KSR Bachelor Running Diary: Andi's Overnightmare

  If you missed any of the previous KSR Bachelor Running Diaries, chances are it was on purpose. However, if you are interested in catching up on the earlier part of the season you can do so here. Tonight the remaining three women who agreed to attempt to find love on national television have traveled to St. Lucia with Juan Pablo for the overnight dates in the fantasy suite. Let's get right to it. Expect some tears, because I expect some tears.   CLARE'S OVERNIGHT 7:04- Clare: "If Juan Pablo asks me to stay overnight with him, honestly it's something I've been going back and forth with." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah right Clare. You already did sex with him in the ocean. 7:06- Clare, Juan Pablo didn't like your family. Your sister Laura is crazier than a football bat. 7:07- Juan Pablo gets her in the water as quick as possible. Smart move by him though because it's his only move. 7:12- Clare isn't wearing those earrings for fashion. Those double as brass knuckles. They are completely holding her ear lobes hostage. Wherever the earrings want her earlobes to go they are going. 7:15- They pull out the key to the fantasy suite, which is not a hotel key I'm familiar with. As Michael Kinney tweets, "Most of the keys I get have pizza delivery ads on them." Well said. Juan Pablo: "This is it." Clare: "That's it." *EDITOR'S NOTE: They are, in fact, still talking about the key. Juan Pablo: "What do you want to do? How do you feel about it?" *EDITOR'S NOTE: Still about the key. Clare: "Umm………… Blah blah blah your daughter blah blah blah respect blah blah blah you take her into consideration and I do too blah blah blah. When you brought it up to me, I realized that it matters to me that it matters to you." *EDITOR'S NOTE: Uhhhh, wut? 7:16- After spending 5 minutes trying to talk herself out of it, Clare finally talks herself into it.  She's staying the night. 7:17- Juan Pablo: "Tomorrow, we will wake jup anj know a whole lot more about each other." Nah, pretty sure you already know it all. 7:18- If a girl is talking, Juan Pablo is doing his damnedest to get his thumb and forefinger on opposites sides of her closest earlobe. 7:20- Clare: "I'm just loving falling in love with you." *Juan Pablo rubs her entire face* "I know you can't say anything back right now." *Juan Pablo rubs her entire face* 7:22- WE'RE BACK IN WATER Y'ALL!!! Jacuzzi style. No underwater straddle though. Not sure what that means. 7:23- Cameras leave. Goodnight y'all, leave room for Clare's sister.   ANDI'S OVERNIGHT 7:27- After her horrendous dancing and questionable drum playing, I'll say that rhythm isn't her thing. You know what is? Gang law. Gang law is hot. 7:29- I'm in no way saying they shouldn't have played soccer with those village kids, but I am saying they shouldn't have done it barefoot. 7:31- After driving through some trails and trees, they exit their dune buggy and Andi says "I hear water." That's exactly what she said and there is no joke. That's the joke. Because OF COURSE he's taking you in water. 7:33- I can't believe he wasted time talking before he got her under that waterfall. 7:40- Juan Pablo, after Andi tells him she is glad he listens: "Of course I listen. I have to because I don't speak the language and it's really hard for to ever know what you are saying." *EDITOR'S NOTE: I made one of those sentences up. 7:42- Juan Pablo, when Andi asks him what he thinks about some things: "That's why I have an overnight with you tonight, so we can talk about a lot of things." Yeah. Uh huh. 7:43- This just hit me. Andi is from Atlanta. She is a southern girl. How could she fall in love with a guy who wears cargo shorts? 