SEC Slant

The conference that football built and John Brady sustains is beginning to look rather reciprocal as LSU and Florida continue their unfettered dominion. While a crash-course for Atlanta and the BCS the two juggernauts appear to be on, they must first duel in the regular season (10/6), a game that will surely evoke memories of Burr/Hamilton, Ruffian/Foolish Pleasure, Lee/Grant, Zach/Slater. But you're a sensible person reader (why else would you be here?), and sensible people know that there's still plenty of football ahead; more football, and more slants... Kentucky (@Arkansas W 42-29)---Count Darren McFadden as a believer. The Arkansas RB/Superhero admitted after Saturday's loss that Kentucky was the most physical team his Razorbacks have seen thus far, and LB Weston Dacus was "shocked Kentucky was able to move the ball on us as well as they did." See, we here in the Bluegrass knew this team had the talent and depth to be competitive all season. But what these quotes from the opponents and numbers from the scoreboards really tell us, is that this team believes they're the superior team and are going to win...and hell, you can't argue yet. Someone once said, perhaps it was Sinatra or Pat Dye, that "you're nobody 'til you win on the road in the SEC," and the fact UK did it in a town other than Starkville or Nashville, agaisnt the best player in the nation, and with a mere B- in execution, tells you all you need to know. Next Game: Florida Atlantic 9/29 Arkansas---Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days in Fayetteville. The Hogs just couldn't open 0-2 in the SEC, but here they are, and there Houston Nutt goes...after the season. There's really nothing more the McFadden/Jones show can do, as Casey Dick leads what just might be the worst passing attack in the history of college football mankind. If a home loss to UK weren't enough, third-string RB Michael Smith was booked on felony charges after allegedly using a stolen credit card. Funny that he's a thief after being so giving at the end of the first half Saturday. Don't fret though Michael, some credit card bandits wind up getting their own ESPN Radio show. Next Game: North Texas 9/29 South Carolina (@LSU L 28-16)---As the pip-squeaked LSU kicker ran freely into the endzone on a beautifully crafted fake FG, all the Ball Coach could do was fight off that sleazy, Senator-like grin of his, hoisted by his own petard. Although the game was far more one-sided than the final score indicates, losing in the Red Stick does not warrant sagging heads. I'm not sure the New York Giants could win there. But what is disconcering for the Cocks is the continued ineffectiveness from fifth-year QB Blake Mitchell, who has already been relegated to clipboard duty in favor of RS Frosh Chris Smelley. The switch couldn't be more apropros, as Carolina's offense has been reeking with mediocrity all season. ***UPDATE*** LB Jasper Brinkley, the leading tackler a season ago, will miss the rest of the season with a sprained knee. Next Game: Miss. State 9/29 LSU---To borrow from the great George Harrison, "my sweet Lord" this team is good. With QB Matt Flynn still hobbled by a bum ankle and the rain unrelentent, the Tigers employed their fleet of running backs and racked up 290 on the ground, while allowing 17 merciful rushing yards to the Gamecocks. I really don't see how anyone can legally beat this team. I'd rather be locked in a room with Skip Bayless then have to line up agaisnt these freaks. Next Game: @Tulane 9/29 Georgia (@Alabama W 26-23 OT)---Mark Richt and his Bulldogs continue their astonishing success on the road, and slip out of Tuscaloosa with an enormous overtime win. QB Matthew Stafford has made his mistakes this season, but continues to show poise when it's needed most. If you don't Knowshon Moreno yet, look him up, because this freshman RB is a player. Next Game: Ole Miss 9/29 Florida (@Ole Miss W 30-24)---Do you need further evidence that no game, espcially on the road, can be taken for granted in this conference? Give credit to the hapless Rebels who had every reason to not come out of the locker room for this one, but made the Gators sweat for four quarters, exposing their pedestrian secondary in the process. One man who didn't perspire, because machines don't have sweat glands, was QB Tim Tebow. 261 yards in the air, 166 on the ground, 4 TD's....yeah, I'd say that's got Heisman written all over it. Next Game: Auburn 9/29 even as a boy, Tebow showcased all-world athleticism Other Scores: Auburn 55 New Mexico St. 20 Tennessee 48 Arkansas St. 27 Mississippi St. 31 Gardner-Webb 15 SEC Pa'er Rankings 1. LSU---They're hiding in your closet when you go to sleep. 2. Florida---Can Tebow play safety? Umm, of course. 3. Kentucky---Head Coach Billy Gillispie has...wait...is it snowing in hell? 4. South Carolina---No shame in Baton Rouge, but huge question marks under center. 5. Georgia---Still very capable of winning the East. 6. Alabama---Just might be LSU's toughest out this season. 7. Tennessee---Enjoyed a weekend of cupcake, while Fulmer opted for more donuts. 8. Vanderbilt---When you don't play, you can't lose. 9. Arkansas---Best backfield in the nation can't compensate for 0-2. 10. Miss State---2 wins in a row?! Is that, yes, I think we can call that a streak. 11. Auburn---Yayyyy, Auburn won, yayyyy. 12. Ole Miss---Helluvan effort agaisnt the Gators, but still a long way off. Standings: EAST Florida 2-0 4-0 Kentucky 1-0 4-0 (breathes on fingernails and wipes them off on his shirt) South Carolina 1-1 3-1 Georgia 1-1 3-1 Vanderbilt 1-1 2-1 Tennessee 0-1 2-2 WEST LSU 2-0 4-0 Alabama 2-1 3-1 Mississippi State 1-1 3-1 Auburn 0-1 2-2 Arkansas 0-2 1-2 Mississippi 0-2 1-3 While not SEC-related, this clip of Oklahoma St. Head Coach Mike Gundy flipping out on a local reporter, who concocted a column filled with rumors and criticisms, is quite priceless. If you know me, you know I love a good press-conference blow-up, and this one also teaches us some valuable lessons in the process.