2015: Were The Seers Correct?

Just as every year begins with confident prognostication, so it ends with surprises, disappointments, and the easily foreseen. 2015 was no different. However, some of the ancient Greek soothsayers used their gifts to predict major happenings last year, and now is the time to see how accurate were their visions. “The Queen, the Duke, the Clown: all the wrong ones crowned.” Though Steve Harvey totally harshed Miss Colombia’s mellow, things will probably work out just fine for her. Also, we all know who should have been crowned the NCAA Men’s Basketball champions, and it wasn’t Duke. The Clown? Maybe ex-Miss Universe stakeholder Donald Trump, who currently leads the pack for the GOP presidential nomination to the chagrin of many Democrats and Republicans. [caption id="attachment_191319" align="alignright" width="277"] Not weed. Sorry.[/caption] “Regents named shall rise to fame and the righteous shall be crowned.” If being named royalty were all it took, the Sacramento Kings would win the NBA title every year. We’re pulling for you, Boogie, Rondo, and WCS, but it ain’t gonna happen for a while. The Royals, however, couldn’t be named anymore, um, royally, and took home the World Series trophy. The aptly name but poorly spelled American Pharoah became the first Triple Crown winner in 38 years, then won in the Breeders’ Cup Classic. Royalty indeed. “When a Force awakens, the one hope will help return balance to the pitch.” Now I’m thinking this has to be about Rey in Star Wars: The Force Awakens in the “pitch” darkness of space, but it could just as well be the return of the force that is US Women’s soccer (and the force that was Carli Lloyd) helped by Hope Solo to return to its rightful place atop the soccer world. “In the world’s eyes, the small man looms larger than his size.” Tyler Ulis killer play last season and this one is an obvious choice. Putin putting Russia back in the spotlight is a close second, though. “A body once celebrated, then forgotten, will have new light shine upon it.” Hello again, Pluto! Once a real-deal planet then relegated to dwarf-planet status, our most famous kinda planet got the star treatment when the New Horizons probe got close enough to take some amazing, revelatory photos. Then again, this could be about Caitlin Jenner. “The voice of the Angel, hailing from the other side, called out a thousand times. It can say, at least, that it tried.” No idea about this one. “Voices true from the grasses blue will make them cry and sing.” Marlana Vanhoose is still crushin’ it on the national anthem circuit. We all, especially Drew, love our Kentucky native Marlana. But wait, couldn’t this also be about Harlan County’s own Jordan Smith, winner of The Voice? Thank you both for repping Kentucky so well this year. “High was the ride before the slide; the proof was in the pudding.” Volkswagen will incur enormous fines for installing software designed to game emissions tests, after independent tests found the company was fudging. Or this could be about champion asshole Bill Cosby. “After a great search, the most precious liquid is discovered in the unlikeliest of places.” Liquid water is discovered on Mars. And barrels of stolen Pappy Van Winkle are found behind a shed. “Dude, it was a MIDDLE FINGER!” Sorry Pitino. Even the Greeks know the bird when they see it. Pretty spot-on, those prophecies. What will 2016 bring? That is fodder for another post, my friends. Let’s hope that 2016 brings wonderful diversions, excellent food and drink and friends, fame and fortune for all associated with Funkhouser and KSR, and most importantly, #9.