First Down Kentucky: Murphy's Law is Undefeated
Some days just aren’t your day. I’m not sure where Murphy’s Law gets its namesake, but I’d sure like to give him a piece of my mind right now. That’s what’s sometimes difficult in this line of work. I am supposed to write about Kentucky football, but all I can think about is how rude the insurance claims agent was to me today after sitting at the DMV for 2.5 hours.
Should any person ever spend 2.5 hours at the DMV just to pay their taxes? Of course not. One should be able to pay their taxes online, but it’s not the shorthanded clerks’ fault the state did a horrific job updating its system at the start of 2024, making a painful task exponentially more painful.
Should I let the insurance woman get under my skin? Not at all, especially when I could’ve dealt with this issue a few weeks ago and put it in my rearview mirror.
That’s the hard part about adulting. My head is able to rationalize why this Tuesday in May unfolded in such frustrating fashion, but my heart just wants to scream, “WHY ISN’T THIS ANY EASIER?!?!?!” After all, the adult issue I can’t seem to solve started in freaking November. There’s no reason I should be dealing with this in May.
Well, there is one reason. When you kick the can down the road, eventually you’ll catch up to it. That day is today, the day Murphy’s Law got in the way.
A Problem with Kentucky we rarely mention
Speaking of Murphy’s Law, how about those turnovers? No, seriously. Kentucky has a turnover problem.
There’s a line of thought that turnovers in football are random. It makes sense, particularly when you think about fumbles. That’s why every year Phil Steele lists out all of the teams who turned the ball over at a high rate, then surmises it will dramatically turn around in the upcoming season. It’s playing a law of averages.
Here’s the thing: Kentucky is kind of beating the law of averages. Last year the Wildcats tied with Auburn for the most turnovers in the SEC, but we didn’t pay too much attention to it because the Kentucky defense scored more touchdowns than any other defense in the country. Even when the defense is making impact plays, they aren’t making enough to overcome the offense’s mistakes. During Stoops’ postseason streak, the Wildcats have ranked last in the SEC in turnovers lost twice, the same number of seasons they finished with a positive turnover margin.
| Year | Turnovers Lost | Turnovers Gained | Margin |
| 2023 | 20 | 18 | -2 |
| 2022 | 19 | 16 | -3 |
| 2021 | 23 | 12 | -11 |
| 2019 | 20 | 19 | -1 |
| 2018 | 18 | 20 | 2 |
| 2017 | 15 | 18 | 3 |
| 2016 | 28 | 21 | -7 |
If they say, “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong,” they must also say, “Ball security is job security.” Kentucky needs more job security this fall.
Speaking of Fiery Rage
The Krispy Kreme on Bardstown Road was ablaze Tuesday afternoon. An arson investigation is underway. I will not make a joke about the “Hot Now” light because I’m so sad to see so much good glaze go to waste.
This is a Dumb Question
Dumb is probably too mean. I need to cool off. If this was a rhetorical question, then it was an excellent one. After all, Barion Brown returned one kickoff for a touchdown while running 22.6 MPH, the fastest among all returning college football players. He also was clocked at 22.3, 22.0, and 21.8 MPH in the open field. Yeah, it’s safe to say the fastest man in college football is a Kentucky Wildcat.
Another Kentucky Official Visit Scheduled
Kentucky will host dozens of prospects for official visits in June. Add one more to the guest list, courtesy of Eric Wolford. Taren Hedrick, a three-star offensive tackle from Naples, FL, tells On3’s Corey Bender he will officially visit Kentucky June 28-30. It will wrap up a busy month for Hedrick, who’s visiting some of the biggest names in the sport. It starts with a trip to Ole Miss, followed by Florida, Texas A&M, then Purdue before he lands in Lexington.
Settlement Terms
Even though the non-Power Four conferences do not agree, the big wigs in the sport are moving forward. Big 12 chancellors and presidents unanimously approved the settlement terms in the pending House litigation. Ross Dellenger reports the others will soon follow, paving the way for a widespread reformation of college athletics.
We are Old
Auburn offered a scholarship to 2028 RB Chris Davis III. Even though the kid is just entering his freshman year of high school, it’s still noteworthy for one enormous reason. If that name rings a bell, it’s because he’s the many behind arguably the most famous play in college football history. Yes, Chris Davis is old enough to have a kid that’s being recruited by colleges.
It feels like this just happened yesterday. Verne Lundquist was great in this moment, but I prefer “AUBURN’S GONNA WIN THE FOOTBALL GAME!” from the late, great Rod Bramblett.
Whatever the opposite of Murphy’s Law is, that is exactly what took over the Auburn football program in 2013. The Kick Six got them into the SEC Championship Game one week after the Prayer at Jordan-Hare. Unbelievable.
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