The Comeback Kid - Five Quotable John Mulaney Bits

The One Thing You Can't Replace
Mulaney's second album, "New in Town" possibly has the most plays in my iTunes of any comedy album, maybe second to Christopher Titus' "Norman Rockwell is Bleeding". But of the bits on that album, "The One Thing You Can't Replace" is definitely the most listened to track. There's just something about the story, where you just hope every bit of it is true, because the imagery alone is hilarious. There are so many times where I've wanted to exit a situation by just throwing a glass on the ground and yell, "SCATTER!" https://play.spotify.com/track/6g4g8xqoSn5mqMApG2SkhZThe Xanax Story
Hands down, Nurse Batman gets quoted at least once a week from Mulaney's "The Xanax Story". Most of the times it's in a sarcastic maner, but once you hear Nurse Batman say, "I'm too blessed to be stressed," it just sticks in your head, and you end up using it in everyday conversation. Plus, like any John Mulaney album ender, https://play.spotify.com/track/217o1XRTa8BUOT5IhrOFw7Special Victims and Ice-T
Who hasn't spent an entire Tuesday sick at home watching nothing but a USA marathon on Law and Order: SVU? Mulaney has made it very apparent in both of his albums that he is a huge fan of SVU. In this bit, he specifically takes on how Ice-T has spent a decade in the Sexual Crimes unit, but is still surprised by different situations that come up. Anytime someone understands something that isn't that hard to understand, I always want to respond with "Yeah Ice, you got it..." https://play.spotify.com/track/0Nvu0LhApVvQiEIhIFhaQjNew In Town
I cannot tell you the number of times my wife has said the words "I'm gonna push him", in reference to this bit. The initial setup to the joke isn't as funny as the idea of the homeless guy practicing his pitch in the mirror of how he'd approach Mulaney. https://play.spotify.com/track/02puLj8QSUZPTJGOBkZIN4The Salt and Pepper Diner
This Bit. The closer on his debut album, The Salt and Pepper Diner is one of the few bits to reduce me to tears. Just put yourself in the scene as someone sitting in the Salt and Pepper Diner as this situation is going on, and it will either drive you mad or it will become the funniest thing in the world. You'll never listen to Tom Jones the same way again. There are some days when I'm in a restaurant with a jukebox, and I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do this exact bit. https://play.spotify.com/track/1OWYw9x5rS9YeqFHigsJp1@FunkhouserKSR We're still taking donations for our Extra Life 24-Hour Gaming Marathon for Kentucky Children's Hospital, we're just a few dollars shy of breaking $2,000. So if you're able to make a donation, head over HERE and help out!
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