When it comes to The Bachelor I’m here for three things. The cat fighting, the tears, and the delusion. While you can argue that those three things are one in the same, you probably shouldn’t. If you are here for an in depth review of what girl he should pick, go somewhere else. You won’t enjoy this. I have no interest in the final outcome of the show. The future happiness or despair of the contestants on this show is of no concern to me. He will pick someone, they will be apart “trying to make it work” while the show airs. They will appear happy at the reunion show, then you’ll see something like this or this a week or a month later. The format of this column, as always, will be a running diary of my thoughts throughout the show. There a lot of places to go for Bachelor commentary so let me thank you for choosing a sports website. Let’s get involved, what do you say?
Preview
Episode 1
Episode 2
8:00- Jimmy Kimmel is the guest host tonight. When he walked in the room they all cheered. I have a feeling half of them didn't really know who he was.
8:05- Jimmy brings in a big jar and calls it the "amazing" jar. When anyone says "amazing" they have to put a dollar in the jar. This is a great idea and there will be millions of dollars in that jar very soon. The amazing jar may solve the national debt.
8:20- They drew attention to Chris' laugh and now I'm not sure when I'll sleep again.
8:27- After Chris stumbled through asking Kaitlyn if she would accept the rose, Jimmy said "Are there people on the farm or just animals?" Kimmel is killing it.
8:38- They are still doing the black box over Jillian's butt. That may turn out to be the biggest mystery of the season.
8:40- If I ever have to drink warm goat milk to win a competition then I'm going to lost that particular competition. I'm simply not going to do it.
8:47- Carly just said "I am a woman and you are a man and I just want to take advantage" as a pick up line before she leaned in and kissed him. To sum up her game, she says a couple facts out loud and then goes in for the kill.
One of my twitter followers sums up Carly like this:
8:54- Ashley S. hasn't done anything ridiculous tonight and I'm not extremely happy about that. However, she did make this face when Becca got the group date rose.
9:00- Whitney gets a one on one date...WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!!
9:02- Whitney is owning this one on one date. She just said "YOLO" on national television even though no one says YOLO anymore and then suggested they crash a wedding, which they are going to do. Whitney is the Kentucky basketball of this season of the Bachelor. All the other girls are UCLA. She can do no wrong.
9:03- Chris is worried that wedding goers will recognize him from being on the Bachelor.
Reminds me of this scene.
9:05- If this couple didn't know at the time that their wedding got crashed, I guess they do now.
9:07- If you were to crash a wedding,
I would imagine you would try to attract the least amount of attention to yourself as possible. That is not what Whitney does. Whitney draws a lot of attention to herself
by attempting to catch the bouquet. Watch this...
You have to respect the effort.
9:11- The obligatory outdoor shower scene included Jimmy Kimmel and it was hilarious.
9:20- POOL PARTY!
9:21- The pool party means one thing. Yep, it means we're getting more blurred out shots of Jillian's behind.
9:27- And we're also getting the sad suicide story about Juelia's husband, apparently. Matt, what do you think?
9:41- As Ashley I. complains and cries about not getting enough time with Chris, I can only think of one thing.
9:46- This tweet made me laugh.
So did this one:
LOL at "brain thong." Strong work, Vernon.
9:47- Girls that spend their time with Chris complaining about not getting their time with Chris are not making the most of their time with Chris.
9:52- "Chris, whatever you do, don't be yourself. Be someone who gives better speeches."- Jimmy's advice to Chris before he went to the rose ceremony.
ROSE CEREMONY
Jade gets a rose. The only thing she did this episode was run and jump on Chris' bed.
Juelia, who you shouldn't invite to your pool party, gets a rose.
Samantha, whom I've yet to see speak in 3 weeks, gets a rose.
Mackenzie, who can't believe Chris is kissing other women, gets a rose.
Kelsey, who still fears getting diarrhea on first dates, gets a rose.
Britt, who employed the Juan Pablo strategy of kissing when you have nothing to say, gets a rose.
Megan gets a rose. Nashville stays alive.
Carly, who shucked corn, found an egg and cracked it, milked a goat and drank it, and then caught a greasy pig before anyone else could do all of those things got a rose.
Ashley S., whose only contribution to the show was the shade she threw at not getting the group date rose gets a rose! Let's revisit that shade one more time.
Nikki, who we know nothing about, gets a rose.
Jillian, the human butt blur, gets a rose.
Ashley I., who wants to be a Kardashian, gets a rose.
Amber and two other girls whose names I don't even know got sent home. I felt like this episode was a little lackluster, but after an all time crazy episode last week it was going to be a tough act to follow. I'm Flener, and I'll be back again next week with more ridiculous thoughts and observations about a show where 30 girls go on national television to date the same guy and try to get him to marry them.
@AFlenerKSR
When it comes to The Bachelor I’m here for three things. The cat fighting, the tears, and the delusion. While you can argue that those three things are one in the same, you probably shouldn’t. If you are here for an in depth review of what girl he should pick, go somewhere else. You won’t enjoy this. I have no interest in the final outcome of the show. The future happiness or despair of the contestants on this show is of no concern to me. He will pick someone, they will be apart “trying to make it work” while the show airs. They will appear happy at the reunion show, then you’ll see something like this or this a week or a month later. The format of this column, as always, will be a running diary of my thoughts throughout the show. There a lot of places to go for Bachelor commentary so let me thank you for choosing a sports website. Let’s get involved, what do you say?
Preview
Episode 1
Episode 2
8:00- Jimmy Kimmel is the guest host tonight. When he walked in the room they all cheered. I have a feeling half of them didn't really know who he was.
8:05- Jimmy brings in a big jar and calls it the "amazing" jar. When anyone says "amazing" they have to put a dollar in the jar. This is a great idea and there will be millions of dollars in that jar very soon. The amazing jar may solve the national debt.
8:20- They drew attention to Chris' laugh and now I'm not sure when I'll sleep again.
8:27- After Chris stumbled through asking Kaitlyn if she would accept the rose, Jimmy said "Are there people on the farm or just animals?" Kimmel is killing it.
8:38- They are still doing the black box over Jillian's butt. That may turn out to be the biggest mystery of the season.
8:40- If I ever have to drink warm goat milk to win a competition then I'm going to lost that particular competition. I'm simply not going to do it.
8:47- Carly just said "I am a woman and you are a man and I just want to take advantage" as a pick up line before she leaned in and kissed him. To sum up her game, she says a couple facts out loud and then goes in for the kill.
One of my twitter followers sums up Carly like this:
9:00- Whitney gets a one on one date...WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!! WHITNEY!!
9:02- Whitney is owning this one on one date. She just said "YOLO" on national television even though no one says YOLO anymore and then suggested they crash a wedding, which they are going to do. Whitney is the Kentucky basketball of this season of the Bachelor. All the other girls are UCLA. She can do no wrong.
9:03- Chris is worried that wedding goers will recognize him from being on the Bachelor. Reminds me of this scene.
9:05- If this couple didn't know at the time that their wedding got crashed, I guess they do now.
9:07- If you were to crash a wedding, I would imagine you would try to attract the least amount of attention to yourself as possible. That is not what Whitney does. Whitney draws a lot of attention to herself by attempting to catch the bouquet. Watch this...
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