Funkhouser Predicts - Wrestlemania 32 & NXT Takeover: Dallas

It's the Grandest Stage of Them All.  The Showcase of the Immortals.  As JBL would say, "The Last Chance To Dance With The Lights on Bright".  As I would say, "The Show that will pale in comparison to NXT Takeover: Dallas on Friday Night".  Wrestlemania 32 is fast approaching this Sunday evening, and is the culmination of a year's worth of storylines for the WWE.  Nearly eight months ago, WWE & NXT pulled the double weekend with NXT Takeover: Brooklyn/Summerslam, which produced one of the top 2-3 wrestling matches in 2015, Sasha Banks vs Bayley.  Now they will bring their squared circles to Dallas in AT&T Stadium for Wrestlemania 32. As far as Funkhouser's Wrestlemania coverage goes, I will be live tweeting both NXT Takeover: Dallas -AND- Wrestlemania 32 from the @KSRWrassleTalk account on both Friday @10PM and Sunday @7PM. Please give us a follow over there and let's chat throughout both events. So as we have been prone to do here at Funkhouser, we will predict the outcomes of the matches happening over the three day wrestling weekend.  However, only two people were brave enough to put their names on the high-stakes world of pro-wrestling pontification.  One has been watching wrestling consistently for the last 20 years.  The other has recently picked up wrestling again in the last year after an 11 year hiatus.  Who will make more correct guesses on a scripted sporting event?  Only time will tell.  (Josh isn't as familiar with NXT, so he just put his winners for those matches) Note: This post was written early on Monday.  We will update it with a prediction for AJ Styles/Jericho shortly.

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"The Drifter" Elias Sampson vs Apollo Crews

Richmond: This match hasn't been officially been announced yet (so no official match image), but it's looking that it will happen on Wednesday's NXT show.  Hopefully Crews wins.  I don't care for Sampson or his character, but he is a pretty decent wrestler and has an amazing elbow drop like The Macho Man Randy Savage (who he somewhat resembles).  However, I think he'll either make some major character development to win, or the more likely idea of losing to Apollo Crews.  So I choose Crews. Josh: Apollo Crews

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Austin Aries -vs- Baron Corbin

Richmond: This time last year, I was very down on Baron Corbin.  I didn't really think that he was fitting in with the program, as his matches were only lasting 30 seconds.  He has really turned things around in the last eight months, having pretty good matches with Samoa Joe and Sami Zayn, and a really good semifinal match in the Dusty Rhodes Classic against American Alpha.  I used to be a fan of Austin Aries, but I haven't been excited for his debut in NXT against Corbin.  Corbin hates guys that come from the "Indies", and attacked Aries in his debut announcement.  I see Aries winning, but I feel like it might be a step back for Corbin. Josh: Austin Aries

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Sami Zayn -vs- "King of Strong Style" Shinsuke Nakamura

Richmond: Of any match of the entire weekend, this is the one that I am most excited for.  Shinsuke Nakamura is such a unique individual in the professional wrestling world.  I urge you to go watch some of his flashy entrances, where the wrestler claims he is inspired by Michael Jackson and Freddie Mercury.  I have to think that with Sami Zayn moving up to the main roster, and participating in the Intercontinental Championship ladder match on Sunday, that "The King of Strong Style" Shinsuke Nakamura will take this one. Josh: Shinsuke Nakamura

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NXT Tag Team Championship Match The Revival (Dash & Dawson) -vs- American Alpha (Jordan & Gable)

Richmond: Did I say the last match was the one I'm most excited for?  I meant this one (too).  American Alpha is one of the most fun tag teams when it comes to wrestling style.  They may not have the overall charisma of Enzo and Cass, but they're the real deal.  The Revival is like The Brainbusters of Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard, in that they're just overly old school, wearing their satin jackets and working a really good double-team.  The Revival has been awesome, and a much better "random-white guy" combo than whatever Blake and Murphy were.  However, NXT would be dropping the ball by not giving the titles to American Alpha.  They made Enzo and Cass chase and unsuccessfully get the titles, and now what do you do with them.  AA is so hot right now, it would be the biggest pop of the night if they won, so I'm going with American Alpha. Josh: The Revival

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NXT Women's Championship Match Bayley -vs- Asuka

Richmond: I don't know how I feel about this match.  Asuka is kind of an unstoppable force, while Bayley is the ultimate underdog.  However, one of these matches that Bayley is in, she is going to have to lose, I just don't think it's this one.  It comes more out of a "where would we go from here?" type perspective.  If Bayley loses, does she debut on the "Raw after Wrestlemania" which is the biggest Raw of the year?  If Asuka wins, who does she take on next?  She's already run through Emma and Dana Brooke multiple times, and I can't imagine Asuka vs Nia Jax is a match that many people want to see.  And we definitely don't want to see Eva Marie in anything.  But if Bayley wins, she has defeated every major woman on the roster.  This is a tough one, but I'll still go with Bayley Josh: Bayley

