense to keep communication open in case someone needs you. Otherwise, you might get caught running errands or watching a movie.

 

[MegaBlue05]

WTF are these people's problem? I don't get to work remotely but my best friend does and my wife does. It helps with everything!!!! Cuts down on wasted money--clothes, gas, travel time, just simple wasting away at a desk for 40 hours just because you're supposed to. But there's always that pathetic person who cannot stand to be alone that wants to jack it up for everyone else AND THEY CAN'T EVEN GIVE YOU A LEGIT REASON HOW IT'S BETTER TO COME BACK!

My buddy showed a chart proving how efficient he was and showed all of the awards he won during the year of remote work. It didn't matter because someone in upper management likes status quo or there's an envious co-worker. As a result to return to work, my buddy's job has had an enormous amount of turnover. You'd think more companies would see the efficiency of this but it's an ideological battle for those who want status quo so there's no measurement one can use to change their minds.

Even at my job, I absolutely could do this job anywhere. I just need my laptop. But the only time I get to work from home if if I have a sick kid. I know bosses want to essentially be able to come up and bother you at your office whenever they need something but the same thing could be achieved by A) text B) the IM in gmail C) email D) Phone call

I am the same way. My job can be done anywhere in the world with an internet connection, laptop and working cellphone.

I’ve been way more productive working from home. I have a designated office in my basement where I have zero distractions and can work in dead silence or as noisy as I want to be.

I don’t feel compelled to participate in office small talk. I don’t have co-workers coming by my desk to ask “You watch that game last night?” No potentially awkward conversations about politics or religion or anything else not really appropriate for work. No cackling hens a few desks over. Can use the restroom without having to walk down a long hall into a public bathroom filled with nasty people who don’t even wash their hands after shitting. Don’t feel compelled to go to lunch with a group of coworkers when I have work to do. I can eat at my desk, in the kitchen or outside on my deck at a time that best suits me.

And the savings in gas is worth it alone, especially now

 

[_Mav_]

To Whom It May Concern:

You're one of the stupidest people I've ever encountered. Unfortunately for Catpaw, your stupidity is exceeded by your dictatorial nature, which itself is exceeded by your capriciousness. You're a petty, vindictive person, and our collective experience is only lessened by your continued presence here.

 

[MegaBlue05]

I have no issue with the work from home requests as a manager. I do have a problem when you are "working from home" and never seem to be able to respond to emails or answer the phone. If you are working from home I fully expect you to respond to IM's, emails and phone calls during your regular business hours. It is nearly impossible to tell if someone is actually working from home when they say they are, but as a manager you wont be doing it if you cant respond. All I can do is apply my judgement and if you dont answer in 20-30 minutes tops, you will find yourself back at work in your desk.

Do you take into account meal times, breaks, etc.?

My last boss at the job I quit in May was a micromanager from hell. She tried to get ahold of me while I was pooping about some low-priority nonsense. She threatened to make me come back to the office because it took 10 minutes for me to respond. I literally said “I was pooping. Am I allowed to do that during work?Do you want me to take my computer and phone in the bathroom?”

It got to the point where I felt like I couldn’t do anything without being chained to that desk all day. I’d get WHERE ARE YOU? IMs while trying to eat lunch.

This is the same boss who told me “You could work on Xx project over the weekend on your own time to avoid OT.” I said, “I could. But I’m not going to. Monday-Friday is your time. Saturday and Sunday is my time and I don’t work for free.” She was mad, but work-life balance is more important to me than being expected to be available 24/7/365.

 

[WildcatFan1982]

Do you take into account meal times, breaks, etc.?

My last boss at the job I quit in May was a micromanager from hell. She tried to get ahold of me while I was pooping about some low-priority nonsense. She threatened to make me come back to the office because it took 10 minutes for me to respond. I literally said “I was pooping. Am I allowed to do that during work?Do you want me to take my computer and phone in the bathroom?”

We have to login to a program everyday that acts like a time clock. When we go to the bathroom or anything we are supposed to change our status in the program to do that. I haven't done that in well over a year. Mainly because even when I did I'd still get IMs from people

 

[Baron Mowbray]

I realize in your fat caloric stupor you somehow thought I wouldn't see through your mewling boot-licking attempt to backstab me to my boss, but the thing is I know he knows he wouldn't even have his job without me and thus it only makes your pathetic attempt that much more groveling insomuch as a bottom feeding snail can ooze out of its shell long enough to dream in the sunlight before a bird pecks its tiny brains out and feeds it back to the chirping chicklings you hatched out of.

 

[rudd1]

To Whom It May Concern:

You're one of the stupidest people I've ever encountered. Unfortunately for Catpaw, your stupidity is exceeded by your dictatorial nature, which itself is exceeded by your capriciousness. You're a petty, vindictive person, and our collective experience is only lessened by your continued presence here.

-sorry man. I'll try to do better.

 

[_Mav_]

-sorry man. I'll try to do better.

It's not you. It's me.

 

[Ohiocatfan826]

Do you take into account meal times, breaks, etc.?

My last boss at the job I quit in May was a micromanager from hell. She tried to get ahold of me while I was pooping about some low-priority nonsense. She threatened to make me come back to the office because it took 10 minutes for me to respond. I literally said “I was pooping. Am I allowed to do that during work?Do you want me to take my computer and phone in the bathroom?”

It got to the point where I felt like I couldn’t do anything without being chained to that desk all day. I’d get WHERE ARE YOU? IMs while trying to eat lunch.

This is the same boss who told me “You could work on Xx project over the weekend on your own time to avoid OT.” I said, “I could. But I’m not going to. Monday-Friday is your time. Saturday and Sunday is my time and I don’t work for free.” She was mad, but work-life balance is more important to me than being expected to be available 24/7/365.

Yeah, I think I specifically said if they dont respond in 20-30 minutes. I also understand stand occasionally taking longer than that, but in reality if everytime I try to reach out to you about something it takes 20-30 minutes, you are not on your computer or working. When they are here typical responses are in 10 minutes tops.

I dont micromanage and I dont need to reach out to employees to perform my job either, so when I do reach out I expect an answer. Again I think it becomes to easy to step away often to do other things, and still turn around and claim you are working. I have some who are responsive just like when they are in the building, but the ones that arent I struggle with believing you are "working"