UK's Cheerleaders Won Another Championship But I Still Can't Win Over My Dad

Editor’s Note: The following was written by Harold Leeder, editor-in-chief of The New Circle Circular, Lexington’s #1 source of fake news you can’t count on.

Like modern U.S. currency, the University of Kentucky cheerleading squad has excelled far past the gold standard after securing their 23rd National Championship this weekend. As the team lifted the trophy above their heads in victory on Sunday evening, my father barely lifted his fork after smelling the lasagna I had brought over for family dinner night.

“It says family lasagna right on the box, Dad!” I yelled into my steering wheel as I headed back to my apartment. Yes, the same apartment that just over four months ago I needed to borrow a large sum of money from my hard working father in order to pay the security deposit for.

The story of the Wildcats success is a tale as old as time. Every year UK’s cheerleading team defies the laws of physics as they fly through the air with an athletic grace that was spoken of once before by the likes of Hesiod and Homer. These modern day Greek gods have an unparalleled mark of perfection that year after year reminds us in turn how much I’ve disappointed my dad.

This is the very same dad who didn’t say a word when he co-signed for my apartment, which in this moment feels even more empty than it did before. The fact that these kids, not more than 22 years of age, have achieved so much and are set to achieve so much more seems to only, by comparison, prove my father right.

When I asked the cheerleading team about what this level of success takes, they explained, “We train every day, wake up every morning at 4 a.m., regiment our nutrition with meals whose only purpose is to fuel the incredible amount of energy it takes to bounce around this gym-sized mat.” To be fair, that does seems a lot harder than just taking a little bit more of an interest in old cars, now that I think about it.

Look, I’m not writing this piece about UK’s national championship win to blame my dad for anything.  I’m writing it because I can’t get behind on rent, and the last thing my relationship with my father needs is a red mark on his credit score.

The worst part is I know how much my father loves collegiate cheerleading but I also know he will refuse to read this article on principle when he sees my byline. Either way, let’s all take this moment to celebrate this remarkable achievement and let it inspire us to get a little better every day and maybe cheer ourselves on every now and then.

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