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NXT Championship Match Finn Bálor -vs- Samoa Joe

Richmond:  I'm not even sure where to go with this one.  I have a feeling that one of these two are going to get called up to the main roster.  There would be some great matches with Samoa Joe with some of the main roster, including John Cena, Cesaro, (It's hard to do this because everyone is injured).  But you could also see Finn getting called up when other members of the Bullet Club get to the WWE, in Doc Gallows and Karl "Machine Gun" Anderson.  I'm not overly excited for the match, as I don't like Joe as much as I used to.  However, I think Finn keeps it, because there will have to be an inevitable Finn/Nakamura match before he comes up. Josh: The one match I’m familiar with enough to make an informed prediction. Joe has been in the championship discussion for the better part of his time at NXT. This weekend he defeats Balor for the belt. Prediction: Samoa Joe

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Wrestlemania Pre-Show The Usos vs The Dudley Boys

Richmond: I'll be less verbose during most of these Wrestlemania predictions, as I have far less interest in most of them.  I guess The Usos win this one, since the Dudleys lose to everyone now-a-days.  Plus it's the pre-show, and pretty much nothing of importance happens during the pre-show. Josh: It’s a classic “I don’t know who these guys are” vs. “didn’t those guys retire ten years ago” match. Wrestlemania has at least one of these every year it seems, and the older I get the more these matches seem to be a stretch. I know the Dudleyz angle is to prove they’re capable of competing in today’s WWE, but when you take away the tables they are a bit boring. This is one of the pre-show matches so nobody will care too much about this match so I’ll take a shot in the dark and say the Usos win, but someone will go through a table. Prediction: Dudleyz

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Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal

Richmond: Cesaro won the first one.  Big Show won the second.  Neither will win this one.  I'm looking at either Kane or Mark Henry to win this one. It would be great if somehow Titus O'Neil made a surprise appearance after his major suspension for touching Vinnie Mac.  Other great option would be Heath Slater, would love to see him get a nice post-Wrestlemania push with a Owen Hart Slammy style storyline.  Just found out that this is also on the pre-show... so it's definitely Kane. Josh: I don’t have any dogs in this fight, but when it comes down to it I feel it should be Kane or Big Show. Since Big Show won last year I’m going to give the edge to Kane.  Prediction: Kane

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Three on Four Handicap Match The New Day vs. The League of Nations

Richmond: So, this isn't for the title, which means that the New Day could lose to a stable of former World, Intercontinental and US Champions.  However, I think The New Day is so hot right now that the crowd is going to go crazy for them when they enter AT&T Stadium.  The New Day is possibly the greatest main roster thing right now, because they know how to book their personalities and traits.  New Day for the win. Josh: When in doubt I side with Woodrow Wilson’s greatest failure, especially if it’s paired with an Irishman. Prediction: League of Nations

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Divas Championship Match Sasha Banks vs Charlotte (c) vs Becky Lynch

Richmond: This will be the greatest women's match at Wrestlemania in years - IF - they are allowed to wrestle the match in NXT speed.  There is a noticeable difference sometimes between how rushed women's matches are on the main roster, mainly because the people in those matches aren't great wrestlers.  But now you have three of the best women to come through the main roster in YEARS and they should be given 25 minutes.  I'd be happy with any of the three winning, but I would like to see Sasha Banks walk away with this one. Josh: Since I first got back into wrestling a little less than a year ago I’ve been pretty impressed with how much better the Diva wrestling has been. Banks has seemed like a star since her promotion to the main roster and while Charlotte has had a great run picking up her father’s mantle, I think it’s time the title went to the real superstar of the group. Besides, Ric Flair apparently thinks his daughter should date Kevin Love, no seriously, so she’ll need some free time to coincide with Cleveland’s early playoff departure to grow this relationship. Prediction: Banks

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United States Championship Match Kalisto (c) vs Ryback

Richmond: I was excited for Kalisto to get the United States title.  It has given him an opportunity to showcase his great lucha talent, while also not having to be paired up with the extremely cursed Sin Cara character.  However, the person that I wish he wasn't facing is Ryback.  I'm less than excited for this match and wish that Cesaro was healthy enough to be in this match instead.  However, with a lot of people injured, I could see Ryback winning this match and making him a player over the next couple of months.  So, sigh, Ryback... Josh:  Not really too much to talk about here, I’m just going to go with the challenger. Prediction: Ryback

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Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match Zach Ryder vs Stardust vs Dolph Ziggler vs Kevin Owens (c) vs Sami Zayn vs Sin Cara vs The Miz

Richmond: A) Zach Ryder got really lucky that Neville got injured.  B) Why isn't this just Sami Zayn vs Kevin Owens.  The feud that is destined to go on forever is the one between Owens and Zayn.  I've watched them face off in Ladder Warfare in Ring of Honor and it is a pretty brutal sight, and would make for one hell of a Wrestlemania moment.  That being said, we have to get some other people a Wrestlemania match, including Dolph Ziggler, who fought HHH for the chance for a Wrestlemania match two weeks ago, lost, but was still awarded a match the very next week for nothing.  I think we see Zayn win the title in this match, then have a straight up 1-on-1 feud with Owens over the next couple of months.  I also think this will be the first match of the night, similarly to last year when Bryan won, setting the tone for the night. Josh: For my money this is the match I’m most looking forward to. A seven man ladder match with some of the best personalities currently on the WWE roster? Yes, please. I’ve taken a liking to Kevin Owens so I will be rooting for him to win. I don’t have the slightest notion of who will walk away with the belt as these matches tend to get chaotic so I’m going to pick with my heart. Prediction: Kevin Owens.

