Fox (and Friends) on Rock (and Roll)

Fox News commentator Katherine Tempf caused sad white weirdos everywhere to stub out their morning’s fifth cigarette in exasperation when word got out that, on something called The Greg Gutfeld Show, she had claimed that Radiohead would get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame even though their music was “elaborate moaning and whining for ring tone sounds.”

Here's the clip: [embed]https://youtu.be/Uk0dcjv1NDs[/embed]

Radiohead fans (after nearly splitting themselves in two trying to decide whether or not this outrage warranted a public display of emotion of the sort normally reserved only for apathy and/or despair) responded with predictable eye rolls, which is probably the right thing to do, considering some of Fox News commentators’ other recent takes on even more well-established Rock Hall members.

Sean Hannity on The Beatles

“Listen, like everybody else, I got pretty, um, excited, if you know what I mean, every time I heard anyone so much as hum “Happiness is a Warm Gun,” but then it was revealed to me by a very reliable source that John Lennon was engaging in some very typical smug liberal ‘irony’ and was in fact not actually aroused by the mere mention of firearms. I’m sure Stephen Colbert is a huge fan, but you can count me out.”

 

Ann Coulter on The Rolling Stones

“As much as I like that they stole the blueprint for most of their music from black musicians who never saw a fraction of the money they deserved given the enormous influence they had on Rock and Roll from its inception up to the present day, I can’t help but feeling like most of their fame is down to the tremendous favor Adam Levine did them a few years ago when he also ignored more deserving black performers when he mentioned Mick Jagger in a song about dancing.”

 

Geraldo Rivera on Aretha Franklin

“Her most well known song is what? “R-E-S-P-E-C-T,” right? Well, not only is that not even her song, but she totally turned the meaning of the original around to serve an obviously hyper-feminist agenda. Real women earn the respect of men in their lives through their compassion, loyalty, and abject sexual depravity.”

   

Tucker Carlson on James Brown

“What a phony! All that business of collapsing from exhaustion – reminds me of Hillary on the campaign trail – only to pop up and keep right on singing. It’s dishonest, is what it is. And what kind of Black Lives Matter, antifa nonsense is “Say it Loud — I’m Black and I’m Proud?” That propaganda-spewing children’s choir? They’re not even black kids. Just more paid protesters (where was George Soros in 1968?) in the left’s never-ending abuse of the race card."

 

Vice President Mike Pence on Queen

“Let me tell you a little story. Two good friends of mine got married recently. Lovely ceremony. And then, at the reception, the bride and groom walked in as the DJ played “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen. I don’t mind telling you that Karen and I walked right out the door. We simply couldn’t support two people who disrespected our marriage by playing the music of a known homosexual as part of their festivities. As the reporters who we’d explicitly told to wait outside the venue for our exit will confirm, we were just surprised and dismayed by the whole thing.”

 

Newt Gingrich on Bruce Springsteen

“I don’t think the American people realize just how fraudulent Bruce Springsteen’s entire persona really is. He says he’s a friend of the working man, yet he calls himself “The Boss.” His album The Ghost of Tom Joad is basically The Communist Manifesto soundtracked by harmonicas and acoustic guitars. “Born in the U.S.A.” was one of my favorite songs until I actually listened to it and realized that Springsteen was actually criticizing some aspects of American foreign policy. Typical liberal that he is, he hid his message in the words of the song instead of putting it right in the title like Donald Trump would.”

  I'm glad Fox News is here to give us the fair and balanced takes on important issues like who deserves to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. And since musical taste is entirely subjective, they don't even have to worry about pesky details like "facts" getting in the way of their opinions. Not like that's ever stopped them, but still.