7:50- Juan Pablo, the next morning: "Last night with Andi was great. We talked for hours and hours and hours. I definitely think Andi could be my wife. 7:51- Andi, the next morning: "Waking up this morning, I could not wait to get out of the fantasy suite. I thought that I was falling in love with Juan Pablo, but the fantasy suite turned into a nightmare. I saw a side to him that I really didn't like. The whole night was just a disaster. I hope he did not think that went well. I really hope he did not think that was a good date." So, at least they're on the same page. 7:54- I can't type everything Andi has said in the past three minutes, but here is the gist: She is not a fan of his. 7:55- Andi: "It's not that I'm unsure. I know that he's not the one." *EDITOR'S NOTE: Andi, the KSR crew will be in Atlanta for the SEC Tournament. I firmly believe you could be unsure about me. We'll be at Johnny's Hideaway. 7:56- Overall, I'd say Andi's date did not go well.   NIKKI'S OVERNIGHT 8:03- The conversation got too serious, so they started making out and headed into some YEP, you guessed it! WATER. The ocean, to be specific. Nikki: "Every time I swim with him my feelings grow." *EDITOR'S NOTE: Stop for a minute and think about how dumb that statement is, you guys. She has a point though, I guess. Water does make  things grow. 8:05- Juan Pablo didn't know that "the wheels turning" meant "thinking." Someone really needs to work on his slang with him. 8:06- Boy, Chris Harrison had a tough week in St. Lucia. Dude had to write THREE invitation cards to the fantasy suite! 8:08- Nikki's overnight is easily summed up. They talked a little and made out a lot.   CHRIS HARRISON & JUAN PABLO TALK 8:16- I'm not making this up. Juan Pablo just said these words out loud: "My english is not very good." Dude, we know. 8:18- To sum up this conversation, Juan Pablo said he feels good about all the women about 4 different times. That's how he answers all the questions.   THE REST OF THE SHOW 8:20- The girls all record a video. Nikki and Clare say that they love him. Andi, as predicted, basically said "YO JUANNY PABS YA GIRL NEEDA HOLLA AT YA." 8:25- Andi just had to walk up the longest hill ever to go talk to Juan Pablo. The fact that she could breath to get words out was quite impressive. 8:26- Andi starts talking and Juan Pablo goes straight for the ear. The hair on her ear didn't stand a chance. He shoved that mess behind her ear immediately. 8:31- Andi: "I want to die if I have to hear 'it's okay' again." SAME. 8:33- I'm with Juan Pablo on the "I didn't use the words 'you are here by default." There's no way he's ever used the word "default" before. 8:34- Think about how big the language barrier is between Juan Pablo and Andi. Juan Pablo speaks english as a second language. Andi is a lawyer.  I used to live with a lawyer. He once told me "Aaron, as a lawyer, words are all that matter. Every single word we use matters." Andi knows the meaning to infinitely more words than Juan Pablo does, and that's not his default. It's just not meant to be. 8:39- While Andi is telling Juan Pablo that he doesn't know anything about her, such as what religion she practices, what her social views are, and how she wants to raise her family, Juan Pablo cuts in and says: "What religion am I?" Without missing a beat Andi says: "Catholic (which he is)." It left Juan Pablo speechless. It was truly a drop the mic moment for Andi. She should have walked back down that egregiously long hill and jumped on her plane and gone back to Atlanta. But she kept talking because she's a lawyer and that's what she does. She's putting him on blast. 8:41- After what amounted to probably ten minutes of her telling him off, he went back in for one more face touch. Andi's response: "Don't mess up my make up." 8:43- Andi leaves in a van. Like, leaves the entire show. Kind of takes the suspense out of the rose ceremony. 8:44- Andi, still in the van, is afraid her standards are too high and she'll never find love. Andi, I think there are a lot of guys that would completely remove the word "okay" from their vocabulary to be with you. Your standards aren't too high. 8:45- They are still showing Andi in the van. 8:51- ABC, how long are we going to watch Andi's van? 8:55- While Andi is still in the van, Nikki and Clare get roses. Pretty anticlimactic.   The Running Diary will be taking next week off for the reunion and will be back for the finale in two weeks. Who knows? Maybe we'll do a live blog. If you are interested in a live blog, tweet "We want a live blog for the Bachelor finale" to @AFlenerKSR and @KySportsRadio.