All of the times I wanted to shove Eli Drinkwitz into a locker at SEC Media Days
Eli Drinkwitz. Where to begin.
The Missouri head football coach has found a way to infuriate me at every turn. No matter what he does, it strikes a nerve. As friend of the program Connor O’Gara put it, he is my Toby Flenderson. Every time he opens his mouth, I want to give him a noogie and shove him into a locker. Day one at SEC Media Days was no exception. Here are just a few times I rolled my eyes from the gallery at the College Football Hall of Fame.
Eliah is the owner of the largest Jordan shoe collection of any FBS head coach.
An SEC football coach loves to show off his Jordans? Never seen that before.
“What a loud applause I received right there.”
It is admittedly awkward when Greg Sankey introduces coaches and every journalist does what they’re supposed to, sit silently. Thanks for putting the onus on the professionals.
Drinkwitz Drops a Tom Brady Joke and a Pat Forde Shout Out
Every coach saves their best material for SEC Media Days. “Unless they’re Tom Brady, college football is going to end for everybody at some time. We want to make sure they’re prepared for life outside of the game.”
Drinkwitz did not get a laugh out of that one, but he did get a chuckle out of one reporter when he mentioned that Barrett Banister is getting married this weekend. “This is kind of like his bachelor party here.”
When he wasn’t trying to make the media laugh, he was pandering to them. Eli Drinkwitz could have provided an original thought when discussing the state of college football. Instead he credited Pat Forde for something thousands of people have said over the last year.
“But I do worry and I do question what are the guiding principles for college football and athletics moving forward,” said the Missouri head coach.
“I sure hope it’s not, as Pat Forde wrote, about the almighty dollar. I hope it’s bigger than TV deals being the college football guiding principles because every action we take moving forward, we lose sight of what we love about this game.”
Coach Speak
When searching for players in the transfer portal, he has a set of criteria that is straight from the Coach Speak 101 course they teaching at Football Coach U. “For us at the University of Missouri, it is all about the right fit, focused intangibles, talented and tough.”
“There is a continuity to our program.”
You had me fooled, Eli. Missouri has employed four defensive coordinators in four years. That’s continuity.
But you know what, who needs consistency at coordinator when you have both long snappers returning? Yes, he said this: “(There’s) Open competition at punter, but return both long snappers.”
Eli Drinkwitz isn’t that bad
Now that I’ve gotten all of that out of my system, I’m willing to be the bigger man and admit that the epicenter of my anger revolves around what he does on the field. You gotta give credit where credit is due. Eli Drinkwitz is one hell of a game-planner. Regardless of circumstance, he plays the Cats tough and turns each matchup with the Wildcats into a highly-contested rock fight. When I asked him why that’s the case, he had nice things to say about Mark Stoops’ program.
“Coach Stoops does a tremendous job. Obviously knows exactly what the blueprint of his program is and how he wants to develop it. He’s had the benefit of some really strong defensive schemes and defensive players. Their defensive line is as impressive as anybody we play against, save for Georgia,” Drinkwitz said.
“I have a lot of respect for Mark and that program, what he’s been able to do. It’s going to be another good game.”
As much as he might anger me from time to time, the Missouri head coach isn’t that bad. After all, Eli can throw a football over that mountain.
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