Alternate Titles For The Family

When you claim the title The Family, you are making a big claim. Every other family show that comes after it will just be the other family. You know the eyeroll you unleash when pro athletes refer to their alma mater as “THE Ohio State,” that’s how I feel about ABC’s show THE Family. On TV, there are many families to love. I’m unsure what makes the Warren family deserve their definite article. For example, in a normal conversation, if you were trying to think of the title of a popular TV show that had a family in it, THE Warrens would not be the first to come to mind. Shows like Modern Family or The Goldbergs would be a more obvious choices. (I could name other deserving families all day: Full House, Fuller House, The Middle, The Real O’Neals, Fresh Off The Boat, Blackish, Bloodline) THE Family is a compelling show with a terrible title. Here are a few suggestions for better titles. Alternate Title Suggestion #1: American Family Show The Warren family has been through it. After Adam’s disappearance, the family has struggled with addiction, infidelities and a systematic struggle with communication among the family members. They are a mess. But, their troubles aren’t unsolvable in thirteen episodes. Similar to the American Horror Story model, this suggestion allows for variation season to season. If you limit the amount of episodes for each family, you can reload each season with a new family and a new conflict. Alternate Title Suggestion #2: Finding Adam If The Family wants to sustain the show over multiple seasons, they are going to need a driving force. The audience wanting to know what happened to Adam is what drives season 1. They want to know if the Adam that has returned ten years later is the same as the one who was kidnapped so long ago. There are many conspiracy theories, but they all lead back to finding Adam. Hank Asher, the neighbor, was wrongfully convicted for Adam’s murder. Nina, the cop, is also tangled in Adam’s case. His case is the one that will haunt her forever. The whole cast feels the black hole created by Adam’s absence. Finding Adam puts the focus where tension lies. Alternate Title Suggestion #3: The setting of The Family is important. Their family home is where most of the scenes take place. Their adult son and adult daughter still live at home. It seems like Willa is running her mother’s gubernatorial campaign from their home.  Also, Adam uses every bit of their home as clues to who he is. Labeling this show whatever their physical address is gives us more information than a generic family label. Alternate Title Suggestion #4: The Joan Allen Show Joan Allen has many greatest hits. From her colorful lipstick application in Pleasantville to her evil, frosty glare in The Notebook, Allen slays. In The Family, she uses many of her former characters as inspiration for Claire Warren. There is even a little The Bourne Ultimatum in Claire’s gubernatorial aspirations.   Allen finds a way to make this unlikable character unlikable in a tolerable way. I will keep coming back to The Family, even though the title is about as bland as mayonnaise on toast, for Joan and the hope that we find out Adam's true identity.