<strong>Know Thine Enemy:</strong> Miami University of Ohio

Miami University of Ohio, known less for its origins of the Miami Indian tribe which inhabited the region and more for fluke superstar Ben Roethlisberger, faces the University of Kentucky this evening in what shouldn’t be a matchup of epic proportions.

Though truly the Redhawks stunned the world with a 53-point victory over perennial juggernaut Wilberforce in a recent exhibition game, they dropped their season opener to Wright State by just one point. To be fair, however, Wright State was using airplanes, which may be illegal in NCAA play. We’ll be honest and say that the ‘Hawks’ upcoming schedule is a plucky one, featuring matchups against Illinois, Xavier, Michigan, UC, and flavor-of-the-week Rutgers, whereupon this team can anticipate former UK Center and alien Shagari Alleyne to clumsily and repeatedly fall into them.

Eleven-year Head Coach and heralded Abe Vigoda lookalike Charlie Coles, outside of having a grandson named Jazz, which is an awesome name, is entering into his eleventh year as the Lead Redhawk. A former guard at the school who returned as an assistant coach to Herb Sendek (pre-NC State), Coles is described by the MU Media Guide as “The Bill Cosby of Basketball,” whatever that means.

Sophomore guard Michael Bramos (a former runner-up for Mr. Basketball of Michigan) and senior forward Nathan Peavy(whose father Terry was drafted by the Cavaliers in 1979) have jumped out to lead the team early, so those are the guys to watch out for tonight. Also, look for guard Josh Hausfield to be heaving up 3-pointers quite a bit, as his record of 121 of 329 attempts in his first three years as a Redhawk recently earned him a spot on Miami’s top ten list for his many, many attempts.

All in all, the evening should be at the very least a more decent matchup than Lindsay Wilson or USC Upstate, if the Bill Cosby of Basketball can keep his sideline mugging to a minimum. This team looks to matchup nicely with the freshmen, so I’d expect to see a lot of them tonight. Unless we’re catatonic, this game should be more fun than a German forklift training video.

Chances of scoring a gallon of windshield wiper fluid tonight: High

That is all.