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Wives and Common Sense

nathajw

nathajw

Heisman
Mar 20, 2007
106,214
14,887
113
Let's share some classic or recent stories of our loved ones.

We're moving to a new house just 10 min from our old this weekend and DFW just got hit with freezing rain last night. Both our vehicles were left in the driveway due to a full garage of boxes. My wife is an early early riser and got up at her usual 5 am to go get another load of some stuff she just "really needed" and she took my truck. I get up this morning and go into the garage to see boxes that were pushed aside and my truck sitting in a lake of water.

"oh wow, it was just really cold outside and I didn't want to unload in the wind"

She went and got 6 boxes that would have taken less than 3 minutes to bring from the truck to the garage.

(women, feel free to join in with stories about us Neanderthals)
 
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SquinkY5786

SquinkY5786

Heisman
Dec 21, 2005
46,784
54,743
68
My wife took it upon herself to move furniture on new wood floors. The furniture had the small metal rollers . Well to get it to fit through a door she tipped it on its side and pulled it through. It made about a foot long engraving in the wood floor. She then decided to take the brown crayon and color it in hoping I wouldn’t notice. Now in order to stain the etch I have to somehow clean out the crayon.
 
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Pokes15

All-Conference
Aug 28, 2006
2,939
1,273
113
1981grad said:
I have 6 daughters, after counting the throw pillows, I decided to count pairs of shoes. We are the proud owners of 137 pairs of shoes.
Click to expand...

Holy hell, 6 daughters!?!? I have three under the age of 6 and I am not sure what the hell I am going to do once the teenage years set in...
 
Been Jammin

Been Jammin

Heisman
Jun 26, 2003
66,114
48,992
113
ostate5786 said:
My wife took it upon herself to move furniture on new wood floors. The furniture had the small metal rollers . Well to get it to fit through a door she tipped it on its side and pulled it through. It made about a foot long engraving in the wood floor. She then decided to take the brown crayon and color it in hoping I wouldn’t notice. Now in order to stain the etch I have to somehow clean out the crayon.
Click to expand...

Literally LOL ed.
 
agentorange84

agentorange84

All-Conference
Jan 4, 2005
15,495
1,083
113
With all the Christmas crap sitting around on tables I don’t have anywhere to put my drink!
 
xplor58

xplor58

All-Conference
Feb 5, 2003
2,048
2,523
113
Pokes15 said:
Holy hell, 6 daughters!?!? I have three under the age of 6 and I am not sure what the hell I am going to do once the teenage years set in...
Click to expand...

I think you may have to get a large lockable closet for there teenage years. Not sure if the closet is for then or for you!;)
 
A

Air_Thurman

Heisman
Jan 16, 2003
32,325
31,286
63
My wife has the pillow sickness also. We have a huge sectional but there is only room for like two people to sit because of the 20 pillows. She also has like 40 throws (that is what she calls them. I think they are blankets).
 
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nathajw

nathajw

Heisman
Mar 20, 2007
106,214
14,887
113
1981grad said:
Looks like 65 for me. I told them I would put them thru school, but they need to have very simple weddings. I'm sure I will cave in on that one as I already have on two of them.
Click to expand...

My dad would always ***** that if he had 3 sons instead of one and 2 daughters he would have "retired a damn decade ago." I couldn't pry the man's wallet open with a crowbar but my sisters had him wrapped around their fingers.
 
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A$$hole Consulting

A$$hole Consulting

Heisman
Jun 11, 2001
25,259
29,253
68
nathajw said:
My dad would always ***** that if he had 3 sons instead of one and 2 daughters he would have "retired a damn decade ago." I couldn't pry the man's wallet open with a crowbar but my sisters had him wrapped around their fingers.
Click to expand...
I’m not sure there is a more important relationship than one between a father and daughter.
 
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nathajw

nathajw

Heisman
Mar 20, 2007
106,214
14,887
113
squeak said:
I’m not sure there is a more important relationship than one between a father and daughter.
Click to expand...

I have three sons but I've already told my wife she'll have to finally take the disciplinarian duties from me if we ever have a daughter. I'd be a doormat, completely powerless.
 
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Rulz

All-American
Jan 9, 2005
8,091
5,650
0
My wife called me one day after we recently got our car out of the shop. She was screaming....hysterical...crying even. She demanded I take the car back to the shop and make them....

Put the steering wheel back on correctly.

I told her, ever so calmly...."would you please turn the wheel while pulling forward and stop when the car goes in a strait line, then tell me which way the little symbol is facing..."

After seeing that she was an idiot, she hung up on me.
 
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C

Cowpoke

Heisman
May 29, 2001
89,079
10,347
113
Rulz said:
My wife called me one day after we recently got our car out of the shop. She was screaming....hysterical...crying even. She demanded I take the car back to the shop and make them....

Put the steering wheel back on correctly.

I told her, ever so calmly...."would you please turn the wheel while pulling forward and stop when the car goes in a strait line, then tell me which way the little symbol is facing..."

After seeing that she was an idiot, she hung up on me.
Click to expand...

 
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