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No Holds Barred Street Fight Dean Ambrose vs Brock Lesnar

Richmond:  This match is going to tear the house down, and I mean that both figuratively and literally.  There is a chance that they rip every seat out of AT&T Arena and beat the hell out of one another.  We know that Mick Foley has given Ambrose his barbed-wire baseball bat "Barbie" which we are to assume will make an appearance.  We also know that Terry Funk gave Ambrose his chainsaw, which will have to make an appearance as well?  I'm not really sure how that will work though, so it will be interesting to see.  This is just going to be a fun one, nothing really at stake, just a ridiculous match.  Ambrose will put up a great showing, but Lesnar will F-5 Ambrose through a flaming table of Legos for the win. Josh: The street fight dynamic obviously helps Ambrose in this match especially after receiving gifts of blessing from Mick Foley and Terry Funk. On the other hand, Lesnar is a human wrecking ball and also knows how to use the environment to his advantage. I will predict Lesnar to win, but my true prediction is that this match will last about ten minutes too long to the point that everybody will just be ready for it to end after every hardcore street fight trope is played out. Prediction: Lesnar

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Hell in a Cell (If Shane Wins, He gets control of Raw and Undertaker never wrestles at Wrestlemania Again) Shane McMahon vs The Undertaker

Richmond:  Eesh, I don't know where to start with this one.  It has been awesome that Shane has returned to the WWE to face off against the Undertaker.  However, I worry where this is going to go.  I feel like Shane will somehow gain control of Monday Night Raw by the end of Wrestlemania, but I can't see this being The Undertaker's last Wrestlemania with a loss.  This match will see Shane make some ridiculous leap of faith to hit the Undertaker, or maybe going coast-to-coast.  For the storyline purposes, I'll pick Shane, as I'd like to see where this goes. Shane: The Undertaker will surely win this match? Shane O-Mac comes out of the woodwork and lands this match with the Dead Man is surely setting up one last dominating Wrestlemania victory, right? Well let’s look at the stakes: McMahon wins and he gets control of Raw and Undertaker can no longer compete at Wrestlemania. There’s no way Undertaker would lose this match and it be his last match at the event he dominated for so long in his career. That’s the conventional thinking, but in reality I think Shane might be the play here. If Shane is going to be further involved in the family business then this is his “in” and Shane has goaded the Undertaker about being a puppet for Vince. In terms of legacy I’ve moved on from Undertaker’s potential last match needing to have any real significance. I was a Hulk Hogan fan for 20+ years and you know somethin’ “Mean” Richmond, I have no idea what his last match was. I’m going to take Shane here, with Undertaker retribution to be had further down the road. Prediction: Shane

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WWE World Heavyweight Championship Match Triple H (c) vs Roman Reigns

Richmond: I wish this match didn't have to be last, as I'd rather see any of the other top three matches than this one.  It's been an ongoing struggle with the internet wrestling community to latch on to Roman Reigns and actually accept him as a top guy.  He got a World Championship Match win in December, but lost it at the Royal Rumble. He was in the good graces of the fans when he won the title by going up against Mr. McMahon, but after that it waned.  However, Roman Reigns has to win this match at Wrestlemania.  Give him a few months with the title and see if he catches on, if not, we can give it to someone else at Summerslam or Extreme Rules, who knows. Josh:  This match has a big spotlight in terms of names. The two wrestlers are a big enough draw themselves, but throw in Shawn Michaels as the guest referee and The Rock set up to make a special appearance and you’ve got quite the recipe. The smart money seems to make Reigns the play here. WWE has been hyping him up for a while to be “the guy” but the fans just haven’t welcomed him into their loving embrace. Theories abound in this match: is the Rock there to have some goodwill rub off on Reigns (hasn’t worked yet) or will the Rock assist HHH thus setting up a match against Reigns later on? Will HBK help HHH leading to further involvement in WWE or will he call a straight match and just be a one-time return? There’s a lot of intrigue and I think most of it bodes well for HHH to win this match, so he’s my pick to retain the belt. Prediction: HHH

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Again, be sure to hang out with us @KSRWrassleTalk on Friday at 10 for NXT and Sunday at 7 for Wrestlemania.  Let Wrestlemania Week Begin!