Ahead of <i>Star Wars: The Force Awakens</i>, Here Is Some <i>Star Wars </i>Trivia You Should Know

To reduce holiday stress and stuff accumulation, my wife and I haven’t gotten each other Christmas gifts for 15 years. We haven’t even asked each other about trading gifts in that time. Not this year. I hinted in August that the only thing I have wanted for Christmas in my adult life is tickets to the new Star Wars movie. And by hinted, I mean that I stated explicitly, “the only thing I have wanted for Christmas in my adult life is tickets to the new Star Wars movie.” She’s not much of a fan, so only with the assurance that I would buy popcorn and Sprite at 9am did she agree to our morning show time. I realized that she and the non-fanatics out there may need something to pique interest in Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Point them to this post. After reading such interesting trivia, don’t be surprised if those same disinterested people are dressing up as BB-8 and camping outside your nearest Cineplex for the premiere of SW: TFA. Things You May Not Have Known About Star Wars --Star Wars was originally conceived as a comedy of errors musical, which is why it opens with musical credits. The first draft envisioned a father and son trying to rule the galaxy without driving each other crazy. Along the way they make mistakes of galactic proportions, like destroying the wrong planet (lol!) and kissing family members. --Peter Mayhew was not the original Chewbacca. After Mayhew turned out to be far less hirsute than his headshot implied, George Lucas recruited an actual Wookiee named Chet Baker, who was working on set as a makeup artist. Lucas had originally named the character Annie Hall, but Chet Baker’s mispronunciation of his own name as “Chewbacca” tickled Lucas and it stuck. --Mayhew had already signed a contract, however. Working on a shoestring budget, Lucas couldn’t afford to pay Mayhew for nothing, so he asked the 7’2” Mayhew to play lovable droid R2-D2. Mayhew lost 42 inches of height for the role, only to be replaced by classically-trained actor Kenny Baker. Fate would see Mayhew play Chewbacca when Chet Baker died tragically in a dumpster fire. --When the actor who played Yoda became violently ill during filming of The Empire Strikes Back, Peter Mayhew was tapped to fill in for the Jedi master for many of Luke’s Dagobah training scenes. In order to maintain the height differential on-screen, R2-D2 actor Kenny Baker gained 168 inches of height to play Luke Skywalker’s body double in those sequences. Mark Hamill would be added back to those scenes in 1997 after computers were invented. --Carrie Fisher’s mother is someone famous, but not like super-famous, you know what I mean? Like Samantha from Bewitched-level famous. Someone you would know from an old TV show and maybe later played a judge on Law & Order or [caption id="attachment_190244" align="alignleft" width="177"] Probably Carrie Fisher's mom[/caption] was in a Hallmark movie. Her dad was probably famous too, since famous people usually marry other famous people, like Nick Lachey and Vanessa…Vanessa Minnillo? Menudo? Vanilla? Ha, Vanessa Vanilla! That would be a hilarious name, wouldn’t it? Wait, did they ever get married, or just hook up? And wasn’t Lachey married to Jessica Simpson at some point and didn’t they have a reality show about it? And wasn’t Lachey involved in that weird Ohio vote on legalizing pot?   Anyway, Carrie Fisher later gave birth to Nicki Minaj, who is also famous.         --The European release of A New Hope featured a graphic droid-sex scene aboard the Jawa Sandcrawler. Lucas realized this would never fly in the American market, and so cut the scene for the US premiere. The footage would show up years later in Spielberg’s E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial. [caption id="attachment_190245" align="alignright" width="300"] Scene from "A New Hope" (European release). Filth.[/caption] --The design of Han Solo’s ship, the Millennium Falcon, was inspired by a hamburger with a bite taken out of it. --The design of Boba Fett’s ship, Slave I, was inspired by a Cuban sandwich (no pickle). --Jabba’s Barge was based on when Mick Jagger threw a party at Studio 54. The Barge was far less weird and had fewer people eaten. --Emperor Palpatine’s summer home, the Death Star, was modeled after a moldy cantaloupe. [caption id="attachment_190246" align="alignleft" width="209"] Your reactor core would explode out your exhaust port too if you ate this thing![/caption]                       --The name Darth Vader is meant to be a clue to his true identity. Darth is thought to be a variation of “Dark” or possibly “Dearth” (for lacking or missing) and “Vader” is Dutch for father because **SPOILER ALERT** Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker’s father! --Yoda Jones (“Yoda” in the Star Wars movies) and George Clooney are second cousins. --Before it was destroyed the first time, the Death Star had 500 Starbucks locations, including the highest-grossing Starbucks in the galaxy. --Harrison Ford was actually frozen in carbonite for years to prepare for his final scene in The Empire Strikes Back. He found it so soothing that he periodically refreezes himself when he remembers making Random Hearts. --Admiral Ackbar, the squid-looking dude, belongs to a species named Mon Calamari. No joke. --Of course it was a trap! The Galactic Empire isn’t that stupid! And yes, the Millennium Falcon was getting some kind of a reading on that shield, up or down, but Lando Calrissian was looking at the wrong stupid gauge. Han moved the readout a couple years before when he modded out the cockpit to add some trippy LEDs, but forgot to tell Lando. And the whole time Nien Nunb just sits there going blah blah blah. --Jar Jar Binks is actually the most beloved character in the six Star Wars movies*.**.*** --Ever since he was an annoying kid, Anakin Skywalker had an irrational fear of lightsaber fights on floating platforms above a [caption id="attachment_190247" align="alignright" width="300"] "No worries.  We see three or four of these a day.  You'll be more machine than man in just a few hours!"[/caption] planet made of fire. Well, I guess it wasn’t so irrational after all. Also, the head surgeon at Beth Israel Medical Center where Anakin was brought in after he lost his fight happened to specialize in rebuilding patients with just a head and torso into unstoppable killing machines. --Hayden Christensen, the “actor” who played Anakin Skywalker in Episodes II and III, was made entirely of cardboard. So now you know that there was a lot more going on in those six three movies than just pew-pew! and ho-pah breathing sounds. Have fun sitting in the middle of the front row if you didn’t get tickets in advance! *From survey of four first-graders as soon as they came out of The Phantom Menace. **UPDATE: Rebecca “Newt” Jorden from Aliens was the most beloved character in all the Star Wars movies. ***Nobody gives a shit about the Episodes I-III.