Funkhouser's Low Down on the Fun Fun Fun Festival: A Refined Taste

Check out part one of our Fun Fun Fun coverage, The Introduction. Check out part two of our Fun Fun Fun coverage, The Snoop Troupe. Check out part three of our Fun Fun Fun coverage, Who Laughs for the Hipsters?

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Hey Guys! I hope you guys out there are keeping warm on this chilly, but not yet cold, Wednesday!   I have to be honest with you, between this cold that has had me down, and washing some mad buckets during my day job I'm pretty tired this week.  So I thought I would take a break from writing today's post and let my friend... well this guy I know, tell you about his favorite part of the festival.  I'll be back tomorrow in our final installment to tell you all about the more edible aspects of the fest but, until then, take it away Henry... Actually, Kalan, it's Heinrich.  My parents might have named me Henry but if they'd had the taste and sense of historical significance that I do, they'd obviously have made it Heinrich.  Also?  The name of this article sucks.  You really didn't think of Fun Fun Funkhouser?  What kind of moron are you?  I'll bet you don't even have any hats other than baseball caps.  Ugh. I'm really sorry you've been saddled with that guy, readers.  But finally you have someone here to tell you about what you really want to know about.  A band no one has ever heard of.  You want to impress your friends with your exclusive music knowledge?  You want to make sure that you're the only person in your group of acquaintances who likes a particular band?  I thought so.  Well you came to the right place. There were a lot of sell outs at Fun Fun Fun this year.  Pretty much anything on stage after 4 o'clock was a no go.  Finding the bands that haven't sold out is like rooting through the forest for truffles.  You have to get your snout deep into the ground to find the sh*t. Well on the Saturday of F³, my well trained schnozz finally found a real stinker.  And I mean that in a good way!  When you finally find that band that lacks all melody and harmony, sings and speaks only in Japanese, and uses only a PS Vita and a guitar as instruments, you know you're in love.  And I found Melt-Banana. Much like a good wine, listening to Melt Banana is about the notes that you catch.  Semblances of a 'G' float across the air just for a moment!  Let it sit on your ears for another 20 minutes and the faint hint of an 'Am' will appear.  I'm pretty sure that I was the only member of the audience to catch that 'E flat augmented 7 add 9 add 13' there at the end of the show.  At least, no one else I've polled on my Melt Banana fansite seems to have heard it so far (o votes, c'mon people!).  Just listen to them tune! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHL-LePI_9E Isn't it wonderful?  The way they interact, or whatever, and the timbre?  That's a musical term right?  Melt Banana was founded in Tokyo in 1991 and consists of Yasuko Onuki (the singer) and Ichirou Agata (Guitar).  They are described as "noise rock band that is known for playing extremely fast grindcore and noise music mixed with experimental, electronica and pop-based song structures."  They've been around for 22 years and no one you know has ever heard of them?  That's how you know they're good. They sing in Japanese, so it's like a peaceful zen garden of sound spread before you.  Oh, it's English?  Are you sure?  Really?  Ummm well, it's still like a Koi Pond, I guess, except with the goldfish you had as a kid or something.  Each drop of 25¢ piece of fish food dropping onto the still, watery surface of your ear canal producing a delicate and beautiful bouquet of music.  Let me show you... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjILaaIt_m4 Ah, it reminds me of a quote (that I'll amend) from my favorite movie! "On the page it looked nothing. The beginning simple, almost comic. Just a pulse - [PS Vita] and [Electric Guitar]- like a rusty squeezebox. Then suddenly - high above it - a [voice], a single note, hanging there unwavering, ... ... sweeten[ing] it into a phrase of such delight! This was no composition by a performing monkey! This was a music I'd never heard. Filled with such longing, such unfulfillable longing, it had me trembling. It seemed to me that I was hearing the very voice of God." And one of the best things?  Their website.  Do you know any other band still rocking geocities?  Certainly not your old favorite band. I hope that you've enjoyed this peek behind the curtain, my new friends.  I hope you'll enjoy having a band that no one else knows anything about to call your own.  And I'm so sorry I'm going to have to give them up now that you guys are fans.  Posers.  What a bunch of sell outs. Wow.  Thanks Henry.  That was.... enlightening. I absolutely hate to say this, but he is right about one thing.  Why the heck didn't I call this Fun Fun Funkhouser?  I hate it when hipsters are right. @KalanKucera