Short and Insufficient Profile: Jake Lanefski

by:Broseph•07/26/08

OK, so, during the dragging, sweaty, uncomfortable months of summer, we flippantly mentioned that we would be profiling every player on the team. It will only be fun and worthwhile, we decided, if we were both informative AND funny. Well, it would be really fun if we were drunk the entire time, but that's neither here nor there. Thus, for these ten weeks leading up to the UL game, we will have at least one profile a day. We hope you enjoy these as much as we enjoyed the idea of doing them, but not the actual task. Oh, and we see the egregious "that's what she said" in the headline. We'd also like to use this italicized space to apologize to the families of the players whose last names end in 'A' or 'B' because these early ones might suck a little.

Boring, Obligatory Vitals Height--6'4" Weight--280 40--N/A Year--FR (Redshirt) Position--Center Hometown--Mobile, AL (McGill-Toolen) Unfair comparison to NFL-er: Jeff Saturday. He's the only NFL center I can think of off the top of my head. Most interesting fact from his media guide bio: Only played football for two years...he "just kinda picked it up" his senior year of high school. Must be nice. Also played golf in high school. Long off the tee, much like the Dalai Lama. He can drive the ball over 400 yards, ranking him 5th IN THE WORLD in his age group. Good God. Imagine that guy in a scramble. Something we made up about him: What could I make up about this kid? Items of legitimate interest: Was name the Scout Team Player of the Week last year. He chose UK over Southern Miss, FSU, Auburn, Alabama, and South Florida...holy crap. Already has added about ten pounds since his arrival, AND CAN DRIVE THE BALL 400 YARDS. Outlook for 2008, based on light research by our minions: If it comes down to a drive-off, everyone is screwed. But he should fight for the center vacancy (Eric Scott) with Jorge Gonzalez and Marcus Davis. BTW, he is my new favorite player.